"Another Tuesday afternoon, another Newsletter," he thought. This time, however, things were different. It was the late afternoon by this point. Why was he gathering his thoughts so late this day? What was so different about THIS Tuesday?
Greetings to one and all from snowy Draper, Utah. Hopefully the snow won't be here for very long because everybody knows that wouldn't be a good thing. This week is a little different than the last few for one giant reason to be discussed hereafter. Other issues to be discussed: Taking a few hits, partying too hard, throwing out some ideas, and a missionary's worst nightmare. On we go!
The big news is that I, Aaron "Tuesday" Christensen, am employed and have made a lovely sum of over one hundred and sixty dollars in the past forty-eight hours. I'm sure this may come as a shock to many of you, considering the fact that merely a week ago I was complaining about my joblessness. And you'd never believe where I'm working... Yes, it's true - Guitar Center @ Musician's Friend - the very place that tossed me around for so many weeks. Now how did this happen? Let us examine the facts: The phone rang last Wednesday and I answered it. It was the HR girl from Musician's Friend telling me that they had a training class on Monday (yesterday). This was a big step for them - for the first time, they actually did have a class and they weren't calling to tell me not to bother for another week. Still desirous to stick it to the proverbial man, I told them I'd think about it and call them back. After a few minutes of deliberation, I thought that if I stuck it to 'em and shopped around for another job, it could be weeks until somebody else hired me. So I called them back, got the 411 and accepted. It's pretty good. I'm in training for two weeks from 8 - 5 and then I'll start working inbetween the hours of 7 AM and 6 PM, so I'll have all my nights off and Sundays guaranteed off. I'm making $10.50 an hour for being bilingual, which is three bucks more than my gringo friends, so that's a bonus, too. In the last two days, I have been taking a crash course on Guitar and Microphone 101, learning a ton about the music industry and rock and roll history, so it has been a lot of fun. It kind of feels like I'm in school since I am learning so much and taking frequent notes, but it's all good when there's money in the pocket. Am I right or am I right?
It is with deep regret in my heart that I inform you that we here at "Signs of the Times" have taken a few blows to the noggin in the last week. All we have to say is this - If you don't want to read it... Don't. I'll take you off the list in two shakes.
In recent sporting news, Denver Nuggets star, Carmelo Anthony, was arrested early Monday morning under suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. At four o'clock in the morning, he was pulled over for weaving and failure to dim his lights. This was coming on the heels of a huge Nuggets victory over the Houston Rockets, which, coincidentally, was one of "Melo's" worst shooting nights of the season. Though a good topic that could be treated might be how his mugshot looks like he just got out of a knife fight, I would rather like to discuss possible alternatives for NBA superstars the next time they want to party. The following are a few suggestions I would offer them so that they could potentially avoid an ill-fated run-in with the Fuzz.
- Ice cream eating competition: Eating is always a good solution. It's not the healthiest of all choices, but that's what everybody does when they're excited... or like... depressed... I love ice cream.
- Video games: Two excellent options in my humble opinion would be Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero. Perhaps NBA Live or something for the fellahs. Before my mission, a weekend without Playstation was like a day without sunshine.
- Roller skate: I used to wake up early to watch the old replays of "Roller Derby." I don't know if any of you know what this is, but believe me - it would probably be way more fun than cruising State drunk.
- Jumping on a trampoline?: I haven't done it for quite some time, but I think it should still be a pretty fair way to let out extra energy. I remember one time... nevermind.
And finally,
- Dust off the old black sweatsuit and go chase after the Olympic torch.
Spring Cleaning is coming up, which means it's time to clean everything out. I'm not a big "Spring Cleaner," myself, but I've seen it in, like, cartoons and stuff, so I kind of know what it's all about. Almost every house has a giant pile of junk in the corner that's gathering dust, so usually the mom takes the broom and dusts all the um... dust off. She tells the kids to sweep it up and they push all of it under the rug, which the father takes out to beat with a stick as it hangs from a rope and then the whole family takes the pile of junk and leaves it in the street for a couple days until a couple Black guys in orange suits throw it in the back of their city dump truck. At least that's how I think it is - correct me if I'm wrong. I just wanted to throw out a couple new ideas to put a new-century spin on an old American tradition. I think that Spring Cleaning could be more fun if you did it with Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons" blasting out of your surround sound stereo. Doing things to music is usually less boring than without it, plus, I mean, it is Spring Cleaning, after all! Clever, don't you think? Another thing that could make this sometimes tedious task a little more exciting would be if you did it blindfolded. If you accidentally crashed into and broke some nice lamps in the living room, let's say, that would be bad - but at least you'd have a better looking junk pile in your front yard, right? My last idea is this one - If you're getting up there, agewise and would rather have other people clean your house instead of doing it yourself, move to Texas and tell people you're a polygamist.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Ah, here comes my trusty envelope of letters sent directly from you, the readers. I always look forward to this portion of each Issue. Let's see what we have this week...
...
Hmm... That's interesting... There aren't any questions this week... This has never happened before and I'm not really sure what to do. I mean, we usually at least have some fake questions thrown in there, but it seems like this week the Junior Mounties are on vacation or something. What's going on here?
(As always, Management here at "Signs of the Times" would like to remind you that any questions or inquiries may be submitted electronically totarheelglory19@yahoo.com)
The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to my dear brother, Austin. Austin received his mission call this last week to the Brazil Santa Maria mission. He reports in August and is reportedly very happy about this new calling. For more information, please contact him personally.
That's about it for this week. If you'll excuse, me, some men in Texas state vehicles just pulled up with their lights on. I think they're here to dust.
Until next Time,
Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.
Aaron
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