Signs of the Times, Issue No. 116 - 08/08/10

Aaron Christensen, you just finished nine weeks of EFY. What are you going to do next??

Greetings to one and all. It's me, A-Town, recently returned from an amazing summer at Especially For Youth. Topics to be discussed today: Post-EFY depression, Austin's big break, and preparation for another season of fantasy football. On we go!

My life has lost its purpose. I don't know who I am anymore. The summer is over, I have no more meetings, no more participants to take care of, no counselors to watch over, nothing to do. It's almost like getting home from my mission again, but to a little lesser degree. EFY has left a void in my soul that will need to be replaced. I once heard a great dating analogy from my friends, Jake and Dave, famous hosts of a radio dating advice show at Snow College. They told me after a bad breakup that I had planted a tree. The tree had grown to be tall and beautiful. I loved that tree. It meant a lot to me. But it had just been ripped out, leaving an enormous hole in the ground. At that point, I had two options - stare at the hole and wish it would come back or fill in the hole with something else. Life right now is strange. I don't know what to do. After a couple hours of Wikipedia-ing the emotions I'm feeling right now, I found out something very interesting. Check out this list of the top ten symptoms of the newly-discovered, near-fatal disease known as post-EFY depression:

"We have to go back!"

If you get excited every time you see a red Toyota minivan, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you kind of actually miss people telling you that you should smile more, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you feel uncomfortable at church because you're constantly performing mental modesty checks, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you find lots of talkative people in an enclosed area extremely, extremely annoying, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you still want to break out into spontaneous dance every time you hear somebody say, "It's all good!", you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you start singing "Holes in the Pants" every time you see ripped jeans, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you currently have nothing to do but read your scriptures or watch TV, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you are constantly thinking "What would I be doing at this time if I were at EFY?", you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

If you naturally wake up at 5:50 every day - even on weekends - and feel like you're going to be late to something, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

and finally,

If you're saving your money to get an account with eHarmony because you couldn't find a girl to date this summer, you might suffer from post-EFY depression.

"Why, oh why are the counselors at EFY so afraid of commitment??"

Oh yeah, it's a depressing life. But quickly, just to wrap up my experience at EFY this summer, I loved every minute of it. It was a great opportunity to work with the youth of the Church and see their testimonies growing. I made some great friends that hopefully won't forget about me for a couple months. That would be nice. I learned a lot about myself during my time in Provo and I definitely developed more patience for others. Good times, good times. I loved it, but, like last year, if you were to ask me if I was going to do it again next year, my answer would be this - Hopefully not. Hopefully by this time next year, I'll either be married, have a good job, or (preferably) both. But hey, if I'm still single and unemployed next summer, there's a chance I'll be back down in Provo dancing my little heart out and banging on doors telling kids to get to bed.

Well, Madden 11 comes out on Tuesday. That makes me Feel Good About Myself. Maybe I'll actually be able to beat Austin down for once. He's out of practice and feeling rusty so I think I could take him. Speaking of Austin, he got some good news last week when he found out that he'll be the next program director of the KAGE down at Snow College. That's the same position I held when I was on the air in Ephraim, so I'm really excited for him. Austin is new to the radio so he'll be kind of thrown into the mix down there in a couple weeks, but what I really loved about working at the KAGE was the hands-on experience down there. I learned tons and tons more at Snow than I did at my internship at X96 because at Radio From Hell, I just sat there and watched everything go down, but at Snow, I learned by doing it myself. The A-Town legend continues at Snow and the A-Town Nation will continue to expand as I start up my new show up at K-UTE in Salt Lake City in three or four weeks. It's a good time to be a Christensen on the air.

It's that time again - Time for fantasy football. If you're up for it - and if you're serious about it - let me know. I don't want any of these teams that play for three weeks and then don't check their team for the rest of the season. None of that garbage. Join if you're interested. I'll have to email you an invite, so let me know if you want it. Just prepare to be dominated again. I smoked everybody last year. I love fantasy football. I live for fantasy football.

This will just be a short little Newsletter. I'll be back to my normal Tuesday schedule starting this week. Here's a quick Shoutout of the Week to my newest readers and EFY home dawgs, Jessica Donaldson, JaNae Reid, Sara Ence, and Kelsey Chandler. Hope you're having a nice life. Farewell.

And yes, I'm going to Disneyland. More on that later.

Until next Time,

Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.

Aaron