Greetings to one and all. My name is Aaron and this is my Newsletter. There are plenty of things on my endlessly-entertaining mind for today's Labor Day Issue. Topics to be discussed: The historical origins of said holiday, your best (but mostly worst) memories in the workplace, a special rendition of Hashtag Mania, what not to do when you're not working, scandalous and shameless promotion, and one local team that things never work out for. On we go!
First of all, I just need to ponder something. Why is it that many companies are closed on Labor Day? I have a hard time understanding that. I'm not complaining (other than the fact that I couldn't get an oil change) because I, too, had a day off, which was great... but you'd think that we'd all have to "labor" on Labor Day, rather than taking the day off. Shouldn't it be called "Non-Labor Day" or something? I don't get it. After doing a little research (and yes, this is factual - or as factual as you can get using Wikipedia, anyway), it seems that Labor Day was created after Peter J. McGuire of the American Federation of Labor visited the labor festival held in Toronto back in 1882. Americans adopted the idea and began holding an annual "labor day" to celebrate the "strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations". I guess they used to have festivals, public speakers, parades, and stuff like that back in the day. Now we just use it as a day to sleep in, eat food, and procrastinate our scholastic and occupational duties, which, if you ask me, is the true American spirit. Good work, everyone.
Wait, what?
I took to the 'Book last night to find out what the best and worst moments were that you people have had on the job and, wouldn't you know it, practically the only responses I got fell under the "worst moments on the job" category. Let's share, shall we?
"When I was a teacher, a kid bit me" - Sarah Sonntag
"In college I worked as a writing tutor and had been coaching a particular student for a few years. When I was about to graduate he proposed - in Farsi. And told me I could be his first wife if I married him and went back to Afghanistan with him." - Kim Andersen
"One day when I was driving a bus in Alaska, I saw a guy stab another guy in the neck. True story." - Jason Moffat
Among several other things, Jessica Turner alluded to a time when a child started throwing things around her classroom. Shoes, chairs, tables, rulers, and scissors, to name a few of his projectiles. The anger management issues led to the entire classroom needing to be evacuated.
Kelsey Worner sent me a message with a lengthy journal entry of sorts about accidentally causing an air freshener exploding all over the ladies' room while on the job.
"I filled up a kid's cup too full of chocolate milk and then went to hand it to him at the table and basically poured it on his head. On the bright side I still got a good tip..." - Lex Jorgensen
And then there's Ileana Merlos, who apparently loves her job.
This guy thought HIS job was rough...
But what's the fun in talking about work? We work all day every day. Why would I want to blog about work? In this weeks' edition of Hashtag Mania, I asked three of the four people who actually read my tweets to respond using the Hashtag #ThatAintWorking. Here were their responses. I'm telling you. One day the rest of you will catch on and things will really get fun.
@gabbygayle19 - Government and the economy #ThatAintWorking
@atownmania - Hitting the gym to practice your free throws - and getting paid millions to do so. #ThatAintWorking
(similarly) @gabbygayle19 - NBA players #ThatAintWorking
@atownmania - Girls with those shirts or sweatpants that say "PINK" in any color other than pink. #ThatAintWorking
@AdventureRyan - #ThatAintWorking Milk Duds and old crowns.
@crackalacka22 - A fight between Darth Vader and Harry Potter. #ThatAintWorking for H.P.
@crackalacka22 - U.S. Soccer competing with anyone. #ThatAintWorking
@crackalacka22 - Kid Rock combining Sweet Home Alabama with a song that's based in Northern Michigan. #ThatAintWorking
@atownmania - I-15 construction in Utah County. #ThatAintWorking on multiple levels.
@crackalacka22 - Using "R" rated movies to make Gospel analogies. #ThatAintWorking
Ah, good one, brother. That's Austin, by the way, for you people who don't recognize that strange Twitter handle. Let me clarify that really quickly. Nothing personal to the kid that said it, but starting your testimony on Fast Sunday off with "I don't know how many of you have seen '300,' but it's a really good movie" is probably not the best thing to say when you're standing three feet in front of the bishopric. #ThatAintWorking
Here's another thing I don't understand about things people do when they're not working: Foursquare. And we're not talking about Four Square, the second coolest elementary school game, next to "The Oregon Trail," but I'm talking about this weird thing people are obsessed with doing by "checking in" at anywhere and everywhere around the globe. Managing Facebook, Twitter, a blog, and my text messages are more than enough for one A-Town. Why on Earth would I want people to actually be able to see at all times? Why would I ever tell anyone when I was at the store? Do I want them to come find me? Why would I feel the need to notify anyone of which theater I was going to? If I wanted them to go to a movie with me, I'd just invite them. Call me old-fashioned... When I was younger, there was a little thing called "Hide and Seek." Those were the days when you didn't want people to know where you were. You went out of your way to make sure that people couldn't find you! What is wrong with the world these days? Come on, people.
That kid knows what's up. Nobody will ever know where he is.
Finally, one last annoyance for this week. I'm sorry. Please don't be offended by this, my friends. But I have had it up to here with Breast Cancer Awareness campaigns. I understand that breast cancer is a real, serious issue and I'm sure that many of you know someone who has been affected by it. This is nothing against that. But this Facebook nonsense is just annoying. It all started back when? Last October? When girls started posting their bra color as their status on Facebook. This all started out as a little inside joke, I guess (and I use the term "joke" loosely), between women so the men didn't understand what all these random colors ("nude" was one of the most common, by the way) meant. A few months later, girls were encouraged to tell their Facebook friends where they "like it" - "it" being their handbags or purses, of course. Let me tell you, there's nothing that promotes breast cancer awareness more than seeing a bunch of 14-year-old girls flaunting that they like it in the back seat of their car.That's P.M.U.!! Recently, women have been asked to use some strange representation of their birthday to tell people "how far along they are" - an obvious insinuation of pregnancy. For example, a status may say "I'm 11 weeks along [representing a November birthday] and craving pickles [corresponding to somebody born on the 19th day of the month]." This was especially disturbing as I saw this for the first time after one of my single friends posted something similar as her status. (She's pregnant??... oh, must be another girl-joke.) If girls want to have fun and exclude all the boys like they all used to do in third grade, good for them. Go for it. But what does any of this have to do with raising breast cancer awareness? If you want to find a cure, do something productive like making a donation to a research foundation. Making yourself seem promiscuous on the internet can only accomplish so much - and a solution for breast cancer unfortunately isn't one of those things.
And this is what's becoming of our world...
The Shoutout of the Week goes to all the poor Utah State Aggies out there that are undoubtedly in mourning this Tuesday after their football team couldn't get the job done against the defending national champions, Auburn, on Saturday morning. They put up a heck of a fight, easily the best showing of any collegiate team in the state during the first week of the season. What a heartbreaker, folks. For those of you that missed it, the lowly Aggies were one botched onside kick away from etching an upset of historic proportions. Instead, they blew a 10-point lead with under four minutes to play and ended up, yet again, so close... yet so far. I felt horrible for the rest of the day. I really did. And it wasn't even my team! I can only imagine what you people felt like. Oh, but I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have even brought this up in the first place. My condolences.
That's about it for this week. Here's hoping you all enjoyed a lovely Labor Day weekend and that your Tuesday is as marvelous as mine always are. You know it's true. Tuesday is the best.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
1 comment:
I'm with you on the breast cancer awareness week.
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