Oh, how I hate those days when I lose half the Newsletter and have to rewrite it.
Greetings to one and all and, dang it, I already wrote half the Newsletter and I've got to rewrite it. This is horrible. Oh well. The bowling bonanza, my newest idea for a TV show, my thoughts on "Survivor" and pretty much every other show out there, Bronco's big blunder, and a sad day in Fantasy Football. On we go.
Well, I bowled a 157 in my class today. That's not a personal best - there was one night at Young Men's where I was virtually unconscious and got six or seven strikes - but 157 is a semester high for me, boosting my average from 111 to 130. I had a bad game last week where I only got 80, but I've bounced back in this last series, leading my team in points both of our last two games. I led the class last week in high score for "series with handicap" and I think that my performance in our last series might have put me on top of the "series without handicap" category, too. 157 isn't bad, but I think there is room for improvement. I could get a few more strikes and I can definitely pick up a few more spares, so we'll see how things go in the next 11 weeks. I love my bowling class. It is the only class that I look forward to every day and could quite easily be my favorite class during my entire stay at the University of Utah. Stay tuned for more adventures at the alley with A-Town.
I had a brilliant idea for a new TV show the other day, and if you remember "The District" from the summer of 2005, you'll recall that I know a thing or two about making hit TV shows. Almost every time I ride TRAX home from school at the U, I have to get off and transfer to the Sandy Train at the Gallivan Plaza downtown. The wait time is usually only about five minutes, but those are five action packed minutes. It was once upon a time at the Gallivan Plaza that I invented a hilarious little game called "Male, Female, or Both?" The TRAX station is right across from a nifty place called AJ's Kwik Mart, home of a group of hoodlums, miscreants, and homeless peeps I like to call the Gallivan Gang. There's that kid who looks like a 16-year-old Rob Thomas in a chain-smoking biker gang. There's that White chick that likes to argue with the African-American guys until things get bad, at which point she hops on the train and heads to the library, which is only about three blocks away. There is always a Navajo tribesman or two. I think I saw a hungover man get kicked right in the face recently, too! But nothing - nothing - compares to something I saw last week: a disturbingly large and under-dressed woman trying to carry her puppy around in the front of her tank top. It was just wrong. It looked like something you'd accidentally come across doing a Google Images search for "desperate escape attempt" or "suffocation." At that point in time, I asked myself (and a few friends via text), "Where do these people come from?" Scott Aylett quickly responded, "Mars." That was when the light bulb clicked in my mind. What if they really did come from outer space? I could almost see the TV commercial playing in my mind's eye. "They came in human form... They said they came in peace... At least that's what they said..." *BAM!* A guy walks out of the Kwik Mart pounding his pack of cigarettes against his hand. In a split second, he vanishes. The Rob Thomas kid peels back his imitation human skin to reveal his slimy reptilian flesh. And finally, as the lady's dog scampers mercifully to freedom, her eyes turn neon yellow and she is beamed back to the mothership. *SWISHING NOISE!* Fade to black. *BAM!* The show's logo and the name of the show will pop up in crimson red. It will be called "G," short for Gallivan. Join the resistance. It's us versus them. Oh yeah, baby. It's going to be good. Oh wait. Didn't they already make a show like that?... Dang it.
They're coming...
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Dear Aaron,
I know that 'Survivor' started last [week]... What are your thoughts on the new season? Do you like how they divided the teams? Do you like the location?"
- Andrea Chapman
A. Ah, thanks for asking. Clearly you know my love for 'Survivor,' which I shamelessly promote as the best show on television. The first episode is always a little difficult for me because many of the castaways don't get any face time at all, so I won't make any judgments about who will win for now. I don't mind the division of "young" people versus "old" people, but I think that the younger tribe will destroy the older tribe most of the time. I can see this split lasting about five or six episodes until the older tribe is so decimated that they have to switch things up. The location seems cool so far. I always like when they're in Spanish-speaking countries so I understand the cultural setting and language a little bit better. I love having Jimmy Johnson on the show. I hated him as an NFL coach, but don't mind him as an analyst, but every time I see him come on screen in "Survivor," it gives me a good laugh and makes me want to scream "HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?!?" I hope he does well. His mistake in the first episode was admitting to his entire tribe that he wasn't feeling good. If you get sick, that's fine. Just don't go off to your entire tribe about how you couldn't sleep and have never been so miserable in your life. It makes you look weak. Sadly, Jimmy J might only last a few episodes. And as for Wendy, well, she broke rule number four in the "Survivor" handbook: Don't run your mouth at Tribal Council. Ever. *shakes head in disbelief*
HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!
Q. "Dear Aaron,
What about all the other TV shows you're watching?"
Just Curious,
- The Junior Mounties
A. Ah, I'm so glad you asked. (SALUTE!) Season four of "Chuck" premiered last night. I quickly became a huge fan of Chuckles over the summer and, similarly to my experience with season four of "LOST," this was the first time I'd be completely caught up and have to watch with commercials and week-long breaks between episodes. I went to a "Chuck" party last night that was tons of fun and added to the excitement of the new season. It's good to have old Chucky Boy back, but I felt like they had one inappropriate joke (or what they meant to be a joke) that lasted a little bit too long in this episode. The premiere was good, but I hope it gets better.
Welcome back, Mr. Carmichael.
"Dancing with the Stars" kicked off last night, as well. My pick to win this season is Brandy and I thought she did really well. She is tied for second place after the first night of competition. I thought that chick from "The Hills" did pretty well. She's the kind of dancer the judges like, so I can see her going far. I had previously thought that Michael Bolton would do well, but I wasn't aware of how old his bodies is. He sounds like a million bucks, but he dances like Buzz Aldrin. The judges loved Kyle Massey (from "That's So Raven), but I think he's too much of a performer and not enough of a dancer. The Hoff was funny, but he's not going anywhere based on his dancing skills. I think Rick Fox is going to be a threat. That guy was looking good on Monday night, even for a Laker.
Go Brandy!!
I'm currently watching NBC's "The Event" as we speak. I'm about ten minutes into the show and I'm a little confused so far. All these weird flashbacks are reminding me of "Vantage Point." Hopefully it doesn't get cancelled mid-season like so many other over-hyped shows on the Peacock Network.
They don't know what's going on, either.
I'm also looking to get into CBS's remake of "Hawaii Five-O" and NBC's potentially funny, potentially stupid "Outsourced." I'm sure you'll be waiting on pins and needles to hear what I think.
If you have a Question you'd like me to answer, email me or leave a comment on the blog site. Gracias, amigos.
For The Week in Review, I wish to discuss "The Lion King" Broadway show that my family and I saw in Salt Lake City last Friday. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect from this thing. I mean, I knew it would be good - it's a Broadway show - but I didn't know how good it would be. The show was fantastic! The costumes were elaborate and incredibly detailed. The songs were great, the actors were talented. I was extremely impressed with it from the first minute when a giant elephant walked out of the orchestra pit. Unbelievable. The only problem was that I was really, really tired that night, so I got a little sleepy during a few of the slower numbers. I'm going to give "The Lion King" 9.5 out of 10. Great show. I'm sure all of you who went to see it would agree with me.
So very cool.
The Boo Box has a clear candidate this week - BYU head football coach, Bronco Mendenhall. Bronco, my man, what the heck are you doing?!? After Gary Crowton had one bad season, people were calling for his head on a platter, but I don't remember Crowton ever doing anything this ridiculous. Bronco is running in circles, never has a straight answer, can't stop the run, can't win the big games so far this season, and is afraid of hurting his quarterbacks' feelings. Luckily, I guess, Riley Nelson is apparently having shoulder surgery and is out for the season, so I guess that solves that problem. Still, though, I'm sick of getting in my car, turning on 1320, and hearing Bronco Bronco Bronco Bronco Bronco. Never anything else. Always Bronco. Everybody together now, except for BYU fans, that is -BOOOOOO!! Make up your mind and leave me alone, man!
This is a familiar sight nowadays.
One of the problems of wanting to have a high scoring Fantasy Football league is that sometimes other teams will have monster weeks and you'll never, ever catch up. This was one of those weeks for the receiver-stealing abomination known as Christensen Crush. I hereby swear never to take it easy on Austin again. A few weeks ago before the season started, he was about to drop a rookie running back named Jahvid Best. I advised him to keep him because I had heard that this guy was supposed to be good. Well... On Sunday, Jahvid Best went nuts, rushing for 78 yards and two TD and receiving for 154 more yards and an additional TD. 77 freakin' fantasy points. That's as much as a superstar quarterback. Christensen Crush amassed nearly 450 points in week two. My team got 217. The Game Ball reluctantly goes to Jahvid Best.
Dang you.
And finally, the Shoutout of the Week goes to my dad, my number one listener on Friday mornings and the man who is currently just about as confused as I am as we watch "The Event." What is the Event?? Wow, that was intense.
Well, I guess while I'm trying to figure that out, I had better go.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
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