Signs of the Times, Issue No. 37 - 12/16/08

"iwtmlttrtotewbidciwtbc"


Greetings to one and all from Sandy, UT. For those of you who still think you love snow (as in the moisture - not the school), just imagine this - I have already shoveled the driveway twice today and will probably have to do it at least one more time. Mmmmmhmmmmmm! I love, love, love it! Topics to be discussed today: Back to the Future, continuous wallowing, fall semester's Top Five, virtual reality, Santa, and the the Assassins' last chance. On we go!


'Tis true, 'tis true. I'm done with school for the semester. Finals Week was basically one of the greatest weeks of my life, needless to say. My sense of time has been somewhat skewed since Tuesday was basically my last day of school. I can't really remember when Friday was, so it seems like I missed a week or something, but after consulting my trusty Signs of the Times filing cabinet, I remember where I left off.

We had a Back to the Future marathon on Wednesday afternoon. Many people of high repute in society were in attendance, including, but not limited to, my roommate, Brady; Vanessa Young; and the Manly Men of the KAGE's "The Manly Show." We started at four in the afternoon and finished all three movies in five hours and forty five minutes, so we made some good time there. It amazed me to see how foreshadowing those movies were. I had forgotten a lot of stuff - give me a break, I haven't seen them in three years - but if you watch the first fifteen minutes of the first movie, you pretty much know what's going to happen for the rest of the five and a half hours. Comedic genius. That's all I have to say. Comedic genius.

On Wednesday night, my roommies and I gave in. We set out to WalMart and obtained the highly lucrative and highly sought after Rock Band 2. Honestly, we mostly got it because Guitar Hero: World Tour was apparently sold out for PS3. Anyhoo, it's a dang good time. I currently have it in my possession, being as I'm the only one with a Playstation, so if you're interested in trying it out, let me know. Playing the drums all by myself while I wait for Amy and Cody to get back from school is only so entertaining for so long. Actually, I could probably play all day, but it's more fun with other people. I smell a New Year's Eve bash for single people...

As we look back on the semester past, let us reflect on, shall we say, five highlights from the last fifteen weeks. In random order, here they are:

WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY: I already talked about it in this Issue and in the last one, so I'm not going to say a whole lot. But seriously, for anybody out there who feels abandoned by pretty much everyone else in the universe who is getting married - to everyone who got dumped at least once this semester - to anyone who found out that you're "Number Eleven," if you know what I mean - I highly recommend that you wallow in self-pity. And not just for a moment, either. Feel Bad About Yourself for an entire week and then you will realize the true beauties of life. Like seeing Christopher Lloyd's amazing hair flip in the first ten minutes of BTTF III. Man, that's amazing stuff.

"CITY COUNCIL," SEASON TWO: Season Two of my radio show was a huge success. I would even call it more successful than Season One. Believe me - I made a CD, compiling each KAGE Match Champion, both theme songs, the potential theme song, the ending song, and other favorites from this semester and it blows my mind away. I rocked out to it in my car the entire way back from Ephraim on Friday morning and it was quite enjoyable. "City Council" w/ A-Town, Season Three will feature former KAGE Match Champions from 2005 and 2008 in mortal combat to determine who the real Champion is, so check it out next semester for all the heat in Sanpete.

DATING LIFE DWINDLES: Let's see... What has happened to me this semester? Ah yes. Stalkers, psychotic girls with serious mental issues, being told (right to my face) by someone that they would never marry me and that they don't like returned missionaries, trying to date someone who schedules a different date right before mine and then ends up cancelling on me, and becoming "Number Eleven." Oh yeah, baby. It's all been done this semester. It's a depressing, depressing life. Then, on top of that, watching several friends get engaged, seeing a mission companion who got home after me get married in less than four months, and even having my own brother get engaged. Man. Luckily, I'm not the only one who's not getting hitched right now, so I don't feel as bad as I did initially - I confirmed it yesterday on Facebook, so it must be true. Seriously, though, it's stuff like this that makes me want to dig a hole and crawl in it... Or start wearing sweaters, writing screenplays, and listening to classical guitar while living in my log cabin. Alone. Either way.

COMMUNISTS ON CAMPUS: By the way, did I mention that I donated to the Salvation Army? I think I did. But I still think Jacob Christensen is a bonehead.

ROOMMATE TROUBLE: What would this semester have been if it weren't for my amazing roommates? I probably wouldn't be so blasted skinny because I would have been able to actually eat in the kitchen after having prepared a real meal, instead of eating granola bars and licorice in my room all day. Maybe I would have had a decent social life for the first two months of college. There would have been one less person in our fantasy football league - and we all know that would have been nice. And I probably wouldn't have bought Rock Band or watched Hook. Wow. That would have been a sweet semester. I bet they're still wondering how the management found out that there was a cat in the apartment. "Do you think they have hidden cameras?" No. They don't have hidden cameras.

**QUESTION TIME!!**


Q. "Dear Aaron,
What do you think about phrases such as 'lol' or 'brb'? You know, Internet emotions and stuff..."
- Just Curious,
The Junior Mounties

A. You know, it's funny you should ask. I was just thinking about that this morning as I was shoveling snow, believe it or not. (SALUTE!) Honestly, I hate emotions such as "lol" (laughing out loud) and "brb" (be right back). Why can't people write out the whole thing?? Or just write "haha," for C.O.L. (crying out loud) Huh?? How about that? How about "t...w...1...f..." (typing with one finger)? Or "idwttty" (I don't want to talk to you)? How about "iwtmlttrtotewbidciwtbc" (it would take me less time to really type out the entire word but I don't care, I want to be cool)? I'm just saying... However, I must admit, I use the occasional "lol," but it pains me to do so.


Q. "Dear Aaron,
Do you believe in Santa?"
- Just Curious,
The Junior Mounties

A. Man, you guys again? I love you guys! (SALUTE!) Here's the deal. Heck yeah, I do! In this world we currently live in, I'm surprised that so few people still believe. In times of economic dismay, isn't that what we need? I big, jolly man who brings around free presents? Plus, he's a snazzy dresser, which is a plus. He has good taste in snacks, he works with little elves all day (I bet that's an adventure), and the guy can squeeze down chimneys. That's sweet. I like Santa. I think he should be around all season long, not just at Christmastime. So to answer your Question, not only is the the dang man, but I also do believe in him. My stocking is hung by the chimney with care and I'll leave some cookies out for the guy. I would hope that if I ever slid down somebody's chimney in the middle of the night that they'd at least have the decency to thank me for it. ...Wait a second...


You can submit your holiday Questions to me by emailing me at tarheelglory19@yahoo.com. Also be sure to vote for the poll at http://www.signsofthetimesnewsletter.blogspot.com/.


The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to... J.D. Lloyd, a man among men, to be sure. plus, I just want to know if he's still alive.


The Fantasy Football Superstar of the Week goes to Phillip Rivers of the Aggies!!, who have pretty much cemented their place in the annals of time as the best team in the league. Rivers' 346 throwing yards for 2 TDs and 54 Fantasy Points led the Aggiess!! to another league-leading week, putting them 33.50 Points ahead of second-place Gridlock and 106.00 ahead of my A-Town Assassins. It's time to pull out all the stops if Cody is to be beaten this season...


Well, that's about it for this week. I Feel an Issue in rhyme on the horizon. Those were always pretty popular back in the day.

Until next Time,

Move It. Sell It. And keep a snow shovel handy.

Aaron