Signs of the Times, Issue No. 191 - 01/17/12

Perhaps the strangest Sign of them all was the Time it was posted.

Greetings to one and all. Yes, it's true. This is Aaron. I know you're all scrambling around to find a clock and check the time, but yes. I'm posting this Newsletter at noon on a Tuesday - contradictory to my typical posting time frame between 6 and 10 PM. Shocking, right? The great thing about Tuesdays is that you can Feel Good About Yourself, no matter how absolutely crappy your life may be. There is perhaps no greater example of this principle than (you guessed it) yours, truly. My life is a constant reminder that when one door opens for you, another one slams right in your face. Allow me to explain. Topics to be discussed today: A stressful weekend of sports, the tale of the Titanic - only real!, and the next glorious step in the ever-changing, ever-evolving career path of the man they once called A-Town. Very, very exciting things on the horizon, my friends! But what would good news be without a horrible tragedy and the loss of a loved one? Let's dive right on in. On we go!

Last week, I worked my first five-day work week in as many weeks. I had the blessed opportunity of using up the remainder of my paid time off at the end of December, so I got a day off during the week before Christmas, two paid days off the following week, got the next Monday off for the observation of Christmas, and the next Monday after that off due to observation of the New Year. It was a beautiful thing. As I'm sure you can imagine, by the time Friday rolled around last week, I was habitually ready for the week to be over. Nevertheless, I hopped in what Austin has dubbed "The Silver Saint," threw that baby into reverse, and backed out of my driveway on the way to work. As I patiently awaited my turn to be metered onto I-15, I heard a quiet clicking noise. Whether it was coming from underneath my car or from the diesel truck in front of me, I could not be too sure. Regardless, I said a quick little prayer and set off. Everything was business as usual as I made my way northbound on my daily commute. I took the 4500 S. exit, just two or three minutes from my final destination. As I I halted at the red light, the heater seemed to go down a notch and the light glowing on the dashboard flickered. The "SERVICE ENGINE SOON" warning turned on. And then the motor killed. I was stuck. "Crap, crap, crap." The light turned green. Hurriedly, I put the car in park and turned the key. Nothing. A few more attempts. Nothing. To make a long story short, the highway management guy came and tried to jump me... er... he tried to jump my car, rather... but to no avail. I got to sit (with no heat, mind you) in the median of the offramp for 45 minutes until I could get towed back to a repair shop in Sandy, at which point my dad took me to breakfast and I borrowed my mom's car, making it to work two hours late. Could have been much worse, thought I. Probably an easy fix. Five hundred bucks, maybe a thousand. I wasn't thrilled about that, but hopefully I'd have my car back up and running by Monday at the latest. I got a call yesterday afternoon from the guy at the auto shop. He asked if I was sitting down. Five hundred, thought I. Five thousand, said he. Five thousand bucks to get a new engine for the car?? Considering how much I spent to get the car in the first place, I don't think the car is even worth saving. That brings me to the thrilling conclusion that I'm going to be without a car for the next little bit and I get to go buy a new car! Woo hoo!! (Sarcasm, people.) I thought I was doing pretty well, financially, but that was back when I thought I had a pretty decent little car that didn't need an oil change for another couple hundred miles. So... Now this has been sprung upon me and my glorious, glorious savings account will likely be depleted by the time I'm done. We'll take a look and see what the options are, but hopefully I can get this taken care of quickly and inexpensively. Any advice would be more than welcome.

Like, seriously.

Saturday was slated to be a big day for me. As I sat on Twitter, as I've been known to do, the hashtag #WaysToGetWomenMad was trending in the United States. I thought I'd give my Two Cents on the matter. @atownmania: #WaysToGetWomenMad Only tweeting about sports and setting aside your whole Saturday aside to watch the #Saints and the #UtahJazz." We start with the New Orleans Saints. It should be no surprise to any of you that I've been a fan for around 12 years at this point and I've been through thick and thin with the team formerly known as "the 'Aints." The tables have turned, however, and Drew Brees has brought the franchise to the top tier of teams in the league. In pursuit of their second Super Bowl championship, the Saints' journey made its way to San Francisco for a road game in the NFC conference semi-finals. The Saints were three-point favorites over the 49ers this weekend, but things got ugly fast as the Saints turned the ball over four times in the first quarter, digging an early hole that would, at times, seem insurmountable. Trailing 23-17 with 7:00 left, things were miraculously still within reach. After a 44-yard pass from Brees to Darren Sproles, the Saints took their first lead of the game with 4:02 to play. We just had to hold them. The 9ers drove down the field within the next two minutes and, despite my pleading and screaming, former Ute Alex Smith scrambled on a bootleg for a 28-yard touchdown scamper. After a failed two-point conversion, San Francisco was back up, 29-24. Just 34 seconds later, a 66-yard pass to Jimmy Graham had me leaping back onto my feet, cheering, and believing that this game was finally, at long last, over. One minute and 37 seconds on the clock. Not nearly enough time for the mediocre 49ers offense to go 80 yards for the winning score. Another big pass from Alex Smith to Vernon Davis and San Francisco was in field goal range. I didn't want the game to go to overtime. I just wanted the game to be over with the Saints triumphant. A few plays later, with nine seconds on the clock, Smith threw a dart through the struggling Saints secondary into the open arms of Davis for a touchdown - the game winner. Thus ends the season for my beloved Saints after an absolute roller coaster of a finish. What a heart breaker. Obviously, I'm not happy with the outcome of the game, but that's what you've got to love about sports. You can't script stuff like that. Four lead changes in the final four minutes of the game. Back and forth, back and forth. I was looking forward to a potential showdown between the Saints and the Green Bay Packers, but that won't be happening now, especially considering that the Packers took a beating at the hands of the New York Giants on Sunday. Misery loves company, as they say, and I did not want the Packers to repeat as champions, so that makes me pretty happy. I'll be cheering for the 49ers now, but I'm by no means a "bandwagon fan." I used to be a big San Francisco fan back in the days of Steve Young and Jerry Rice, so I've at least got some ties there, but, more than anything, I'm happy for Alex Smith, the former number-one pick, who, after leaving the U of U, has struggled to succeed during his NFL career. This year was pretty much Smith's last shot as a starting quarterback in the league, so it's fun to see him finally doing well. I hope they win it all. But let's be honest - anybody betting against the New England Patriots at this point is kidding themselves. We'll see what happens. Gotta love football.

 Dang it to heck. At least he's a Ute.

My sports stress didn't end there on Saturday afternoon. No, no. Saturday night was the return of former Utah Jazz point guard Deron Williams, who was traded mid-season to the New Jersey Nets last year after a post-game argument that ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back - and Jerry Sloan's Hall of Fame coaching career. Once a fan favorite, beloved by all, Deron's short temper, mood swings, and declining motivation became an almost undetectable cancer in the Jazz organization so Kevin O'Connor did one of the relatively few things that I am willing to applaud him for - he shipped the little crybaby off to one of the worst teams in the league for Devin Harris, Derrick Favors, and two draft picks (one of which turned out to be the surprising seven-footer, Enes Kanter). In hindsight, that move was genius and it couldn't have happened any better way. Deron was going to bail on the Jazz as soon as his contract was up, anyway, so it was good that we dealt him with no regard for the plan he was undoubtedly formulating for the future. Deron came to EnergySolutions Arena as a visitor for the first time on Saturday night in what I believed to be one of the most important games of the Jazz's season. I had thought that, of all the games to be at in person, this was the one. I'd Boo Deron until the cows came home. He ran Jerry Sloan out of town and single-handedly put our franchise into instant "rebuilding" mode. Where I come from, that just ain't right. Sadly, I would have to settle for watching the game on TV that night, however, so my family and I were all settled in and ready to Boo from the couch. Earlier that morning, we had switched from Comcast to Dish Network, so we were having a bit of difficulty finding out which channel the game was on. After a bit of investigation, we found the correct channel (or so we thought), but there was a college basketball game on with 8:00 left in the second half. George Mason vs James Madison University. It was a thriller. Absolute thriller. (Absolute sarcasm.) And what made that even more maddening was that they didn't cut away from that game until it was over - and it didn't end until the second quarter of the Jazz game!! So we missed the introductions of the Nets (including another former Jazz player, Mehmet Okur, as well) and the entire first quarter! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? That's P.M.U.!! What the heck is up with that? Apparently this is a recurring issue for Dish Network customers, so... well... That's a bummer. I'm sure my mother and father would gladly join me in inducting Dish Network into this week's Boo Box. Everybody together now - BOOOOOO!! Thankfully, we were able to see 75% of the Jazz-Nets game, where we beat the crap out of New Jersey, Deron, and his four ex-Jazz teammates, and we also caught all of the Jazz-Nuggets game where we beat Denver by 10 IN DENVER. Oh yeah, baby. It's great. I never thought the Jazz would be playing so well after the horrendous start they got off to in the first four games of the season. Good work, boys.

I'll never let go!

So... this cruise ship disaster over in Italy... How tragic! The ship runs aground, tips over, the captain abandons ship and is charged for manslaughter, people are missing... Dang. But - and I don't know if I'm the only jerk in the world that's thinking this - that's sure going to make an awesome movie someday...

So... I'm helping this guy get a new password for his account over the phone today... I generate a random password for him. Case sensitive. There's a number and a symbol. He gets the coolest symbol: $. I continue to spell out the password for him. For instance: "Capital 'C,' as in 'Charlie,'" etc. I get to "lower-case 'H.'" "Lower-case '8'?", he asks. Are you serious?? Have you ever heard of a "lower-case 8"? I should have said yes. Yes. A lower-case 8. Lower-case W. Upper-case 9. Come on, man.


So... last week I spelled "Aflac" wrong. Google mislead me. I was pretty sure it ended in "a-c," but I wasn't positive, so I wanted to check. I mean, how many times in my life have I ever had to spell Aflac? Maybe like once. I went to Google, typed in "A-f...." um... "f... l..." uh..... "e"? and the first thing that popped up was "Afflec Park." Seemed legit. Probably some baseball stadium named after an insurance company. Those types of things happen all the time. Well, apparently it's spelled "A-f-l-a-c." Great. So last week when I said those "Afflec" commercials were increasingly painful, what I technically said was that every time I see Ben or Casey Affleck come on the TV in between my favorite shows, it really pains me. On the inside. Great. I look like a fool in front of all of my readers.


As discussed last week, I have begun an intense schedule of LDS Institute classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. After my first week of classes, I actually really like everything so far. It definitely keeps me busy - on Tuesday, I left at 7:25 in the morning I didn't even get home until 9:15 that night - but I think it will be a great experience. My class on Tuesday nights is "Preparing to Teach Seminary," which basically outlines what I'd need to do (and how I'd need to do it) to make teaching for the Church Educational System a full-time career. I learned a lot of very interesting stuff, like which classes I will need to take in order to become qualified as a seminary teacher (Book of Mormon - Wednesday nights, Doctrines of the Gospel - Thursday nights). Another little fun fact they threw in there is that, in order for me to be hired on as a full-time teacher, I need to be married. So... Looks like I've got 11 months to do so. Hmmm... Here's the program, as outlined for me last Tuesday: I take this class. As part of this class, I will be required to student-teach a 9th grade seminary class for 10 consecutive days. I will be observed during that 10-day experience and, if I am deemed worthy, they will give me a part-time teaching gig in the fall. Upon further examination, if I continue to be a good teacher during that semester, if there are positions available, and if I'm somehow married by that point, they will extend a full-time teaching position to me as a seminary teacher. The teacher explained that there were approximately 60 people in the two "pre-training" classes last week. Of those 60, roughly 25 will end up being hired on full-time. I am not really one to be thrilled by competition in these types of situations. When I ran for Band President at Alta during my senior year, nobody wanted to run against me (true) because they assumed they'd probably lose (true), so they sacrificed two timid flautists to run against me, just to make it official. As much as I would have loved to smash somebody in the elections in a heated race, I was pretty much ok with that. Easier path to glory, right? There were a ton of people in the Tuesday night class. I looked around and judged my competition, merely based on first impressions. There were some I thought looked like they'd be good seminary teachers. There were others who are not qualified for the position for reasons out of their immediate control, like the lack of a bachelor's degree. Those things take time and I don't consider them competition. There were others who just flat out didn't seem like a good fit for the job - like the annoying chick on the piano bench who had an obnoxious response to every question the teacher asked. No offense, but it's not happening. So I think there will be SOME competition for the available full-time teaching spots, come January. But the more I think about it, the less worried I am. I've always loved teaching the Gospel since the early stages of my Spanish-speaking mission the Raleigh, NC. As I learned how to become an effective teacher and learned how to teach in harmony with my companion, I realized that teaching can be really, really fun if you know what you're doing. I came home and held positions in church as a Sunday School teacher and eventually Sunday School President at Snow College, then worked two summers of Especially For Youth in Provo and absolutely loved that, as well. I retired from EFY last year in favor of a steadier, higher-paying job at ZAGG, which, from a monetary standpoint, turned out to be a great choice, but I've really missed teaching in the past year. I haven't taught Sunday School in years. I don't believe I had spoken in church since 2009 when I was in Ephraim. Maybe I spoke once while at the U, but I can't remember it. It had gotten to the point where I was secretly hoping I'd be assigned to be assigned to talk in Sacrament Meeting and always crossed my fingers when getting a new calling, hoping that I'd be chosen as a Gospel Doctrine teacher. No such luck until three weeks ago when they had me speak. I enjoyed it, but I felt out of practice. Even this past Sunday, I sat through another boring Gospel Principles lesson and thought, "I want to teach!" Then I realized that this is what I could do for a living if I play my cards right. I've taken the first few steps down this path and, in the end, the goal is to become a teacher, where I'd have the opportunity to teach every day of the week. That would be AWESOME! I've got the desire, I think I've got a good personality for a seminary teacher (I don't think I'd be boring, anyway), and I've got the experience, knowledge, and skill set to do a pretty good job. It's still early in the journey, but I'm really excited about the new doors that have been opened to me for the months - and hopefully years - to come.


On that note, I've decided that, with the impossible job market in broadcast journalism these days, the best option for me for the time between now and this fall when I'll hopefully be offered a part-time seminary teaching job is to officially come out of retirement from EFY. Again. You may remember that I technically came out of retirement last year after April's General Conference, was hired on as a counselor, but ended up declining all the offers they sent me because I had also been offered a job at ZAGG. Oh yes - You heard it here first, people!... but let's keep this on the down-low for now because I'm still employed at ZAGG, haven't even interviewed at EFY yet, and don't want to be let go for the time being if word gets out that I'm not planning on spending the rest of my life in a call center (as nice as that may sound to some of you). If things go as tentatively planned, I will continue to work for ZAGG for a couple more months, ideally be hired on for the summer at EFY at the end of May (just as I would hit my year-mark at ZAGG), and then start teaching seminary part-time in the fall. Clearly, I'll have to find another part-time job at that point, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I submitted my application to EFY on Sunday night and now it's just a matter of waiting. Hopefully I hear back from them soon and can set up an interview time, at which point they'd honestly be crazy NOT to take me, in whatever capacity it may be. Of course, as always, I'll keep you posted as I find out any more information.


The Shoutout of the Week goes to a man who I'm sure has received many a Shoutout in the past, but I can't quite recall, so I'll just give him another because he deserves it, dang it. There are some critics out there that you always just try to impress. Know what I mean? Take Jim Rome, for instance. Rome, the host of several national sports talk shows, is known for his strong opinion and harsh words toward those who we deems inferior, unintelligent, or unworthy of praise. I like him, personally. I think he does a great job. But when I listen to his show, I always wonder what his interview-ees think when he is impressed with what they have to say. If I were to go on the show, I'd be terrified of coming off uninteresting and failing to impress Mr. Rome. So I imagine that if you hear Jim Rome tell you "great job, great work, good stuff," that's got to be one of the greatest compliments ever. I have a few such readers out there. I'm terrified that they'll think I suck at writing and that they'll grow tired of my ramblings. Compliments and approval from those followers would mean a lot to me. One of those Loyal Subscribers is an old mission buddy, Jordan Holmes. I don't know what it is - maybe I'm just terrified that the incredibly funny Brother Holmes will find me unfunny? - but I never get tired of Jordan's frequent emails that he sends in response to most Issues. Once I open the email and the initial horror of potentially being ripped to shreds or having him point out all my grammatical errors subsides, I really appreciate the feedback that he gives and, for the time being, anyway, he seems to be enjoying what I'm putting out there. So when Jordan Holmes (or Terrance Eckleberry) shows up in my inbox and he tells me to keep up the good work, I know I must be doing something right. Thanks for reading, brother. And... You obviously will never live down my little um... comment at the MTC while trying to speed through a practice lesson with my companion (who was apparently born without a sense of humor)... Well... I'm still trying to overcome those feelings, I promise. It's a struggle. Hope all is well.

Oh, and a quick Shoutout to my mom. Happy birthday this week, Mom.


That's about it for this week! Wow! I'm done at noon this week. Miraculous. Like I said, I didn't get home until really late last Tuesday, so these early Newsletters will probably become pretty common here in the next four months or so as I've tried to start preparing most of the topics on Sunday and Monday for the last two Issues. Remember in the fall when there just wasn't anything exciting going on in my life so I had stuff like "TV Tuesday" and all that good stuff? I kind of miss those themed blogs. But then again it's nice to have stuff happening that I can talk about... until it starts costing me money. Ugh. The older I get, the more that old middle school phrase "Life sucks and then you die" rings true. *shakes head in disbelief* Seems like something like this happens about once a year around this time. Lost my old car in 2010, didn't actually graduate in 2011, and lost my current car in 2011. Dang it to heck. But God bless Tuesday.


Until next Time,

Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!

Aaron