Signs of the Times, Issue No. 174 - 09/20/11

The weather isn't the only thing that's cooling down...

Greetings to one and all. My name is Aaron and this is my Newsletter. What a weekend it's been, my friends. What a weekend, indeed. Plenty to talk about today, as usual. Topics to be discussed: the Holy War, the battle of the egos, and what I won't be doing on Friday. On we go!

**QUESTION TIME!!**

Q. "Wasn't there something big Saturday night you could write about?"

- Scott Aylett

A. Of course, Scott, you're referring to the Holy War, the annual football game between the University of Utah and Brigham Young University. Truly, this is one of the most anticipated and most heated sporting events in the state of Utah each year. This year, the game was played in the third week of the football season, as opposed to its traditional time, right around Thanksgiving as the final game of the regular season. This year's game had no implications for conference championships since the two teams have recently gone down different paths: the Utes to the PAC-12 and BYU as an independent for football. This changes the future of the rivalry for the foreseeable future. In fact, it seemed like many people didn't even really realize that it was rivalry week last week, which was disappointing. Heading into the game, BYU and Utah had both been coming off of heartbreaking losses to Texas and USC, respectively, and both local teams' offenses had struggled thus far through the season. Fans had hopes of either offense breaking out in the rivalry game or a defensive struggle, considering both teams' defenses had been strong in the first two games.

I believe I speak for all level-headed sports fans when I say that nobody predicted what happened on Saturday night. According to poll voters on the blog site, five of you predicted that BYU would win in a close game and I was the only person to pick Utah, saying they'd win a close game. Within two minutes of the opening kickoff, BYU was setting the tone for the rest of the game, fumbling the ball into their own endzone and giftwrapping seven points for the Utes. This would be a recurring theme throughout Saturday night's showdown. The Cougars coughed the ball up an incredible seven times during regulation. Many of these costly turnovers came from within either 20 yardline, either giving the Utes the ball in the redzone or stopping BYU a few feet short of the goal line. With the Utes on the board within minutes of the game's commencement, this game looked like it was all Utah's for the taking. However, as the Utes' offense struggled on any drives that didn't start with a turnover in the first half, BYU took a 10-7 lead with three minutes to go before halftime. Admittedly, I was pretty worried at that point. Despite BYU's three turnovers in the first quarter, it looked like this was going to be a close game just like everyone expected. With a late touchdown drive right before the half, the Utes regained the lead, 14-10. Even at that point, I couldn't have fathomed that the Utes would come out and absolutely embarrass BYU in the second half, winning 54-10. Despite Jake Heaps' insistence that the Utah offense didn't do anything impressive, other than a drive or two, the second half felt like mishap after mishap for BYU and 40-yard gallop after 62-yard run for the Utes. It got to the point where it just wasn't fun to watch - especially since there were three female BYU fans in the room with me, Austin, and my dad, each of us adorned (and rightfully so) in crimson.

I feel, to a certain extent, that the BYU/Utah game is the one game each year that I'm not allowed to celebrate if the Utes win. Of course I was cheering for the Utes, but after beating BYU - and especially after putting on a beatdown like the one on Saturday - I feel like I have two options: 1) celebrate the victory and offend every extended family member and each citizen of Utah County or 2) keep my mouth shut. As many of you undoubtedly noticed, I took to Facebook after the game and exclaimed my utter joy at the outcome by saying, "Well, that was largely unexpected. Woo." That's typically about all I can get away with. On the other hand, if it was BYU beating Utah by 44, I'm sure you all would have let me have it. That's P.M.U.!!

In the end, it was a great night for the Utes, a bad night for the Cougars, and an even worse night for the history of the rivalry. As if many Utah fans didn't already think that BYU didn't belong on the same field as the Utes... I'm not one of those fans. I'm about the tradition, people. BYU/Utah is one of the nation's most underrated rivalries. It divides families in the state and really gets people worked up. As I explained a couple weeks ago, I'm all about preserving the rivalry. A 44-point, 7-turnover blowout wasnot what we needed. Anyway, good win for the Utes. Can't wait for their next game in two weeks. As for BYU, I'm glad to get the rivalry game out of the way because now it really doesn't matter to me as a Utah fan how they do. Therefore, I'm free to cheer for them as I please. I hope they bounce back this Friday and I honestly hope they can turn their season around and end up with a respectable record. You're welcome, Utah County. At least the one thing we can all be grateful for is that the weather isn't the only thing that's cooling down. BYU fans can deflate their egos a little bit and Utah fans will put the Cougars in the rear-view mirror for now and focus on the remainder of their schedule. Some people just get a little testy during rivalry week. You know what I mean? Calm down, peeps!

One more note about the Holy War and then we move on, I assure you. There are two quintessential examples of Boo Box-worthy individuals for this week: both quarterbacks. First and foremost, Jake Heaps of BYU. What a bonehead. I've never liked him, never will. Waaaaay too much hype for this guy coming out of the off-season. He led BYU to a dominant 7-6 record last year (#sarcasm) and everyone is dubbing him "Saint Jake," the next legendary leader of BYU athletics. He's not even that good! He's not a leader, he's over-confident, and he can't back up all the junk he says in press conferences. Claiming that Utah's offense "didn't do anything special, other than a drive or two" is absurd. How do you think they scored 54 points?? Of course, we received that ball at like the five yard line (or in the endzone) a time or two, but "not doing anything special" would be getting seven turnovers and only scoring 20 points. Fifty-four points, Mr. Heaps. It may not have been the poster child for great football, but if beating your rival by 44 points in their house is "nothing special," I'm totally fine with that. Everybody together now - BOOOOOO!!

Whoops.

Secondly, Jordan Wynn, the doofy-looking quarterback for the University of Utah. He has a terrible arm (really not sure how a simple surgical procedure could drastically alter your throwing motion THIS MUCH), he's a wuss when defenses rush the pass, and I'm constantly yelling at my screen for him to just throw the ball away. If Jake Heaps had said Jordan Wynn didn't do anything special, other than a drive or two, I'd be ok with that because he didn't. The offense was all right, John White IV was great in the second half, but Jordan Wynn continues to look average, at best. Wynn's post-game comments saying that the number of BYU's turnovers was "like a video game" is ridiculous. Was it like a video game? Yeah, pretty much. You don't see many teams turn the ball over that much, but it's not like Jordan Wynn had anything to do with that. Wynn has an ego and he thinks that he can do no wrong, but Utah fans are consistently frustrated with him and I, for one, bust out the "Ter-rance Cain!" chants at least twice a game until I realize that our back-up QB graduated last year and Jordan Wynn is our only hope. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverybody together now - BOOOOOO!!

Shut up.

We'll finish up our football topics by handing out this week's fantasy football Game Ball. This week's fantasy MVP is Vincent Jackson from "Down the A-Town." "Down the A-Town"?! What kind of a name is that? Anyhoo, Jackson had 10 catches for 172 yards and two TDs for 54.20 fantasy points. This is the guy who San Diego wouldn't resign last year... Well, I certainly wish he was one my team. "Down the A-Town," indeed. Congratulations, Duke, you dirtbag. Down the Duke!

Vince.

I was recently thinking about a segment I did a few times a while back called Blast from the Past. Perhaps some of you have noticed the bottom of the blog site, which lists frequent topics I've talked about. This segment is to re-visit topics that we've discussed in the past. Today's topic is... golfing! I'm no golfer. I don't even know what we talked about the last time I mentioned golf. My company is having a golf tournament on Friday. I'm not going. I'm just taking the day off because I'm not good golf. It would be a waste of a spot for somebody who is actually good or something. Golf is boring unless you know what's going on, which nobody does. If you know what's happening, I'm sure it's thrilling. If you know whether to use the 7-iron or the 9-iron coming out of the bunker, I bet that's quite fun. I just can't keep the ball on the fairway, couldn't sink a putt if my life depended on it, and haven't caught a whiff of that thing they call "par" in my entire life. When it comes to excitement, I don't know whether I'd rather struggle through a round at the links or relax at the clubhouse and watch the grass grow. Just not the thing for me. Good luck, co-workers. Go golf up a storm. I'll be sleeping in.

His girlfriend looks bored.

The Shoutouts of the Week go to two of the most Loyal A-Towners on Facebook: Jessica Turner and Kristin Manning. Jessica is just racking up the Shoutouts lately. Today just so happens to be her birthday. If it were any other day of the week, I'm not sure it would merit a mention, but it's TUESDAY! Oh yeah. A birthday on Tuesday. That's gotta make you Feel Good About Yourself. My cousin, Kristin, just gave birth to her second daughter, Katelyn, and if there's one thing that I support, it's having children. Yes. I, A-Town, am a big supporter of babies. Congratulations! Can't wait to meet the little one.

Well, that's about it for this week. Sorry, kids. Lots of football this week. I know it's not for everybody, but hey - then again, neither is golf. Am I right, or am I right? We'll be back next week with another lovely Issue and hopefully a broader variety of topics. As always, I'm open for ideas. Themes for the Issue, Questions, commentary. You name it, I'll blog about it. Probably. Unless you comment anonymously on the blog page. If you do that, I'll delete your comments, no matter what you say. And then if you comment back again telling me I'm lame, I'll delete that comment, too. Who's the lame one now??

Until next Time,

Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.

Aaron