Signs of the Times, Issue No. 80 - 11/17/09

All pictures for this Issue were selected from the first page of results of a Google Image Search. Vote for the poll at the right side of the screen after you have seen all the pictures.

"I saw the Sign/And it opened up my eyes/I saw the Sign." - Ace of Base

Greetings to one and all. This is Aaron and this is my Newsletter. If you don't like it, don't read it. You can make the decision to stop right now. The decision is yours. But there is some Good news, believe it or not. It these Times of seemingly declining readership and loyalty to the Newsletter, there is at least one person out there who's interested. But who is he or she, exactly? Time to play detective... More on that later. Other topics to be discussed today: Our newest stalker, the Word of the Year, some virtual lovin', Moving and Selling, Extreme Makeover Home Plate Edition, "The Box," my birthday, and Donny Osmond's last stand. On we go!

For those long-time Subscribers out there, they may remember back in 2005 that a guy named Brigham popped up out of nowhere, sending me emails about how much he enjoyed reading the E.P.B. Newsletter. That was pretty cool, but I had no idea who he was! He kept writing in week after week, praising me for another great Issue, but he would never tell me who he was or how he had access to my Newsletter, which, back before the days of the blog site, was completely email-based. I eventually found out that he was somebody's boyfriend and she had been forwarding the emails to him. That was pretty creepy. I haven't had anything like that really in about four years... until now. Last week's discussion about Elizabeth Lambert of the New Mexico Lady Lobos seems to have attracted the attention of someone or something called "Montana." You can read Montana's comment here - https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=8576748513477071388&postID=3395374103952964507&pli=1. By the way he/she writes, I'm going to assume that this is a man... probably my age or older... probably a BYU student or fan (we'll guess student) of Scandinavian descent... He must either be a "friend" of mine on Facebook or close friends with someone who I know. That's all the insight I have so far. We'll see if and when this Montana decides to grace us with his presence again.

Google Image Search for "Montana"

As I got online today, I saw that the New Oxford American Dictionary had selected their "Word of the Year" for 2009. Intrigued, I checked out the article and found that "unfriend" was selected from a long list of potential Words of the Year. Unfriend. Ah... good times. For those of you out there that are less tech-savvy, to "unfriend" someone means to remove someone from your friends list on a social networking site such as Facebook. Speaking of unfriending people, I think it's high Time to delete some of my superfluous, unnecessary friends - including some of my EFY kiddies. Yes, I'm a horrible father. But honestly, there are just some of them that I never talk to, so... what's the point, you know? So if you're worried about being unfriended by me sometime this week, I'd say that you've got T-minus three or four days to make a move and remind me that you're still alive. Just sayin'...

Google Image Search for "unfriend"

I also read an article about some new game for the Nintendo DS called "Love Plus." Apparently in this game you are supposed to date several virtual potential girlfriends. Depending on the amount of Time you spend with the virtual babes, they will start to like or dislike you. In fact, if things start going really well, your virtual girlfriend might ask you to whisper in her ear, hold her hand, or kiss her. This is done by speaking into a built-in microphone or by touching the screen with your fingers. That's embarrassing, especially if there are other people in the room. Almost as embarrassing, in fact as the Time in 1995 when I tried to give my Nano Baby a drink of milk.

Google Image Search for "Virtual Lovin"

As I rode TRAX to school today, my mind wandered in and out of consciousness and I was taken way way way back to the good old days of Alta High School. I thought of Feel Good About Yourself Tuesday and the Signs we used to hold up in the halls. "Treat Other People The Way You Want To Be Treated," read my Sign. Ah... Good Times. Great Signs. But perhaps my favorite Sign of all Time was the beloved "Move It, Sell It, And Leave the Door Open" Sign which I took to all the high school football and basketball games. We used to have the Pep Band chant that thing over and over and over... until the P.L.T. came and stole it from me. Then I made another one with washable Crayola markers on a neon yellow poster board. Ha. That taught 'em.

I used to be a big baseball fan. I have always loved the Chicago Cubs and the Seattle Mariners. Since my mission, it has been hard to keep up with the Major Leagues, though, so I've lost a lot of interest. I still love Ken Griffey, Jr., though, and I was really happy when he went back to Seattle. Sammy Sosa is probably my favorite player of all time. But... have you seen his face nowadays? That's P.M.U.!!

Google Image Search for "Sammy Sosa's White Face"

I just got an interesting email. Here it is:

"Dear 'Signs of the Times,'

It has come to my attention that this Thursday is your author's 23rd birthday. This is truly fantastic news. I would like to take a moment or two to publicly acknowledge the commemoration of Aaron's birth and thank him for the years of publicity he has given me in his Newsletters. I am grateful for the friendship I developed with Aaron in the workplace during the summer of 2005 and am pleased to announce that our friendship continues to this day, though distantly. On behalf of my family, happy birthday, Aaron, and may you celebrate many more years of life, bringing smiles and laughter to your friends, family, and associates."

Best birthday wishes,

Craig T. Nelson

Google Image Search for "Craig T. Nelson birthday"

It's been a while since I've done this, so how about another Week in Review? On Friday night, I went to see "The Box," starring Cameron Diaz and James Marsden. ((If you don't want to have a good idea of how the movie ends, skip this segment.)) Basically, the plot is that a box with a button on it is given to this couple. If they press the button, they will be given a million dollars in cash, but consequently, someone they don't know will die. I won't get into the details, but the movie circulates around the decision that Diaz and Marsden choose to make regarding the box. The movie makes some interesting commentary about the state of humanity and what people will and won't do for money. The storyline is actually quite intriguing, but I've got a real problem. I'd like to think that I'm rather open-minded when it comes to movies. I can't remember a whole lot of movies that I've seen and absolutely hated. Usually, I can come out with a positive attitude. But I don't know what to think about "The Box." The ending was really, really, super disappointing and depressing. I like happy endings, shows where you end up beating the system. While sitting there in the theater, I kept saying, "Come on! Come on! Beat the system!" In the end, "The Box" is really about the system beating you. I can't remember the last time I was so disappointed with the ending to a movie... Maybe back a year ago with "Seven Pounds," which is about the main character's suicide from the very beginning. Another problem is that now, days later, I still can't decide whether or not I liked the movie. Would I recommend it while it's still in the big theaters? No. Dollar theaters? Maybe, if you have nothing else better to do. Rental? Sure, I guess. But the story is so intriguing that I have thought about how the movie ended several times since last weekend. That's all I'll say. If you want to talk to me about it, email me, comment on the blog, or catch me on Facebook. I'm giving "The Box" 5 out of 10 simply because I don't know what to make of it. It is noteworthy that Marsden is a fantastic actor and I thought he was great in the movie. Diaz wasn't bad, either. Don't see the movie, though.

Google Image Search for "The Box"

**QUESTION TIME!!**

Q. "Dear Aaron,

What are five things you don't want for your birthday on Thursday?"

Just Curious,

- The Junior Mounties

A. (SALUTE!) Um... 1. Socks - every missionary's nightmare. 2. A puppy - I had a bad experience over the summer, if you recall. 3. "Psych" on DVD - Cody watches every episode three or four times before deleting them from the DVR. 4 - Gravel or sand - I mean, obviously not. 5. Twilight books - I still refuse to read or watch anything that requires more hair gel than I do.

Google Image Search for "something I don't want"

In "Dancing with the Stars" news, tonight is the breaking point. Last night was the semifinal episode of the show and Donny Osmond (my pick to win it all) got the lowest overall score from the judges - yes, even lower than Kelly Osbourne, who isn't a good dancer, and some model chick that's only still in because the two male judges seem to be very lonely, if you know what I mean. Luckily, however, contestants are not eliminated as a result of the judges' vote, but as a result of viewer voting. I feel confident that tonight Donny will be voted into the finals next week and that Kelly Osbourne or that model chick will be going home. As my mom points out, it's all about fan base - and the Osmonds have a bigger fan base than Kelly Osbourne, the model chick, and Mya combined. I'll admit it - I've watched a good deal of the show this season because I have a lot riding on it. If Donny wins, I'm a complete genius, having predicted the winner of the show three seasons in a row. If he doesn't win, well, I'm still pretty dang awesome because he made it to the final four. "Dancing with the Stars" will air tonight on ABC at various times around the nation. Donny 4 President.

Google Image Search for "Donny Osmond rocks my world"

The Fantasy Football Superstar of the Week goes to Donovan McNabb of "Utah By 5." McNabb's 450 throwing yards and two TDs (in a losing effort, nonetheless) scored 72 fantasy points for my beloved father, boosting him to the top of the Week 10 leaderboard. But I'm still in the lead by 40 points and that's all that matters in the end.

Google Image Search for "Fantasy Football Superstar of the Week"

The Shoutout of the Week goes to Suzy Petersen. She loves Twilight and she loves the blog. One out of two of those will get you a Shoutout - and it's not Twilight.

Google Image Search for "no Twilight for me"

Thanks in advance for all monetary donations to the "Aaron's Birthday" fund. You guys are the best.

Google Image Search for "give Aaron money for his birthday"

Until next Time,

Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!

Aaron