Greetings to one and all from Ephraim, Utah. It's Finals Week, everyone! Hooray! Topics to be discussed today: the "City Council" Season Two finale, P-Dub's debut, the YouTube ban, future fatherhood, sign speculation, the free agent frenzy, a national championship in the balance, and wallowing in self-pity. For the last time of Fall Semester, on we go!
Tonight will be the season finale for "City Council" w/ A-Town, Season Two. Last week featured the highly anticipated KAGE Match Finals, in which Coldplay knocked John Mayer's block off, 17-8, crowning them as 2008's Undisputed KAGE Match Champions of the World. Tonight's show will feature a recap of the entire season, featuring music from all eight Champions from Fall Semester and A-Town will reveal his Christmas list! Admit it - you won't want to miss that! Check it out tonight from 10PM - midnight only on the KAGE, 89.5 FM in Sanpete County or online at www.snow.edu/~kage. If you don't have time to listen live, head over to www.snow.edu/~kage/kageresults.html for a webpage devoted entirely to this season's KAGE Matches!
In other KAGE news, Parker Wightman and I guest starred on arguably the most popular radio show at Snow College, "The Jake and Dave Show," last Thursday night. The show, which gives weekly dating advice, was a bit of stretch for me, considering the decade-long string of bad luck I've had with women. We had a good time, though. Jake and Dave are hilarious. P-Dub did a good job, too. I was impressed with the finesse and tact displayed in his radio debut. Thanks to Jake and Dave, I didn't go home empty handed. They kept telling girls to call in if they wanted a date with A-Town, so I got a girl's phone number out of it, at least. We'll see how that goes.
Jake and Dave had previously recorded a promo for their show using a sound clip of my voice and my theme music from "City Council" to promote their two special guests for last week. I found the promo quite hilarious, in all honesty, but I went on the show and accused them of breaching my privacy and demonstrating a lack of journalistic integrity, then presented them with a thirty second spot of my own, in which I mocked their original promos and encouraging people to listen to "City Council." I believe the segment went over pretty well and the feedback that I have received since Thursday has been overwhelmingly positive. But if you caught any of the show, you probably know that, more than anything else, I was just happy to be there. Check out Jake and Dave's blog at http://www.jakendaveshow.blogspot.com/. It's good. Much better than mine.I've really gone and done it now. I got an email yesterday from YouTube.com informing me that "The Big Ticket 2: Theatrical Trailer" has been blocked from their website because of a so-called music copyright infringement. Uh... sure... I know what it really is. They're afraid that if The Big Ticket gets too Big, we'll take over the world. The crazy thing is, they're probably right. If there's anything I can do about it, you'll be seeing "The Big Ticket 2" as soon as early January. It's gonna be good. And it's gonna be Big. Mannheim Steamroller and Mason Williams should be proud that I featured them in the Theatrical Trailer. Maybe I'll give them the shaft in the actual movie. Numbskulls.
It's Finals Week here at Snow College. That's right - everyone is worried about how many tests they have to take, how many they have already taken, and how many everyone else is taking. I don't see why people get so worried about it. Maybe I'm desensitized by now. I had three tests in three different classes twice this semester, so having a lot of tests in a short period of time is no big deal to me. There are much more distressing things in life to complain about. Like my dating life.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Dear A-Town,
Do you realize that you have now been home long enough that, if you had married immediately when you returned, you could be a father?"
- StePiNaNNy
A. Well, "StePiNaNNy, sadly, not everyone is as on-top-of-it as you are. Anyway, I suppose I'll answer your Question by explaining what my roommates and I are doing this week. As is obvious, I've had quite the string of bad luck, as far as women go, and this last week was no exception. I know you all want the juicy details, but that ain't gonna happen, folks. It sufficeth to say that on Friday night, a date fell through for somewhat suspect reasons and I was left to sulk all alone in my room. I finally decided to pop in Mission: Impossible 3, eat half a bag (and a two-pound bag, at that) of licorice, and wallow in self pity for the rest of the night. In the wake of no-date depression, I contemplated conceding to a life of celibacy, but after thinking about that for a few minutes, I decided against it and came up with a better alternative. I am going to start wearing sweaters every day - sweater vests, cardigans, you name it - writing screenplays, and listening to classical guitar. I plan on doing so inside a log cabin, where I will reside by myself, completely alone, until I have saved up enough money for an early retirement. It will be a good life. I have had several people ask if they can come visit me, to which I quickly responded, "No. Absolutely not." I will, however, have a mailbox a mile away from my cabin where you can drop Christmas fruitcakes or things of a like nature.
Q. "You know how they have those signs that say 'Do Not Step on the Grass'? How do those signs get there?"
- Cody
A. That's a good Question. I would tell you this - that it probably depends on how far inward the sign has been placed. It also depends on how picky the homeowner is. If the sign is placed close to the sidewalk/driveway/road, there is a good chance that whoever put the sign there did not, in fact, have to step on the grass themselves in order to put it there. However, if there is a sign in the middle of the grass, more than a hop, skip, or jump from anything non-grass-ish, I'm betting that they don't really care if people step on their grass that much, as they would have somehow needed to traverse the lawn before posting their warning. Therefore, if the sign is more than four feet away from the sidewalk, I give you permission to walk across the lawn without the owner's consent. See how they like that.
Q. "Hey, I have some Questions for you!
How far are the Jazz going to go this year? And how different of a team will they be after next year's free agent frenxy? Will the Jazz drop Boozer in search of someone greater? [i.e. Dwight Howard, Paul Peirce, or even the legendary Aaron Christensen? (I doubt he'd want to come to Utah!)]"
- Much Love,
Roberto
A. Well, Berto, Here's the deal. I can see the Jazz making the playoffs again this year. I'd say, if we can get healthy, we could potentially make it to the Western Conference Finals. However, I think the Lakers will make it to the Finals against Boston again this year. ESPN is already saying that we should fast forward to June so we can see them in the Finals. They're not giving anybody a chance... and if ESPN says it, it must be true. (Extreme sarcasm, by the way... My faith in ESPN is lessening with every Kobe highlight and video clip of LeBron in an Obama shirt - BIAS!) The Jazz will remain roughly the same team after the free agent frenzy. The only players I can see the Jazz dealing away would be Morris Almond, Andrei, or one of our big men on the IR (Fesenko, Collins). The Jazz will not get a big-name player like Howard or Pierce because Utah is small market and it apparently smells funny. As far as my NBA dreams are concerned, I think I'm fairly satisfied with NBA 2K9 on my Playstation. I would fight too much and there really isn't room in the league right now for another Ron Artest, if you know what I mean.
The Snow College Badgers played in the National Junior College Football Championship at Rio Tinto Stadium in Sandy last Saturday. I was in attendance with several close friends, so to speak. This really is a very long story, so if you want to hear me get really upset, call me and ask me about it. Here's the deal - We go into double overtime, right? Right. Up to this point in the game, we had blocked three of Butler Community College (Kansas)'s kicks, so when we held the Grizzlies on third down at the five yard line, everybody in the crowd was shouting "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!" If we blocked the kick, all we'd have to do would be kick a field goal of our own and we would win the national championsip. "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!" Lo, and behold, it's a bad snap - I could tell immediately - and WE BLOCKED IT! Pandemonium ensued in the Snow section! The championship was at hand! But then several purple-clad Grizzlies began to celebrate - had they recovered the ball? Was that even possible?? Sure enough, they had recovered the ball in the endzone, giving them six points and an eventual seventh. We took over the ball with our final chance to score and force a third overtime. On the first play, we threw an interception. The crowd was stunned. How could we have blocked the kick and lost the game? It didn't make sense. Apparently, one of our players touched the ball, thus making it a live ball, and a Butler player jumped on the ball inside the endzone. That was one of the strangest, most shocking, and utterly disappointing endings I have ever seen in all of collegiate (or even professional) sports - We were seconds away from a national championship and those little punks rip it away from us on a lucky recovery in the endzone!! We gave them a national championship. I'm still sick about it. And I drove back to Ephraim with road rage.
In honor of the many depressing things that happened this week, two of my roommates and I are holding a week-long "Wallowing in Self-Pity Party." It's a good life. On Saturday, I got back from the football game and complained about that for a while, then whined about Friday night, then they also shared bad dating stories which have recently come to pass. Later on in the night, we watched "Hook," which I hadn't seen in a coon's age. On Sunday night, we made a cake, which would have been better if we didn't put the frosting on so soon. Last night we watched the new Hulk movie while I copied ALL of my personal finance notes as small as I could onto a sheet of paper (that will come in handy in about half an hour, believe me). (I still think Edward Norton is a scrawny punk, by the way.) Tonight I'm not sure what we'll do since I'll be studying for my chemistry final for tomorrow and hosting the season finale of "City Council," but it looks like we've got a Back to the Future marathon and a Madden tournament set up for Wednesday and Thursday. Being single never felt so good. Well... Maybe I take that back. But seriously, wallowing in self-pity can be pretty enjoyable if you have enough time and resources.
The Fantasy Football Superstar of the Week goes to Antonio Bryant, whose 200 receiving yards, 2 TDs, and 36 Fantasy Points led Gridlock to a league leading performance of 193.00 Fantasy Points as a team this week.
The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to Tyson Hinde, Amy Christensen, and my mom. At least we played a lot better in the second half, right? I mean, the game was pretty good, overall. But seriously, if you guys hadn't been there, I would have helped that old drunk man storm the field and we probably would have been arrested. So... Thanks.
Finally, I suppose I should mention that the Blog Site has gotten a virtual makeover, so it's looking pretty spiffy now, as you can clearly tell, since you're here.. The colors have changed, the template is different, and, most importantly, it's now INTERACTIVE! There will be periodic polls featured on the site, so be sure to check that out! This week's poll allows you Loyal Subscribers to vote for the name of my radio show for next semester! Should I call it "City Council" w/ A-Town, Season Three? How about "City Council" w/ A-Town: Tournament of Champions? And last, but not least, how do you like "Heroes of 'City Council'"? Look on the right side of the screen... and if you can't see it... maybe something is wrong...
Well, that's about it for this week. Only one final to go now, so wish me luck, peeps. I'll hit you up next Tuesday when I'm back in Sandy for a couple weeks! Hasta luego, chavitos.
Until next Week,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
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