A week removed from his "un-hibernation," problems arose in the distance for the one they call "A-Town."
That's right. It's been a crazy week. But that's good for me, in most cases. Well... sort of. At least it gives me a lot to talk about. Topics to be discussed today: Another letdown, a media frenzy, men in large hats, and taking the juice. On we go!
Many of you know that I was recently (as in a few weeks ago) hired by a local music store. The first week of potential employment for me was held back since they were only training part-time employees that Monday. "There will be another class next Monday," they said. The next Monday came around. I hadn't received a phone call, so I decided to call them. "There's not a class today. There will be another class next Monday." Great. All right. I scrambled to find something to occupy my time for another week (hence, Signs of the Times, Issue No. 1). Last Thursday I called them again to see what time I would need to come in on Monday (yesterday). "The people who make the schedules have been really busy lately. There's not a class on Monday. There will be another class next Monday." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? So here I am, pinching the proverbial pennies for another week. I don't know what to do! I mean, I guess I'm just waiting now, but seriously - if you're not going to hire me... don't hire me!
Well March Madness is coming down to the wire. On second thought, I guess March Madness is over because it's not March anymore. Nevertheless, the NCAA tournament is almost over. We're down to the Final Four and, for the first time in the history of history, all four number one seeds made it to the end. Sadly, the downfall of poor #10 Davidson would have to be Stephen Curry and his would-be heroics down the stretch. What can place the blame squarely on the shoulders of Sportscenter for that one. Let's be honest, if I were Stephen Curry, one of the top two or three overly-hyped college basketball players as of late, and I'd seen myself nailing threes "todo el santo dia," as they say in Spanish, I'd want to be shooting threes, too! I wouldn't take time to square up to the basket and Heaven forbid I should pass the ball to a wide open teammate with three seconds left - I'm taking the shot myself. On behalf of the blessed state of Kansas, thank you, ESPN, for glorifying the brains out of the poor kid and forcing him to lob up so many bricks in the last five minutes of the game.
As far as my bracket is concerned, I've still got Memphis and North Carolina. My only chance of winning in my group is if Memphis and UNC go to the finals and the Tarheels take it, baby. I've got faith. It's gonna happen.
At a recent Utah Jazz game, Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints paid a visit not only to the broadcasting table, but also to the Jazz bench during a time out. According to Deseret News, it seems like his visit was hardly noticed by players and the coaching staff. He went around patting people on the back and telling Jerry Sloan, the Jazz coach, that he was doing a good job. As cool as this occurrence may seem to some, it is a little disturbing to me for two reasons: First of all, what if he were some spy for the other team? Or an escaped convict! Are you just going to let anybody into the huddle? Where is security?!? And secondly, he's Thomas S. Monson, the Lord's Prophet! Upon realizing this, Carlos Boozer said, "Is that who he is? That's pretty cool." I'll say! You just met the Prophet, Booze-Dawg! I guess you need to take into account that most of the team is not Mormon, but still... That would be like the Pope going to a Pacers game and nobody noticing. "Was that the Pope? Is that who he was? That's kind of cool!" You would think that the giant hat and the burning incense would give him away...
**QUESTION TIME**
Q. "What are you going to do with the rest of your life?"
- Ryan and Shandee Goulding
A. Good question. I'm currently watching "Survivor: Fiji" while I wait for my occupational turmoil to pan out. It's pretty good stuff. This little old guy is going nuts. He found a hidden idol in the camp that will keep him immune from being voted off the show. The necklace has a small turtle on it and looks pretty nifty. He thought he'd be clever and make a fake one to fool anybody else who might try to find the original idol. This is actually quite a good idea, but the idol he made was half a coconut with a smiley face painted on it and the initials "I.I." for "immunity idol." It looks like a third grader made it. I hope somebody falls for it, though. That would be hilarious. I guess that's kind of a tangent, but that's currently what I'm doing with my life. I could have summed it up a little bit quicker by just saying "Nothing," huh? Sorry. Next question.
Q. "If you could jump into a huge bowl of either Jell-O, marshmallows, or ice cream which would it be, what flavor, and why that one?"
- Ian Staley
A. What a fine question, indeed. I would like to jump into a bowl of Jell-O. Green Jell-O. Because one time when I was younger I really liked a movie called "Mickey and the Beanstalk," wherein Mickey and a few friends climb a huge plant and end up in a huge castle. They end up on top of the kitchen table and land in a giant container of gelatin and bounce on it like a trampoline. I wonder if doing it in real life would emit similar elasticity...
Q. "Dear Aaron,
We've been thinking about Major League Baseball... You know yesterday was opening day, right? Well we saw Jose Canseco on Letterman last night and we have a question for you - Have you ever used steroids?"
- Just Curious,
The Junior Mounties
A. (SALUTE!) Absolutely yes.
Once again, you can submit Questions to "Signs of the Times" by email, telephone, or otherwise.
The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to Ian Staley, Nicki Ortman, Richard Brunson, Arianna Quinto, and Austin Christensen for their unmatched enthusiasm for the Feel Good About Yourself Tuesday Gauntlet Photo Challenge. Congratulations to them for their participation.
That's about it for this week. I'm off to Exile Island...
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
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