"I see you prefer the cheddar..."
Greetings to one and all. Today is Tuesday and this is my Newsletter. Where to begin? Where to begin today? Topics to be discussed: A new personal best, the continuing Countdown, a brand new game, March Madness, reasons to love Utah, and how to behave on a Tuesday. On we go!
Some girls want me to talk to them more often. Some girls don't want me to talk to them at all. And apparently some girls want me to talk to them About "rape-kissing" their cat. That's P.M.U.!! As Time goes on, I think I'm coming to understand the art of flirting less and less. Oh well. I almost went on three dates with three different girls on Saturday. I only got two. The third one said no. I think that's still a personal best. Eat my shorts, rich girls. You wear too much makeup.
The Good news is this - I made it another week without getting fired. Only 64 days left in the Costa Vida Countdown... but who's counting, right?
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Aaron (:
At Times when you're Feeling a little down, what do you do to be happy again?"
- Kelly Duncan
A. Apparently I have a sad-looking face. I heard it almost every day on my mission. "Elder are you sad?" "No." "Elder, are you sick?" "Not that I know of." "Elder, are you tired?" "You bet your sweet bippy I am." "Do you miss your family?" "Yes." "Do you want to go home?" "No." All the Time, I got this! I recently sat pondering what I could do to make my face look happier as I walked around campus and I made a sweet little game. Simply walk down the street or down the hall or whatnot and look at the people around you. Now imagine in your mind why that person thinks they're cool. "I'm wearing a purple jacket!" "I'm wearing floppy boots!" "I'm Black!" "I'm pasty white and wearing sunglasses." "I braided my hair today." "I'm probably a Democrat." I'm sure you all think I'm a jerk for doing this, but try it out for yourself. You'll be laughing your head off all day long.
"We're in front of a white car!"
Are you Feeling Good About your March Madness picks?"
Just Curious,
- The Junior Mounties
A. (SALUTE!) Thank you, gentlemen. You know what, I hardly ever pay any attention to college basketball, other than in-state teams, until right About now. I don't know a whole lot About some of the teams, so I'm usually not very Good at predicting upsets or anything like that. My mom beats me every year... and you know how I Feel About that. It's sickening. I'll be filling out a couple brackets this week and I guess we'll see how everything turns out. As for who I'm picking, I'm going to have to keep that on the D.L. for now because last year I picked North Carolina and so did the rest of the world, making it virtually impossible for me to win once I lost a couple games. I will say this, however. My friends at ESPN tell me that 68% of past NCAA champions have worn blue. Keep this in mind.
Q. "Just out of curiosity, how much hate mail have you received About your Newsletter?"
- Jon Blackham
A. I assume you're referring to the so-called Hall of Privacy... Honestly, I hate the way I have to do things now. I can't even post a little teaser and thumbnail on Facebook anymore. It's a pain for me to do it and I wish we didn't run into this problem in the first place. However, and somewhat surprisingly, I haven't heard anything negative concerning the change. I'm guessing that this is because anybody who would have wanted to hate me for it can't contact me anymore... so... problem solved. But really, I hate it. Ideally, the blog site will be set to private for like two months and then, once the anonymous commenters forget About me, I'll switch it back. Thanks for reading.
Submit your Questions now.
As I have mentioned, there is a certain person who isn't reading "Signs of the Times" anymore who told me that my Newsletters are too negative. First of all, contrary to what you may think, I don't really care what any of you actually think. That's what Tuesday is all About. Be yourself and don't change for anyone. Except God. And the Prophet. And your parents. Other than that, don't change. BUT, I'd like to prove her wrong and have a couple positive segments here so all of you can have a warm fuzzy Feeling in your lives today. First of all, I'd like to discuss why I love living in Utah.
First of all, I have always thought Utah is a perfect place to raise kids. My critics would argue that children are best raised in an alternate environment where the children could be exposed to a less-sheltered life. My rebuttal is that my critics are stupid. Come on kids, let's go for a little walk on The Strip. Look at those billboards, children. And if we head down that alley over there, we might get jumped by an alcoholic. That's fantastic. Growing up in Utah, I was never offered drugs. Not even once. So the Good thing for my parents is that, even if I wanted to smoke marijuana, I wouldn't know where to start looking.
Welcome to Utah.
My opponents argue that Utah is boring and doesn't have much to offer. I would ask, dear Utah haters, what are you looking for? We have movie theaters. We have fast food chains. We have fancier restaurants, too. We have a pro basketball team, a minor-league baseball team, typically very Good collegiate programs, a champion soccer team, a minor-league hockey team, and a competitive high school level. We have hiking, biking, skiing, snowboarding, four-wheeling, off-roading, a raceway, boating, Lake Powell and other smaller lakes, fishing, hunting, and world class Olympic facilities. You can stay inside and play video games pretty much wherever you are in the world. We have shopping malls, Lagoon, and WalMart... what else are you looking for?
Stay a while, won't you?
The summers are hot, the winters are cold. Spring and Fall are somewhere in between. That's About average, isn't it? This isn't San Diego, but neither is New York City. The streets are clean. It's almost impossible to get lost downtown. You can make tons of new buddies on TRAX, like this lady across from me who keeps twitching herself back to consciousness. (At least I'm fairly positive it's a woman, but you can never be too sure.) And finally, one of my favorite reasons why I love Utah is that Donny Osmond recently got his own radio show. Now if you're not down with that, you had best get to steppin'.
Another thing I've been thinking About lately has been the Signs we would hold up in the hallways of Alta High School every Tuesday afternoon. I'm sure that one of the A-Town Haters' biggest complaints is that it seems more like "Make Fun of the World Tuesday" than "Feel Good About Yourself Tuesday." Not hardly. Scott Aylett, Austin, and I, accompanied by an occasional cameo by Jon Davis, would hold up large red Signs that we found in a dumpster one day to try to promote self-esteem each week. The Signs read "Do Your Best," "Do What is Right," "You Get Out of Life What You Put Into It," and (my personal favorite) "Treat Other People the Way You Would Like to Be Treated." These mottoes perfectly exemplify how to Feel Good About Yourself each Tuesday.
"Do Your Best": As long as you're doing your best, who can complain? Oh yeah. My boss can. And he can take away all my hours except for four every Monday night. But it doesn't matter. And do you know why not? Because I'm doing my best and as long as I am, nothing else matters.
"Do What is Right": When you do what is right on and off the field, speaking proverbially, of course, God will step in and do the rest.
Decisions, decisions...
"You Get Out of Life What You Put Into It": If you don't put anything into it, you should just get out of life.
"Treat Other People the Way That You Would Like to Be Treated": Maybe everybody just wants to get treated like crap all the Time. Or maybe they just haven't read the New Testament.
Tuesdays rule.
I hope that these past two segments have helped everyone Feel Good About Themselves. Now where's my Boo Box?
I've been asked to show my ticket on TRAX twice today. I hate doing that. It's not that big of a deal, but I hate having to get out my wallet, get out my UTA pass, get out my Utah student ID, and wait for the dang officer to come by. I got checked this morning, I got checked a second ago... Come on, do I not look like a college student or something? Have authority figures in today's society lost their trust in the American people? I'm an upstanding citizen. Trust me! I guess it's not as bad as the day I got checked twice in the same trip! Holy crap. Everybody together now - BOOOOOO!! I loved how fifteen people got off at the last stop, too. "Tickets, please." That's more of a statement than a request. They could at least ask, right? What is this?
After what seems like three years, ABC's "Flash Forward" is returning this week. They've had enough time to make a DVD collection of the first half of the season since the last time that thing was on. The first half of the season! Who does that? I'm excited for it. Lots of Questions. Lots of Questions. Will Mark really shoot Dimitri? What's the deal with that guy from "Mystery Men" and all those rings? Where did those guys take Mr. Simko? Is that Dylan kid still as annoying and creepy as he used to be? What's up with Dominic Monaghan? Is he a Hobbit or addicted to drugs or just a freakin' pervert? And whose side is he on? When are they going to kill off the lesbian for real this Time? What happened to that Jewish Nazi guy or whatever he was? Are they going to return to that polygamist-looking place in Utah? And is Olivia really going to blow her marriage for that British loser? If that doesn't make you want to watch the show, I don't know what will. There's going to be another blackout. I've been saying it since the beginning. How else would they do another season?
Get 'em, Marcus.
It's Time once again for the Shoutout of the Week. Earth to Jon Davis. Earth to Jon Davis. Calling Scott Aylett. Come in, Scott Aylett. I've got a deadline I've got to make for "The Big Ticket 2." No, it's not the end of the world if I don't finish this thing in less than eight weeks, but if I don't, it might be the end of your world. We're more than half-way done with this puppy and if we don't finish it before I leave for EFY, I'll be ticked.
The Facebook Fan Page of the Week was submitted by my brother, Cody Christensen. "Give me a bunion scrape or give me death." Wow.
Well, that's it for this week, children. Ahhhh... Tuesday.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
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