Another week had passed and once again the sun set on Draper, ushering in the end of another glorious Tuesday. And on this day of days, Aaron swore to himself that this Time he'd be bigger and better than the last two.
Greetings to one and all. This is Aaron speaking. Today is Tuesday, thus, I send you all another email that probably half of you aren't getting because it's being marked as Spam. Well that's what happens when I email it to myself, anyway. I guess that's what I get for trying to email myself. Hummm... Much has happened this last week and I believe I can up the proverbial ante a little bit, bringing you the news as it is in the real world. That's right. Today we will tackle real world issues (no pun intended) and try to put everything in its eternal perspective. Topics to be discussed: Kansas, hunting season (again), the Olympic torch, filling the fizz-ont, and my future offspring. On we go!
You heard it here second or third or fourth - the Kansas Jayhawks are your 2008 NCAA Men's Basketball champions! Two days after thoroughly trouncing my beloved North Carolina Tarheels, the Jayhaws squared off against the Memphis Tigers last night in the final game of the postseason. I didn't watch most of the game, but saw that Memphis was ahead by about a hundred with five minutes left, so I figured it was pretty much over. With a minute-thirty-two left in the game, I put in a tape to record the traditional "One Shining Moment" highlight reel that follows the game and returned to my other activities. About half an hour later, I went upstairs and my father inquired as to whether or not I had seen the end of the game. He cast a funny glance at me when I asked if Memphis won and told me that I had ought to watch the last few minutes of regulation. I retrieved the tape from my room and popped it in, consecutively watching Memphis totally blow their lead and head into overtime, where they eventually bit the big one. They had a huge lead - even with under a minute left in the game. The game was over! All they had to do was knock down a couple free throws and it would have been them up there on the ladder cutting down the net. But no! They could only hit one free throw. Kansas came down, nearly botched their final play, and nailed a three, forcing the tie and giving them a few more minutes of life. Luckily, that was all they needed. Choke! CHOKE!! I think I could have made two out of ten free throws, even with all that pressure... Where are my shoelaces?
You guessed it - I'm still unemployed. I'm getting a little frustrated now. I've lost around two thousand dollars by not working a single day so far, which is not good at all. I've decided it's time to give Musician's Friend the boot and look elsewhere. I've applied all over the place, but the problem with applying online is that I haven't heard back from anybody yet. I wish we could just do this the old fashioned way - apply in person, interview me, and tell me whether or not I got the job. I'm not a mind reader, here, and I'm sick of trying to guess whether I'm employed or whether I should move on.
In other news, protestors might have taken things a bit too far last week. Some crazy loonies from across the pond have become a little over-zealous in their protests against China and the Summer Olympics. According to newspersons across the globe, the Olympic torch has had to alter its course on several occasions in various countries, sometimes having to skip a route or tourist trap, such as city hall in Paris. The flame was even extinguished several times and shipped in an alternate path by public transportation. I've seen the videos. It's crazy. I'm sure a lot of people are worried about this. Terrorism, patriotism, blah blah blah. I, on the other hand, find it amusing. Take out the torch! What a brilliant idea! Don't you think the torch relay is more exciting this way? In 2002, I was present at the torch relay when it came through Draper. We'll just say it was a little boring - it was cool, don't get me wrong - it was just kind of boring. We sat around for like three hours to see a guy in a jumpsuit run down Draper Parkway for like thirty seconds. I didn't even get any good pictures. My proposal is this one: Make it an Olympic event. Award a medal to whichever country can take out the torch first. Afterwards, help the guy up, of course, but I can see it now - in 2014 the Olympics come back home to Salt Lake City and my family again takes to the hill beneath KMart. After sitting around for a couple hours and enjoying the company of friends and family, here comes the torch! What a beautiful sight - a representation of athleticism and goodwill toward all nations, when - LOOK! There's a big man in black sweat pants coming out of Big O Tires! Where's he going?!? BAM!!! Down goes the torch and a gold medal for the good old United States of America.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Hey A-Town,
Have you heard any crazy rumors lately?"
- The Myth Buster
A. Thank you for your question, "Myth Buster." That's a good question and the answer is yes, I have! According to an article posted on CNN.com on April the first, Snoop Dogg has converted to the Mormon faith. I read the article and even saw the picture of Snoop reading the Book of Mormon on a plane. Supposedly, Family Home Evening has played a huge role in his apparent conversion and has truly excited his children. However, is this article for real? The folks here at "Signs of the Times" are speaking out and saying "Not likely." First of all, even if he loves eating brownies every Monday night, what about standards? Can he clean up his filthy mouth? Will he put down his firearms? Will he be able to sell all his illegal cocaine before his baptismal date? Can you see Snoop Dogg teaching the Priests Quorum? Doubtful. Plus, can you really trust any news that you hear on April Fool's Day? You can go investigate for yourself, buddy, but I think this myth is easily bustable. Next question.
Q. "Dear Aaron,
How many kids do you want and what do you want their names to be?"
- Just Curious
The Junior Mounties
A. SALUTE! Thanks for asking. Actually, I had this all planned out in high school - three kids. All boys, namely, Spot, Theo, and Fitzgerald. Spot and Theo are twins and Fitzgerald is Black. He has an afro and plays football. I will take them to the bus stop dressed in matching jogging suits.
Remember, you can submit your very own questions to "Signs of the Times" by emailing me at tarheelglory19@yahoo.com
The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to Jesus Rodriguez and Ammon Hatch. Roddy is being honored for his successful tour of Draper last weekend. He made it home alive and took home a nice shirt to remember me by. This wasn't a Draper shirt and it wasn't free, but maybe he'll remember Utah every time he wears it. Ammon is receiving props this week for his outstanding cinematic contributions to the Feel Good About Yourself Tuesday group on facebook.com. Thanks to him, 80 people can enjoy highlights from the year in Alta Band 2005. Nice job, boys.
That's about it for this week. There are just crazy things going on everywhere you look. Plus, when the Jazz win on a Tuesday, everybody Feels Good.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave The Door Open!
Aaron
No comments:
Post a Comment