Oh golly, I sure do hope the women's gymnastics team wins tonight!
Greetings to one and all. My name is Aaron and welcome to my humble abode. It's an Olympic Tuesday here on Earth and I suppose I'll start typing some stuff for you all to ponder for the next six days. Topics to be discussed today: the fabled six-day weekend, online Olympic spoilers, Jordan Holmes' day in the sunlight, #ATownOlympicEvents, and a few other sentences and phrases in semi-paragraph form. On we go!
I'm fresh off of my illustrious six-day weekend and, let's just say... it was one of the most glorious weeks of my life. I honestly didn't do a whole lot because nobody else had time off on most of those days and, to be honest, of the people that were likely available to do things during that week, the odds of them actually doing anything with me are slim to none. So, with that being said, I had a ton of fun alone and with my family. It was wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that I may or may not have pulled a Darth Vader and yelled "NOOOOOOOOOO!" at my alarm clock yesterday morning when it went off at 5:50 in the blessed AM. Let me recap my extended weekend. Indeed, this is your literal Week in Review:
Monday - Went to a Bees game with my family. The weather was great. The Bees ended up winning. The only run of the game was scored by Salt Lake after the Fresno pitcher balked with a man on third.
Tuesday - I Felt Good About Myself. Tuesday was Pioneer Day, so I watched "17 Miracles" and wrote a DVD review that nobody read. I wrote the blog, which ended up being unpredictably short, but whatever. Then I watched the lame "Love in the Wild" finale (lame season), followed by the best episode in the history of "America's Got Talent." It was beautiful.
Wednesday - On Wednesday, I think I mostly stayed home and played Rock Band by myself. That night, I went to the LDS Institute forum, where I listened to a guest speaker and was given some very bad advice by an associate. She said (and I quote), "You could be cool if you tried. The problem is that you don't try." ...What kind of advice is that?! Like, who says that to people? I wish I would have come back with a snarky comment, but I had nothing. After some thinking, I think all the people I know that have to try to be cool aren't really that cool at all. I think William Banks III put it best when he said, "Sounds like an awesome person not to hang out with."
Thursday - On Thursday, I think I swept the floor in my tile-floored bathroom. This is, I think, the dustiest house I've ever lived in. It was necessary. Believe me. I also bought new windshield wiper blades that day, so that was exciting. Stake softball was canceled due to Pioneer Day (I don't get it), so that was a bummer. I stayed home and played video games, instead. Then, that night, Cody had to go run a mile. I voluntarily went out and ran with him. I'm still sore.
Friday - On Friday afternoon, I went to the DMV to get my motorcycle endorsement. I had to sit there with all those weirdos for like an hour before they called my number so I could go take a closed-book test that I didn't know I had to take. I failed it. Twice. That evening was dominated by the Olympic opening ceremony. Holy heck, that thing was long. Additionally, my family had our annual "Fireworks Wars," which my fort endured masterfully. There are pictures all over Facebook.
Saturday - Saturday was probably my busiest day of the six-day weekend. I started the morning off by waking up early and going to the gym, immediately after which I went and saw "The Dark Knight Rises" for the second time. I went with Amy and Cody, who hadn't seen it before. It was just as good the second time. Once that was over, I went home for like half an hour and then, at long last, made my way over to redeem my voucher for a free 90-minute massage. Oh yeah, baby. And then my worst fear came true - the masseuse was a man. (All those sit-ups for NOTHING?!?) After the massage, I went home and showered to get all the oil off of my body before making a rare appearance at a stake activity. There was one kid there that stole the show - some total nerd guy (Cody would call him a "lurp") that was dancing the night away. He was the only one that was dancing. And it was hilarious. I recorded a couple five-second videos of him on my phone. I'm telling you. Hilarious.
Monday - Went to a Bees game with my family. The weather was great. The Bees ended up winning. The only run of the game was scored by Salt Lake after the Fresno pitcher balked with a man on third.
Tuesday - I Felt Good About Myself. Tuesday was Pioneer Day, so I watched "17 Miracles" and wrote a DVD review that nobody read. I wrote the blog, which ended up being unpredictably short, but whatever. Then I watched the lame "Love in the Wild" finale (lame season), followed by the best episode in the history of "America's Got Talent." It was beautiful.
Wednesday - On Wednesday, I think I mostly stayed home and played Rock Band by myself. That night, I went to the LDS Institute forum, where I listened to a guest speaker and was given some very bad advice by an associate. She said (and I quote), "You could be cool if you tried. The problem is that you don't try." ...What kind of advice is that?! Like, who says that to people? I wish I would have come back with a snarky comment, but I had nothing. After some thinking, I think all the people I know that have to try to be cool aren't really that cool at all. I think William Banks III put it best when he said, "Sounds like an awesome person not to hang out with."
Thursday - On Thursday, I think I swept the floor in my tile-floored bathroom. This is, I think, the dustiest house I've ever lived in. It was necessary. Believe me. I also bought new windshield wiper blades that day, so that was exciting. Stake softball was canceled due to Pioneer Day (I don't get it), so that was a bummer. I stayed home and played video games, instead. Then, that night, Cody had to go run a mile. I voluntarily went out and ran with him. I'm still sore.
Friday - On Friday afternoon, I went to the DMV to get my motorcycle endorsement. I had to sit there with all those weirdos for like an hour before they called my number so I could go take a closed-book test that I didn't know I had to take. I failed it. Twice. That evening was dominated by the Olympic opening ceremony. Holy heck, that thing was long. Additionally, my family had our annual "Fireworks Wars," which my fort endured masterfully. There are pictures all over Facebook.
Saturday - Saturday was probably my busiest day of the six-day weekend. I started the morning off by waking up early and going to the gym, immediately after which I went and saw "The Dark Knight Rises" for the second time. I went with Amy and Cody, who hadn't seen it before. It was just as good the second time. Once that was over, I went home for like half an hour and then, at long last, made my way over to redeem my voucher for a free 90-minute massage. Oh yeah, baby. And then my worst fear came true - the masseuse was a man. (All those sit-ups for NOTHING?!?) After the massage, I went home and showered to get all the oil off of my body before making a rare appearance at a stake activity. There was one kid there that stole the show - some total nerd guy (Cody would call him a "lurp") that was dancing the night away. He was the only one that was dancing. And it was hilarious. I recorded a couple five-second videos of him on my phone. I'm telling you. Hilarious.
Sunday - The day of rest. And lots of church meetings. And thus ended my beautiful six-day weekend.
If my online acquaintances were more interactive with my posts on social media, I think I would start posting crazier poll questions. Like what clothes I should wear. And then I'd actually wear those clothes. That would be fun.
If I could award one medal for the London Olympics, I would happily award NBC broadcasters the gold medal for horrible commentary. Some of this stuff is just laughable.
There are only a couple bad things about the Olympics: NBC commentary, online spoilers, and the haircuts of the Russian gymnasts. Seriously, though. I hate tape delay. What is the point in even watching the Olympics when you already know what's going to happen? Well, I guess it has been rather attention-grabbing to watch the Americans' monumental collapses in swimming and gymnastics. I suppose this Olympics, I've shifted my mindset from "I wonder who will win!" to "I wonder how we'll blow this lead!" I guess that has been kind of exciting. Really, though. Why are there so many blatent online spoilers? Why can't they just do it the way they used to? Show a picture of an Olympian and say "Click here to get Olympics results." Now it's just, like, "Jordyn Wieber fails to qualify" all over any website I go to. Thanks a lot! I'm sure that was a very touching moment if you were watching it live. "Poor girl! She's not moving on to the all-around! So sad!" I wasn't sad. Didn't shed a single tear. Because I knew she didn't qualify like 10 hours before the event was aired on NBC. Here's an idea - why can't everybody just switch to Mountain Time for the next two weeks? That way I won't have to stay up late every night, I won't have to watch stuff on tape delay, and nobody will be able to spoil the Olympic medal winners for me. Huh? Huh?? Or maybe people could just stop posting spoilers. I guess that would be easier, probably.
Spoiler alert.
I'm excited about our Guest Blogger this week. Here comes Jordan Holmes, an old mission buddy with the biggest glasses I've ever seen. Take it away, brother!:
"So after having many internal debates over when I should throw my hat in the ring as a potential guest blogger, I finally did it on a whim this week. I hope I can live up to the standards set by past guest bloggers. Here goes nothing...
I know it's on the minds of many lately, so I guess the Olympics is a great place to start. I'm sure that our illustrious A-Town will be covering it already, but I have a few insights into it, too. My cousin, Russell Holmes, a former All-American at BYU, is currently playing volleyball in jolly old England for the United States. It has added an extra bit of 'Go Team USA' for me and my family, and it's fun to see him on TV. The best part of it all is seeing that there is a #russellholmes hashtag on Instagram and it seems to consist of a lot of young women posting photos and swooning over him. It's hilarious. Another thing I have noticed is the need for Olympic dodgeball. I mean, come on, there is badminton and ping pong, why not a 3-on-3 dodgeball played on a volleyball-sized court. That would get huge ratings.
Now that my children are starting to get older, I have noticed that my wife and I rarely have any control over what is on our TV. My Netflix history is filled with 'My Little Pony' and 'Yo Gabba Gabba' and 'Strawberry Shortcake' and the like. And I can't remember the last time my XBOX was used for something other than playing DVDs and other assorted videos for my daughters. I guess that's either a sign that I have grown up or that my kids watch too much TV.
Summer is too hot. Running the A/C is too expensive. I want to enjoy a delicious soup but it's too dang hot to do so.
I can't thing of anything else to say. I guess it is time to end this and go eat a burger at Red Robin. YUMMM!"
- Jordan Holmes
There's the man. On the right.
'Atta boy, Brother Holmes! Long live the MTC: Class of '06! You know, speaking of would-be Olympic events, I took to Twitter for the rarely-used segment, Hashtag Mania earlier today. Not a lot of participation, but I love Hashtag Mania, dang it, and I had fun, so whatever. Here is the list of #ATownOlympicEvents:
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Speed dating
@gabbygayle19: #ATownOlympicEvents: Cherry Nibs Toss
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Movie marathon
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Fantasy weight lifting
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Hair spiking
@gabbygayle19: #ATownOlympicEvents: Javelin catching
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Bargain shopping
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Pro wrestling
@krispixkay: #ATownOlympicEvents: Rock Band Relay
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Unfriending
@gabbygayle19: #ATownOlympicEvents: Tweeting
@krispixkay: #ATownOlympicEvents: Scooter Racing
@crackalacka22: #ATownOlympicEvents: Scooter 100m ride
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Job hunting
@atownmania: #ATownOlympicEvents: Suspended, inverted piano playing #WWWYKI
@totally_psyched: #ATownOlympicEvents: Extreme Dishwashing
From the vault of Things-I'm-Not-Blogging-About, how 'bout that Chik-fil-a controversy? Let me just ask one Question - So, it's a free country for liberals to enforce their beliefs on others, but is it not a free country for people whose views oppose the liberals'? I don't understand.
It's time for the Shoutout of the Week. This week, the Shoutout goes to Mr. Jake Rands, a fellow ex-EFYer. Though he's a Chicago Bulls fan, he remains a Loyal Subscriber week after week and that, in and of itself, is almost enough for me to forgive him for his allegiance to Michael Jordan. Happy Tuesday to you, sir.
That's about it for this week, kiddos. I don't have anything else to say. It was a very busy day for me at work (more on that next week, probably, one way or another), then I was greeted by the squealing voice of my nephew, Joshua. After a little time with Uncle A-Town, we had dinner and now I'm busy watching the Olympic events that I already know the events for. So... I think I'll just post this now and be done with it. Maybe one day all you whiners that think my blog is too long for your poor little eyes will look back on these past two Issues and thank me. All right! I'm out of here. Take it easy, children.
Until next Time,
Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.
Aaron
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