Signs of the Times, Issue No. 159 - 06/07/11

EXTREME Tuesday!!


Greetings to one and all on EXTREME Tuesday here at "Signs of the Times." As I said I would do on Facebook this morning, I am bringing this edition of the Newsletter to you while being suspended upside down over the edge of a steep cliff - because we're going EXTREME and that's how we roll. Topics to be discussed today: Austin's insta-tan, Bye Bye Birdies, The Case of the Accidental Sushi, Five things I'll miss about EFY, and the next step for my little sister. On we go!

So last night I was chatting with my brother, Austin, who is currently in New York City doing summer sales. He sent me this link and asked me to look at this picture: http://tinyurl.com/4xxluz5. I responded, "Wow, you got Black!" No, no, he said. Apparently that bloke on the left stole Austin's shirt!! Um...That's P.M.U.!! Isn't that something a girl would do? But at least the girl would ask to borrow it first, from what I hear. That's just plain weird. I'd never wear another guy's shirt because I thought it looked cool. That's another guy's shirt!! That's sick. And perhaps the dumbest thing of all is that this kid, who apparently is Austin's roommate, took a picture in the shirt and posted it on Facebook!! How stupid can you be?? Hopefully Austin will reacquire his stolen goods soon... and hopefully he'll go EXTREME on that punk with a Kendo stick to his bare back. Boo yah!!

It could... and it did.

I may have previously mentioned the baby birds whose mother made a nest in the barbecue in our backyard. For weeks, we refrained from grilling hamburgers as to not sacrifice the little ones. We'd check on them from time to time to see if they were big enough to leave the nest so we could clean out the barbecue. The other day, my mom went to check the grill and immediately shut the lid and put her hands over her mouth. Cody and I rushed outside to see what the matter was and she informed us that the baby birds were all dead. We quickly confirmed that statement. Sadly, it seems that the nest had grown too large and was partially obscuring the hole in the side of their makeshift home that they used as an entrance. It seems that the mother was able to escape and somehow tried to help the babies escape, but was unsuccessful. Rest in peace, little birdies. It was nice knowing you. We have since cleaned out the grill and will create a wood piece to attach to the barbecue so no other birds nor critters can seek refuge in the fiery tomb.

Sad day.

**QUESTION TIME!!**

Q. "Dear Aaron,

Have you ever Facebooked in your sleep?"

Just Curious,

- The Junior Mounties

A. You know, it's funny you should ask... (SALUTE!) Not that I know of... but... I was attempting to instant message my former co-worker and current friend, Benjamin Bailey, the other day and this popped up as a message I allegedly sent him back on March 3rd... Remember, I have absolutely no recollection of ever sending this. Check it out: "What the... What the?!? I see how it is... Just kidding, man. I've got a killer headache and I'm going to bed anyway. Let me know if you want to go to the game tomorrow. I'll be there... Saving you a seat... Because we are now best friends. Good night, Peter." Um... I'm not sure what the heck that's supposed to mean. So I'm guessing that I was either asleep... or... that wasn't really me talking to Ben. And then my computer exploded into a ball of flames.

Peter?

Q. "Hey A-Town,

Why are you always so sleepy?"

Love,

- The Fan Club

A. Probably because I don't get enough sleep.

Now delve with me into the mysteries of my life. I call this one "The Case of the Accidental Sushi." Indeed this is one of the most extreme adventures I've ever had in my life. You people know me. I'm all about free stuff. So there I was at the store the other day and I heard the free samples man say "something-something-something spicy shrimp something?" "Sure," said I. After sauntering on over and receiving the paper cup in his outstretched hand, I took a glance down to realize that this was no ordinary spicy shrimp - this sucker was SUSHI! I winced. I glanced from side to side, searching for a way to discard the sample without offending its creator. Seeing no possible way out, I took a deep breath, raised the sushi to my lips, and remembered the motto by which I live my life: "At least it will be good for the Newsletter." In the end, it tasted just about how I thought it would: fishy and uncooked. And then I karate chopped somebody.

Sick.

Obviously I'm thinking a lot about EFY this week. If I hadn't turned down my seven weeks of EFY this summer, I would have started work on Sunday night. That means that right now at 10:08 PM, instead of writing my beautiful blog, I could be yelling at boys to put their shirts back on and go to bed. It's silly, but it makes me sad. I'm really going to miss it. In fact, here are the Top Five things I will miss about working EFY this summer:

#5 - Wearing my U of U paraphernalia around Provo!!

I'll never forget walking into my boys' rooms at night with a Utes shirt on and getting booed and having things thrown at me. That's a love with which only children could love their father. And I was their father.

#4 - The kiddos!!

Speaking of being their father, I'll miss being around the kids. They were so great. I'll never forget the kid who stuck his hand underneath his door into the hallway late one night. I politely stomped on it as a reminder that it was past his bedtime. Or how about all those kids that are worshipping me in my current Facebook profile picture? I don't think I knew any of them... but they sure knew how to pick out the most stylish man at all of EFY. Headband. Arm sleeve. Oh yeah. And how about the kid who refused to call me "father" during my first week as a counselor. I addressed him as my son and I asked him to respond accordingly. He refused all week and instead called me "Double A"... you know... like a battery. Needless to say, by the end of the week, his parting words to me included the name "father" at least twice. We remain close Facebook friends to this day. I love my EFY children.

#3 - Flirting with all the ladies!!

At EFY, nobody flirted with the lady counselors more than A-Town. Ok, maybe that's not entirely true. But I tried. I tried hard, dang it. And I failed miserably each and every time. How I'll miss those days.

#2 - The dances!!

Tuesday nights and Friday nights, all the little EFYers head to the dance dance floor to shake their groove groove thangs. Over the past two summers I have successfully taught what my children affectionately came to call "The Aaron Dance" to hundreds and hundreds of participants and counselors. The dances gave me a chance to either hang back and watch the silly children dance their little hearts out or join them myself in the middle of the floor. The dances were always the activities where I believe the kids bonded the most and I will truly miss seeing that transformation from shy, quiet kids to one solidified group each week.

#1 - My radio show!!

One of the greatest things about my summer last year was the opportunity to work as a Building Counselor, or "BC" - basically a counselor for the counselors. BCs get to carry around walkie talkies every day in case something crazy goes down and they need to be contacted immediately. I, however, was used to using radios for a different reason. I quickly established a morning "radio show," featuring celebrity birthdays, the word of the day, On This Day in History, the weather forecast, sports updates, and commercials provided by a wide variety of different counselors. Not only was the radio show a blast for me to do, but it was also a way to keep up my skills for college radio, and, most importantly, it was a way for me to involve the other counselors in a fun, stress-relieving activity at the start of each morning. That was a great way for my BC team to bond. I truly believe that the radio show helped us become a stronger, more tightly-knit team... and I know the other BC teams were totally jealous. Occasionally imitated, never duplicated. Long live the KBJAMBERS!

Cannon Cannon Cannon Cannon... Center Center Center Center...

Finally, it's time for the Shoutout of the Week. This week, the recipient is my sister Amy, who graduated from high school today. Congratulations, sister, on this great accomplishment. Now you move on to the bigger and better things in life - SNOW COLLEGE!! YES!!!! You are following in the footsteps of greatness, my dear... the footsteps of A-TOWN!! My advice to you, however, is not to follow in my footsteps. Create your own adventure this fall. Go down to the mountains of Ephraim and find your own excitement. Create your own fun. Make friends with everyone. And make every day memorable. Again, congratulations. Now go do a backflip out of a helicopter into a swimming pool filled with dolphins.

Go get 'em.

That's about it for this late-nite EXTREME Tuesday edition of "Signs of the Times." Sorry I finished this up so late, but I've been a busy, busy, busy man today. Hope you all Felt Good About Yourselves today and I hope you're living the EXTREME (but morally-conscious) life!

Until next Time,

Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!

Aaron