Signs of the Times, Issue No. 117 - 08/10/10

Nunya... Nunya bizness...

Greetings to one and all. Today, believe it or not, is Tuesday. Yes, it's true - I'm back to writing the Newsletter on Tuesdays after two months of weekend updates. I've got nothing else to do today, so I'll have a lot of time to put my thoughts together. Topics to be discussed: The return to normalcy, Facebook marriages, the Bro Code, meeting the parents, unemployment, and the quest for Hidden Mickeys. On we go!

Seems like my last Issue about post-EFY depression was a big hit on Facebook with the EFY peeps. That's good to know. At least somebody is still reading. And maybe people are reading because, at long last, I took my blog off of private. That means anyone in the world can read "Signs of the Times" for the time being. For those of you that didn't know, I had some super creepy stalking going on a few months ago, so I had to change my privacy settings to get it to stop. This led to a decrease in readership and a general decline in global self-esteem on Tuesdays, so I'm glad to make the switch back. I feel like those anonymous idiots have either gone away, forgotten about me, or grown up a little bit - hopefully all of the above - so I think it's safe for now... but if people start being ridiculous again, I can change it back to private with the click of a button. Don't make me do it. Please, don't make me do it.

Right.

Here's something that bothers me. Back at EFY when we had our morning walkie-talkie radio show, we called this segment A-Town's Annoyance. Here in the Newsletter, we call it That's P.M.U.!! - That's pretty messed up!! I hate when girls try to be funny on Facebook by saying that they're married to other girls. What is the point of this? I just don't really understand it. Another thing is when they take all their BFFs and list them as siblings and children? Why? Why do they do this? On the other hand, when former EFY Building Counselor Megan Sollis leaves her Facebook logged in at the site office and we change her relationship status to "married to Kwin Willis" and then list all the other BCs as siblings, that, my friends, is almost as hilarious as the time she left her account open and we changed her profile picture to a painting of a fire-breathing dragon.

**QUESTION TIME!!**

Q. "What is your take on 'The Bro Code'? What is a Bro? Who is a Bro? Who isn't a Bro? Is it all just a bunch of tripe?"

- A Devoted Fan

A. After a little research, it appears that "The Bro Code" is a reference to a set of rules established in the TV show "How I Met Your Mother." It seems to be obvious that a Bro is a close male friend with whom you spend much of your free time. My Bros, in that case would be um... many of the EFY counselors and Austin. According to Article Four of The Bro Code, a woman is not a Bro. In fact, women are never permitted to lay their hands upon The Code and Bros are forbidden from ever divulging anything related thereto to a woman. I've read through a lot of the stuff on the Facebook page for The Bro Code and it seems to be pretty funny stuff. I guess I approve, though I will have to devote a little bit more of my time into deep meditation and contemplation before I sign my soul away.

Q. "How hard is it to date while living with your family? Do they EVER let you alone about that?"

- Kathryn Christensen

A. Well, you know. Being my sister in law, I'm sure you've undoubtedly heard some of the teasing. It was worse, of course, when I first got back from my mission and has died down a little since then. I don't know if that's because my family is losing faith in me or if Austin is taking some of the heat off of me. The hardest thing I've found about dating while living at home is that my family thinks that I'm seriously involved with every girl I go out with. If I were living away at college, it wouldn't be a big deal if I brought a girl to my apartment to play a game or watch a movie or something, but now when I want to take a girl to my house and play a game or watch a movie, everybody knows about it. It's not like I'm "taking her home" or trying to introduce her to my family on the first date, but that's sure what it seems like. My family meets almost every girl I go out with, which isn't a problem for me - I like my family and they don't embarrass me or anything - but I'm just not sure it's the best thing for my dating life.

Jack talked Thai very well.

If you have Questions you'd like me to answer, email me... or something...

It's time once again for The Week in Review. Yesterday I made the trek over to Jordan Commons and saw the new movie, "Other Guys." It's a cop comedy starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg as two low-level police department employees who suddenly get thrown into a huge embezzlement case after the two superstar cops suffer unpredictable deaths. I saw a trailer for "Other Guys" a while back and it looked hilarious. Unfortunately, this is a movie where most of the scenes that made me laugh were shown in commercials. There were very few parts of this movie that were genuinely funny, the amount of profanity was absurd, and there were parts of the movie where I had to ask myself, "What was the point of putting that in there?" Waste of time, waste of money, 2 out of 10, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Our featured topic in The Boo Box this week is unemployment. What's up with that, anyway? I just finished EFY, which was a lovely couple thousand bucks in the bank account, but now I'm home for a week before I go to Disneyland and I have nothing to do. What's worse, though, is that I have no income. There are plenty of things to do - go see a movie, go out to eat, whatever, but it all costs money! BOOOOOO!! How am I supposed to survive with no income? And I'm not just dying to get out there and find a new job, either. I hate this. This is horrible. Why can't you just go out and do things for free anymore? You can only go for so many walks in the park before you want to do something else...

So yeah, I'm going to Disneyland next week with a bunch of EFY counselors. Should be fun, unless I end up as the proverbial third wheel, getting stuck with a group of really close friends and then there's me just tagging along. But hey, whatever. I've decided that since I haven't been in like five years, even if I have to go around the Happiest Place on Earth by myself for three days, I will. And I'll like it. And I'll look for those ridiculous Hidden Mickeys. "Oh hey, look! Three rocks that, if you look at them from a certain angle at 2:30 in the afternoon when the shadows align just right, form the shape of Mickey's head!" "Oh wow! It looks like somebody must have spilled their drink on the sidewalk today - and WOW! Look! I think it's a Hidden Mickey!" Oh man. I need to print up a list of those things. Searching for Hidden Mickeys can provide hours and hours of entertainment while you're waiting in line.

Coincidence? I think not.

Well, that's all I feel like writing today. Not sure when next week's Issue will come out, since I'll be on Splash Mountain all day next Tuesday. I'll try to get Austin here for the Two-Minute Instant Message one of these days. Right now, he's probably down reading the Ensign or something. I'm taking him on a tour of Ephraim on Thursday, so we'll see how he likes it. Now it's time for me to go destroy him at Madden 11.

Until next Time,

Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.

Aaron