Signs of the Times, Issue No. 208 - 05/15/12

And this, my friends, is why we can't live on borrowed light.

Greetings to one and all. It's going to be quite the Issue this week. Can you sense it? Buckle up, people. It's go time. Topics to be discussed: Things I hate to hear, my closing comments on this season of "Survivor," the birthday blogger, Brother A-Town's wild ride, and the deception of the elect. On we go!

You know what really bothers me? Somebody told me the other day that they didn't like my hair. This isn't the first time somebody has told me that (see the infamous Issue No. 140), but, it's like... who cares?? I don't go around criticizing other people's hair (not to their faces, anyway) - and even if I did, I wouldn't expect them to do anything about it. Well, this person is a "stylist" and they went to school for stuff like this, apparently, so apparently they thought I should have more of a faux-hawk and they think my sideburns are dumb. Uh... WHAT?!? What kind of blasphemy is this? How dare they tell me that MY sideburns are dumb. Those aren't their exact words, but they told me I should shave them off, which, in my opinion, equates to them telling me that my sideburns are dumb. Psssssssshhhh!!! Whateverrrrrrrrr. I don't change for anybody, dang it. Nobody, I tell you! (Except for God or my parents... but NOBODY, other than that.)

On a related note, do you know what I hate? People who critique my appearance. For instance, the same "stylist" that told me to change my hairstyle told me, as have numerous people before, that I "never smile." They were right. I never smile. Never have. Never will. Don't even know how. The best part about that comment - and all the other "you should smile more" comments - is that this person was not smiling when they said it. Why don't YOU smile more? Just because I'm not smiling 100% of the time doesn't mean I "never smile." It's like kissing, right? If I just ran around making out with everybody, what would be so special about that?? Am I right or am I right? You're all with me on this, aren't you? Of course you are. Except for you psychotic blog stalkers that are still mad that I won't date you. (And no, I'm not referring to YOU. I'm referring to the other one. I know you're both reading.) (Oh boy. I'm going to be in trouble after this blog. I can sense it.) Hey, it's my blog. I can say whatever I want. If you don't like it, don't read it. Oh wait. I put my blog on private today, so they're NOT reading. Boo yah!! Anyhoo, I'll save my smiles for times when they really matter. [Editor's note: Putting my blog on private makes me smile.]

I also get perturbed, shall we say, by those ninnies that feel the need to point out other things about my appearance. "You look really tired today." I am. Thanks for pointing that out. Glad you noticed. "Are you feeling ok? You look sick!" I'm actually feeling quite well. That's just my regular face... As if we're all not self-conscious enough about the way we look, right?? Geez, people. Mind your own business.

What's up with people treating animals like humans? I'm talking about people who make their dogs wear pants. Why??

Are you serious?

Why can't all turn signals be synchronized with one another? It really, really bothers me.

Another season of "Survivor" has come and gone. And, let's be honest one with another - it wasn't my favorite season ever. Not even close. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that it was very quite possibly one of my least favorite seasons of all time. The cast was not likeable. Nobody was bold enough to make a big move (with the exception of the blindside of Kat, which was, far and away, the best episode of the season). It was just a boring season that was not very compelling to me in the least. I'm glad it's over and I'll be happy for a new season to start in a few months. As per usual, the finale consisted of a bunch of people that I hated and didn't want to win and I found myself Booing throughout a large portion of the final hour. My mother was not pleased. In the end, she was happy. I was not. I believe that the best person won, but I just don't think she had enough actual competition to make her one of the best players of all time (which I'm sure many people consider her to be... **buzzer noise**) The one good thing about all of this is that I've changed my stance on whether or not I'd actually be able to survive "Survivor" - I had always been afraid of starving to death on the show, but I'm not so afraid now. After seeing how they baby the contestants these days (as opposed to the olden days, where they all suffered through considerable weight loss and had to eat tropical "delicacies), I think I'd be all right on the show, from a dieting perspective. One thing that sickened me about this season was the average amount of sweets and actual food consumed per person. It was like there was a picnic at least once an episode. And when I say "picnic," I mean "feast." The last worry on anybody's mind is going hungry. They are fed like kings (or queens, mostly, I guess). It's not exactly the same show that I came to know and love over the past 12 years. The worst part of the entire season was when Kim was eating a giant bowl of peanut butter IN THE SHOWER. Ahhhhh!! Sickening. The show has, for better or worse (and I'd say worse... much worse), become so dependent on corporate sponsors like 7-Up and Sprint that product placement is everywhere. It's disgusting to me. Come on, Probst. Get ride of the barbecues and bring back the bugs. Let's get back to the hardcore "Survivor," not this powder-puff version we've been seeing for the last three or four seasons. Boo Box for boring "Survivor"! Everybody together now - BOOOOOO!!

Jeffrey.

We've got a very special guest blogger today - it's the birthday girl, my cousin, Kristin Manning! Surely, this is a moment she's been dreaming of for her entire life and it is my absolute pleasure to give her the floor. Take it away.


Hey everyone! I'm Kristin and I'm A-Town's favorite cousin! No, seriously. I am. Anyway, here I am guest blogging today. I Feel Good About Myself today! Do you want to know why?! Well, it's Tuesday of course, and it's my birthday! That's right folks. I'm one year older - and hopefully wiser too! I love that my birthday is on a Tuesday this year! Tuesdays are the best!


I went to California last week and was there on Tuesday! Not only was I in California, but I was in Disneyland! There is no better way to spend your Tuesday than at the Happiest Place on Earth! Disneyland rocks! I wish I had a season pass. They have a new Little Mermaid ride in California Adventure that was really cute! It was actually my daughter's favorite! My favorite is Big Thunder Mountain Railroad!


I could talk about my birthday, and Disneyland all day, but I should probably go pay some attention to my cute girls! Thanks, A-Town, for this great opportunity to be a guest blogger! It IS all that it's cracked up to be! Have a great Tuesday!- Kristin Manning

I wrapped up my ten-day teaching experience at the Crescent View Middle School seminary last Friday. This was the culmination of four months of Institute classes teaching me how to become a better teacher. Starting in January, I was taking three Institute classes each week: "Preparing to teach Seminary" on Tuesdays at the University of Utah, "Book of Mormon, Part 2" on Wednesdays in Sandy, and "Doctrines of the Gospel" on Thursdays in Riverton. It was quite the journey and, despite the fact that it consumed almost my entire social life, I really had a great time. I learned a lot and it made me a better person, not to mention that there are certainly worse ways I could have spent those four months.


I was assigned to teach a first period class of ninth graders for the past two weeks. I personally believe the cards are stacked against me to begin with. It's Old Testament year in seminary. Of all the books and all the subjects it possibly could have been, why did it have to be the Old Testament? Additionally, I think I was given the quietest class in the entire world. They did NOT want to participate. It was really, really rough those first couple days. It turns out that teaching seminary was apparently a lot harder than I thought it would be. But after nights and nights of preparation and prayer, I could eventually see the light bulb starting to turn on for some of the kids. Ezekiel isn't the lightest of reading material, but Daniel has some of the coolest stories in the entire Bible. The kids lightened up and I think that they ended up learning and having fun along the way. It was hard work, but it was good work. By the time it was all said and done, I was exhausted. But I really enjoyed working with the kids and having the opportunity to teach.

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

I was evaluated by the guy who taught my Tuesday classes on Friday morning and I'm not entirely sure what will end up happening with my future in the Church Educational System. Remember a few months ago when I laid out an employment plan? The path I had mentally laid out before me back then was this: work EFY this summer and start teaching seminary part-time in the fall. Right now, I'm not sure what they're planning on doing with me. Apparently there were about 60-70 other student teachers this semester, which is about two or three times more than I thought there would be. That's a lot. I assume that most of them are married, perhaps a little older or more experienced, and wouldn't have to quit their full-time jobs in order to be hired in the fall. According to the evaluator, in today's economy, they "very, very, very, very, very rarely" look into situations where a prospective teacher would have to quit a steady, reliable job and jump ship to the uncertainty of student teaching. I told the evaluator that my current job is just that - a job that I have currently. It's a job, not a career and (no offense) I wasn't planning on staying at the ZAGG call center for the rest of my life, anyway. I'm not sure how that went over. I will have another interview with him next Wednesday to go over student feedback and I guess we'll see what happens at that point. But, keeping in mind that I applied for EFY back in January and they still haven't said a word to me, that glorious plan that I had in mind at the beginning of the year isn't panning out to be quite as fruitful as I ideally hoped it would be.


This has been a little frustrating to me. Why wouldn't EFY contact me? I've already worked there twice, and in leadership capacity, no less! It's been over four months and I haven't heard a peep from them, other than an email inviting all the counselors who were hired to come on down and get trained. That was a little bothersome to me. And then there was the nice little pat on the head that I got on Friday - essentially, an "'atta boy" for doing a good job teaching, but when push comes to shove, I may not get hired solely based on two factors completely unrelated to how I did as a teacher. It's not completely over yet - there's still a chance they'll bring me on part-time in the fall - but I was pretty bummed. I have tried to keep the perspective that, whether I make it or not, I enjoyed my classes, had my testimony strengthened, and, as cliche as it is, the Church is still true. No hard feelings, whatsoever. I am of the mindset that there are no coincidences and that things happen for a reason. If Heavenly Father wants me to teach, he'll let me - and he'll provide a way to make things happen in order for me to get there. If not, there's something else out there for me. Life goes on. Anyway, we'll see how things go. Either way, I do not regret a second of the time I spent in pre-service training.

No matter how much frustration or disappointment I was feeling (it wasn't that much, honestly), nothing could compare to what I found out late last night. I was discussing my biblical journal with a friend and he informed me that he knew a few people who had a hard time in that line of work, including one of the people I worked closest with during my time as an EFY counselor. Let me preface this story: Each week at EFY, the session is presided by a session director and his wife, who give talks each morning and oversee all the activities for the week. Everybody loves the session directors. They're inspirational, intellectual, and, more than almost anything else, just flat out great people. When I worked as a Building Counselor in my second year, I had the opportunity to work very closely with the session directors throughout the summer. I liked all of the session directors, but there were a couple who stuck out as my favorites. I learned so much from them and had such great experiences with them. Perhaps my favorite session director was... well... I won't say his name. This is about to get a little personal. My friend informed me that this session director had a tough experience working for CES, but he told me that it was a bit of an extreme example. I asked for clarification. My friend told me that this session director, his wife, and his children had all left the Church because of the Church Educational System. I furrowed my eyebrows. Huh? I asked when, exactly, this was - this... experience he was referring to. Just last year, apparently. What?? He roughly explained what had happened to me and told me that there was some stuff online that explained it all.

After a little digging, I found it. Pretty easily, actually. "Religiously Optimistic," I believe it said. That is how he chose to display his ecclesiastical affiliation. "While I may or may not believe in God, I believe in good..." read his note, which felt more like an obituary than anything else. What on Earth is going on? I thought. "It's okay to ask questions. It's okay to have doubts. It's okay to stay in the church. And it's okay to leave." Wow! From the research I did last night, this good brother, his wife, and his children had all "resigned their membership" in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints last winter. I had absolutely no idea. The question that, quite naturally, came to mind was "Why??" He had posted a link for those who were interested in hearing their "story" - and I followed it... which, come to think of it, was probably not the best idea. I knew what I was getting myself into. Anti-Mormon literature. This was neither malicious nor demeaning, nor do I believe that it was posted with the intent to drag people away from the Church, but it was definitely intended to try to open people's eyes to other opinions. As I followed the link, it led to a website called "Mormon Stories." Not a good name, I thought. "Ex-Mormon Stories" would probably be more accurate, I guessed. On the page were four hour-or-longer video podcasts with some pompous host talking to the former session director (or "ex-CES employee," as they preferred to call him) and his wife, seated in a living room. I watched a few minutes. I was in such shock that I couldn't believe it at first, but, after a few minutes, there he was - my old friend. I could see him, and now I could hear him. Denying the Church. Rejecting many of the truths that he once so powerfully taught to hundreds - heck, thousands - of youth. How I hoped and prayed that none of those kids knew what I was just finding out. I felt absolutely sick.

In the first podcast, he talks about his upbringing. He was raised Mormon, which he explained surrounded him with incredible guilt for years. He always felt the need to be good - and the need to repent immediately if he did anything wrong. He talked about feeling so bad about kissing a girl for the first time that he cried and eventually talked to his bishop about it. He described the inherent Mormon need to feel better than others. Better than our neighbors, more righteous than our ward members, more true than other religions. He and his wife discussed how Mormons degrade other religions by the things we say at church or in seminary, whether directly or implied. (e.g. "It's wrong to baptize infants" would be a derogatory comment about Catholics.) He talked about how CES teachers are put up on a pedestal and portrayed as "bulletproof," but how that's not true at all. She talked about how modesty has become too much of a focus in our church and how being modest can affect girls negatively. He referenced modesty standards at EFY, which, he said, have become more and more rigid over the years, but he believes they should start becoming less and less rigid. (He gave an example of a young girl getting in trouble for wearing a low-cut shirt, which he doesn't feel is inappropriate attire.) That's when I got upset. Are you serious?? I have nothing wrong with people having their own opinions. I have nothing wrong with people who live differently than I do or do not belong to my religion. But to hear somebody who was in such a position of authority so drastically alter his views was too much for me to handle, especially considering that I had worked closely with him and seen what an amazing impact he had on the youth of the Church. How could this have happened??

From what I gathered (and I couldn't bring myself to listen to or watch much more of that interview), he had been rubbed the wrong way by PEOPLE. They noted a few times that things "didn't line up, historically," but (excuse my language) who freakin' cares about history?? How correct is history?? We teach in public schools that man evolved from monkeys. Don't tell me you're basing your beliefs on history! He apparently no longer believes in any holy, leather-bound book, which is, well... very agnostic of him, so I'm not sure entirely what happened, but things have changed for him like night and day. Many of the things, as I was saying, were based on people and the way the LDS culture is, specifically here in Utah. We teach it all the time - and he can't possibly say that he's never heard the phrase - The Church is perfect. The people are not. I know very well that Mormon culture is messed up. But never - EVER - would the way a human being treated me lead me to stray from the Gospel. I have had too many incredible experiences in my life to ever deny the truth I have felt. Just because somebody makes an inappropriate comment in Sunday School or because I may not get hired to teach seminary because of my marital status, I would never deny the Restoration of the Gospel. The Church is perfect. The people are not. I don't know everything that happened here and, honestly, I don't want to know what happened. I'm not judging them for their decision. I'm just terribly, terribly disappointed. I hope he can soften his heart and come back, but, according to words that came out of his very own mouth, that's not something he's planning on doing right now.

I learned some very important lessons last night. First of all, I need a wife that will love me, but that loves God more. I wasn't a fan of Sister Session Director chiming in, "Yeah. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, I agree..." If I ever start going insane, I hope my wife slaps me right in the face. Hard. Again, not sure what's going on there, but I really didn't like it. It's for reasons like this that when I told a certain girl that I was looking into teaching seminary and she gave me a quizzical look, I dropped her like Math 1060 (true story). The axe was laid at the root of the tree, as they say. Secondly (and probably more importantly), we are living in dangerous times. The scriptures say that even the elect will be deceived. That was definitely the case here. This session director was one of the best, year after year. And, for one reason or another, he fell - and great was the fall thereof. It shows me that we have got to be strong. We have to continuously strive to be better. The Lord expects us to be perfect. This is doctrinal. But he understands when we're not and he provided a Savior for that very purpose - to save us from our sins. I don't know everything about the Gospel. But I don't really need to. There is always more to learn and I'm open to learning. "It's okay to have questions. It's okay to have doubts." I agree. But when you have a question about math, to whom would you go for the answers? Similarly, if you have questions, if you have doubts, that's totally fine. Just make sure you're looking to the Source. My poor heart broke last night for this session director and his family. They seem happy with the decisions they're making, but that happiness will not last. I have learned time and time again that true and lasting happiness is found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that being LDS is difficult. The culture is imposing and we set ridiculously high standards for ourselves. When we don't measure up and when things don't go the way we want, we sometimes take it really hard on ourselves. I know that God loves us and that He is willing to provide answers if we will but ask in faith, with a sincere heart, and with real intent. If you are struggling or having a hard time, my plea is this: Please hang in there. Please do not give up.

Wow. To end on a happier note, let's wrap up this week's Newsletter as we always do. The Shoutout of the Week goes to my good friend, Ed Rothlisberger, who will be returning to Arizona in the fall. This was a hard decision to make, but it was a decision that needs to be made. I'd like to tell Ed that I'll miss him, even though he lived in Provo and we didn't get many post-EFY opportunities to spend time together. He's a great guy. One of the best, I dare say. Eduardo! We must go out on the town before you leave. We'll make it happen, brother. And, if I never see you again (hypothetically), at least we know this - that we shall go down in the annals of EFY history. Together. A-Town and E-Money, the best of EFY friends.

Well, that's about it for this week, kids. We live in a crazy world. It's hard. I know it is. But please, please, please be strong. And if you need somebody to talk to, I'm here for you.

Until next Time,

Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.

Aaron