"My pick to win 'Dancing with the Stars' this season is Olympic gold medalist Evan Lysacek."
Greetings to one and all. Happy Tuesday, peeps. What am I doing right now, you ask? The answer is simple: Watching "Chuck," eating gummy bears, and writing the latest installment of "Signs of the Times." Topics to be discussed today: Evan Lysacek going for gold (for me), another show biting the dust, the arrival of "The Big Ticket," an old-school fashion statement, more gold jewelry than you know what to do with, and the potential demise of my Tuesday punctuality. ON WE GO!
There are a lot of things pressing on my mind at this current moment of time. Let's discuss them.
The "Dancing with the Stars" finale is tonight, which means that my title as genius is on the line. Way back in Issue No. 95, I predicted that Evan Lysacek would win this season of "DWTS." Need I remind you that I have correctly picked three consecutive winners in a row? Need I remind you that I'm currently sitting about seven hours away from seeing my legacy either enshrined on a golden plaque or going up, up in flames? And need I remind myself that if I'm wrong, all of you will hate me forever? Remember this, my friends. Remember this: Don't hate the player. Hate the game. And this time, if I'm wrong, I'll really be hating the game. The judges arebiased! It's reminiscent of last season when they all wanted Mya to beat my home dawg, Donny. Now they've wanted Nicole freakin' Scherzinger to beat my home dawg Evan all season long. Makes me sick. It really does. They've all got "American Idol syndrome." Paula Abdul was famous for predicting a winner in the early stages of the competition (which is fine if you're a blogger, but not if you're one of the judges). The DWTS judges have gone so far as to say that Nicole Scherzinger is the best dancer they have ever had on the show. Oh really? Then why did Evan beat her in the race for a perfect score? Answer me that! I find Evan much more likable than Nicole. Nicole seems like a little @*#&!$% and Evan is a nice little puppy. The ladies love Evan. They only like Nicole if they like strippers. I could see Nicole getting a lot of men to vote for her, but luckily, not a whole lot of men watch the show. Only the girly ones. And me. After last night's first round of the finale, Evan was in third - THIRD - place! Behind Erin Andrews?? Really?? The judges have been much tougher on Evan than they have to anyone else this season. Take Nicole, for instance, who clearly messed up her freestyle dance. I mean, if I can tell that they messed up, it must have been pretty bad. But she still received higher scores than Evan. Sick.En.Ing. Boo Box. Boo Box for the dang judges. If I lose, it's THEIR fault! They somehow caught onto my streak and they're taking matters into their own hands to stop me. BOOOOOO!! NO! I will not allow it. I'm hoping that Evan will receive, dare I say, the sympathy votes. No, no. I hope he gets the "The judges are full of crap" votes. I'm sticking with my boy Lysacek tonight. I think he'll end up winning. And if he doesn't, oh yeah - let's go back to Issue No. 95 one more time really quickly: "I think Evan's toughest competition will come from Nicole Scherzinger, lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls..." Remember that? If all else fails, this is the second in four seasons that I've correctly predicted two finalists. Eat my shorts, Carrie Ann Inaba. I never liked you.
COME ON, EVAN!!!
Next. "LOST" is over now. I won't spoil the ending for you. Perhaps I'll adjust my final post in Spoilers of the Times, but yeah, don't want to go around ruining shows for peeps. I will simply give you my final thoughts on the series. I hopped on the bandwagon midway through season three when I finally gave into Austin's constant naggings for me to watch the show with him. I quickly caught up, thanks to Wikipedia and ABC.com and was soon immersed in LOSThood. I'm by no means a crazy fan, nor would I consider myself a "Lostie," but I really enjoyed watching it. Obviously, the finale didn't answer all my questions - see SpotT - but that's maybe a good thing. I'm sure lots of people bawled their eyes out during the finale and I'm sure lots of critics ripped it to shreds, but the one thing that I really like that they did with the ending is that they left a lot of the mysteries up to interpretation, giving you part or most of an answer, but then letting you solve the rest on your own. My sister Amy kept texting me about it on Monday morning and I finally had to tell her to stop texting because it was just creating more questions for me. It all made sense on Sunday night... I think... Matthew Fox's interview on the Jimmy Kimmel show afterwards explained a lot for me, I guess, but anyway, it was a good way to end the series. That's all I can say. I was satisfied. Or at least not disappointed, anyway.
Goodbye.
Next. This is "The Big Ticket" week. FINALLY!! FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY!! We've gotten the dang thing done. We made the first Facebook/YouTube trailer back in 2008 right after Austin's farewell and we're finally wrapping it up. I guess we're just like a year and a half late for the premiere... but we did it! I'm sure many of you have been annoyed by my Facebook posts, but I don't care. This is one of the few crown jewels of my creative genius. One was "The City Council Showdown," a 15-minute pro wrestling match I made for one of my final radio shows down at Snow. That thing was awesome. Another crown jewel was my nose wax. That thing was classic. And now there's "The Big Ticket 2." These things just don't come along that often. This baby is going to end up being about an hour long and, though it may seem childish to many of you, this really means a lot to me and the boys. We've wanted to do a sequel to our 2005 documentary for years and now it's done! It feels good and makes me happy - and by-dog-gone-it, if there's anything that I should be able to talk about on a Tuesday, this is it. We're having the world premiere this Saturday night at 7:00 PM here in a cultural hall in Sandy. Formal dress is requested. There will be paparazzi and refreshments. Maybe a red carpet, if we can work some magic. We're going "Big" or going home with this one - and if everybody that comes absolutely hates it, I don't even care. As long as I like it, which I do and which I will, that's all that matters. On that note, you're all invited. If you'd like directions, let me know. Feel free to bring a date. We'd like as many people there as possible. We'll be showing "The Big Ticket 1" at around 7:30, probably, which will give peeps half an hour to mingle and eat junk food. Following the original film, we'll have a little intermission and show both of the theatrical trailers for TBT2. At around 8:45 or so, we'll have the world premiere of the long-awaited sequel. This only happens once, people, and I don't think you'll want to miss it. The ending will shock you. I gave my siblings a sneak peak and Amy definitely didn't see it coming. Cody only did because he filmed it. Be there or be square. But believe me, you'll want to be there - this Saturday, May 29, 2010, at 7:00. Email me for the address.
FINALLY!
The Facebook Fan Page of the Week is "The Big Ticket." Join it. We need more fans. It's part of the movie. Join, join, join. While you're there, watch the new trailer. It's awesome. http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Big-Ticket/124220150935980?ref=ts
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Lots of Questions. Daddy likey.
Q. "Hey A-Town,
What's up with snow on May 24th? Is it a Sign of the Times?"
- A Loyal Subscriber
A. You bet your sweet bippy it is. I woke up yesterday and looked out my window and was like, "What the heck is that white stuff?" All I can say is that I'm glad I didn't start EFY this week like some people did. All the little kiddos would be freezing in the cold for two hours waiting to register. How sad for them.
Q. "Do you think that the new Robin Hood movie being promoted as EPIC is accurate?"
- Andrea Chapman
A. Thanks for the Question. You know what, I've been trying to find a date for like three weeks to go see this dang thing, but nobody will go with me. I'm going to have to make a snap judgment based on the commercials I've seen for it. Uh... Yes. I think that would be accurate. Look at him. He's shooting a bow and arrow and has blood on his face.
Epic.
Q. "Hey bud,
I got a Question for you that you may have answered before I subscribed. Where did you get your tagline from? Just Curious 'cause it seems kinda random."
- Tyson Hinde
A. Dear Tyson, for your Curious wording, I (SALUTE!) you. My tagline, "Move It, Sell It, And Leave the Door Open," comes from a sign that I was accused of stealing from the Peer Leadership Team at Alta High School in 2005. I was really given the sign by a girl that was graduating and knew I loved signs, but they didn't believe me, apparently, and they ended up stealing the sign back. The three phrases are ways to avoid peer pressure. Say somebody wants you to go watch "Twilight" with them. Move It: I think I'm actually going to go see "Prince of Persia." Sell It: It looks way awesome. And Leave the Door Open: If you want to come and prove you're not as girly as you seem, I'll save you a seat in the men's theater. Comprenden, amigos?
Q. "Question,
Why don't we wear caps to bed like... say, Scrooge... I never thought about that. Hmm..."
- J. Scott Aylett
A. Good Question. I can't think of anything sarcastic to say, so I'll go ahead and take a stab at it. Effective indoor heating. As a Boy Scout, I often heard that most heat leaves your body through your head and feet, so that's why we wear knit caps and thick socks when we go play in the snow as kids. Maybe that was a problem back in the day - they got cold at night, so, in an effort to retain body heat, they wore caps to bed. Maybe? I think we should bring them back, though. They're quite the fashion statement. Quick - what color is the cap you're thinking of right now? I bet it has blue and white stripes, doesn't it?
Q. "Dear Aaron,
What are your plans once 'The Big Ticket 2' is over?"
Just Curious,
- The Junior Mounties
A. (SALUTE!) Well, my mom really wants me to get married, I think, or to find a girlfriend or something like that. That's a good suggestion, but... "The Big Ticket 3," anybody?? Just kidding Mom. Come on now.
Here's The Week in Review. I just finished up season one of "The A-Team." I got into the show after seeing a trailer for the new "A-Team" movie a couple weeks ago. I had never seen the TV show before, so I didn't know what to expect, other than Mr. T. He's awesome, by the way. "The A-Team" is pretty old-school '80s, as far as technology and dialogue go, which makes it a little humorous. The episodes, themselves are generally pretty funny, too, though. I love Mr. T's character and I also like Face and Hannibal. I find Murdock annoying at times, but you get over it eventually. The first season is 14 episodes long, which took me about two and a half weeks to finish, I'd estimate. This was apparently back in the day before they believed in season finales, though, so the last episode was a letdown for me. I was expecting a cliffhanger or something, but it was really just like another episode. The 12th and 13th episodes were my favorites. You can check them out on Hulu or something if you've got time on your hands. I'd give season one of "The A-Team" a 7 out of 10, which is kind of low, but I'm way excited for the movie to come out next month. It looks awesome.
I love B.A.
I'm currently watching season one of "Chuck." I'm six episodes in and I'm liking it so far. A nerd with an awkward social life. Sounds like my kind of show.
She is my new girlfriend.
I start working at EFY on Monday. Well, next Sunday night, technically, I guess, but who's counting? I AM. I have been for like three and a half months. Remember the Costa Vida Countdown? Yep. I was counting down the days until I'd start working at EFY again a long, long time ago. I'm pretty excited about it. I loved working there last year and had some really life-changing experiences (in more than one aspect, clearly), so I'm looking forward to see what EFY has in store for me this year. This could complicate things with the Newsletter. I may not have a lot of time and/or Internet access on Tuesdays, so I might not be able to send this thing out on time every week. It might end up being Saturday or Sunday Issues like I had to do last year. And, Heaven forbid, there may be a week or two where I just don't have time. If this is ever the case, don't hate me. It's all for a good cause. If there's ever a week where I can't find an hour to write a quick Newsletter on a Saturday, it'll probably be because I'm on a date with some hot chica. So... please start praying that I don't have time on Saturdays. Just think, people - I could be like four days away from meeting my future wife. Ha! Maybe. Maybe... But in all possible scenarios, I can foresee one thing - You'll all be Feeling Good About Yourselves.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
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