The flashing bulbs were annoying. They'd been sitting outside his house for hours. What did they want? All he had done was gone outside to check the mail and they jumped on him like a co-eds on an R.M. at BYU. So this was what they were like. This was the price of fame. He didn't like it much... Why would anyone wish this upon themselves??
Greetings to one and all from Draper, UT, on a lovely Tuesday afternoon. It's time once again for another Signs of the Times. Topics to be discussed today: Why video games are unrealistic, people who shouldn't really be famous, the minority, good eatin', and vicious Mormon fans. On we go!
Earlier today at an undisclosed location at an undisclosed time, I was thinking about how unrealistic some video games are. One of my favorite games is "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater," which, in my opinion, is as far from realistic as you can possibly get. There is no possible way you could do any of that stuff. But, returning to my previous thought process, maybe there's a reason that some games are so... fake. Austin and I once planned out our own video game. It was to be a sports game, but it would be the most realistic sports game ever invented. Think of anything you've ever seen in a sporting event - that's what you'd get in this game. Intense five-on-five basketball, spectacular hail mary passes, and gripping full-count pitches in the World Series. It would be great. People would love it. Then picture this. On your way to the Orioles game, a train derails, thus cancelling the game. Or how about this - at a Broncos game there is a gas leak in the stadium basement. Sorry! Game over. And how about at the Pistons semi-final game there is a power outage and the game is held up for two hours. And you don't get a refund. Personally, I like it. Eye-popping graphics and stunning realism. Who wants an autographed copy?
Something that's bothered me for a while now is the fame and fortune that some people get. I don't mean to be negative here, but it's true! There are some celebrities that just shouldn't be famous.
- I distinctly remember one day in U.S. History when my teacher, Mr. Murphy, wrote "Paris Hilton must die" on the whiteboard. He turned to the class and asked the age-old question, "Why should we worship her?!?" I'm in agreeance. So what if Paris Hilton is a hotel heiress? I don't care.
- Ryan Seacrest. Even Simon Cowell, himself, recently stated on an edition of "American Idol," that it doesn't take much talent to have Seacrest's job.
- Stephen A. Smith of ESPN. Who is he? How did he get where he is now? And why does he talk so much?
- Ex-wives of Donald Trump. What have they ever done and why can I name two or three of them?
- Carson Daly. I'm fearful to admit that I have ever watched "Last Call" or whatever that show's called, but I've seen a few minutes of it and I honestly wonder who hired him.
Reportedly, 97.8% of employees that work at Guitar Center have tattoos. Now this isn't official, or anything. I just overheard it while I was typing things into the computer the other day. I slid down in my chair a little bit, beads of perspiration dripping from my brow. I feel a bit out of place there. There's not really a dress code. There are a few things you can't wear, but you can wear pretty much anything you want. I don't really dress up, per se, but compared to everybody else, it feels like Junior Prom. Luckily, they're paying me pretty well so far and I get all my nights and all of Sunday off, so that's good enough for now.
Eight Belles, the horse that took second place at the Kentucky Derby, was put out to the proverbial pasture after the race. This is creating quite a stir amongst horse racing enthusiasts. I honestly don't really know what's going on. I didn't even know what "euthanized" was until Austin asked. Apparently Eight Belles was the only filly in the race. I guess that a "filly" is a female horse, if what I heard was correct. That's strange. I thought "filly" was referring to the type of cheesesteak they were going to make her into next week. My mistake.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Dear A-Town,
How has the Jazz's recent loss affected your life?"
- Phanny
A. Ric Bucher, an ESPN NBA analyst, recently was quoted as attributing the Utah Jazz's home success to the crowd in EnergySoultions Arena. "They are Mormons, and they are in Salt Lake, and there is nothing else there. You know, you gotta smile and be happy all the time. This is the one opportunity for people to get vicious." After watching the Jazz lose game one versus the Los Angeles Lakers, I was impressed by several things. First of all, the Jazz played much better than I thought they would. I was expecting the Lakers to come out and kill us. I say either Jazz in seven games or (unfortunately) Lakers in five. The other thing I was impressed by was how lame the crowd was. Throughout most of the game, the camera was scanning the audience, spotting celebrities and other persons of high social standing, but I'm fairly confident that none of them were all too interested in the game. That's understandable, though, because they're stars, and they are in Los Angeles, and there are lots of other things there. You know, they gotta smile and look beautiful all the time. This is the one opportunity for celebrities to look boring.
Remember, kids, you, too, can submit your questions to me via email or otherwise to have them answered in an upcoming Issue of "Signs of the Times."
Taking a step back into the archives of "City Council w/ A-Town," it's time once again for "On This Day in History," brought to you by www.britannica.com. On this day in 1937, while landing at Lakehurst, New Jersey, on it's first transatlantic crossing of the year, the German dirigible Hindenburg burst into flames and was destroyed, killing 36 of the 97 persons aboard.
The Two Minute Instant Message will be taking a short break until I can find a Subscriber worthy of participating online for more than, well, two minutes. Sorry, folks. If you're interested in participating, email me at tarheelglory19@yahoo.com.
And finally, the Shoutout of the Week this week goes to Travis "Frank-Town" Frakes. You've officially been voted the Most Valuable Player of the NBA. Congratulations. You can tell anybody you want about this and you can even talk about it on TV if you want. But there's a chance this isn't official until next Thursday.
That's about it for this week. Have you laughed? Have you cried? All in a Tuesday's work here at "Signs of the Times."
Until next Time,
Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.
Aaron
No comments:
Post a Comment