Signs of the Times, Issue No. 62 - 07/12/09

She's going out to forget they were together/
All that time, he was takin' her for granted/
She wants to see if there's more/
Than he gave, she's looking for.../
He calls here up, he's tripping on the phone now/
He doesn't want her out there and alone now/
He knows she's movin' it, know's she's using it/
Now he's losing it and she don't care...
- Good Charlotte - "I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)"


Greetings to one and all and HAPPY SUNDAY!! What a difference seven days can make, huh? Well... I'll explain in just a second, but things are strikingly different around here at "Signs of the Times" this week, and, quite frankly, we're Feeling pretty Good About Ourselves. Today's topic to be discussed: The worst dating story of all time. On we go!


So here's the deal. I'm not sure how many of you are aware that I was dating a girl named... well, we'll keep ourselves from disclosing that information for now... But nonetheless, I was dating a certain girl for about six months. Yeah, we had a few rocky patches and stuff, but we were basically exclusive for those six months with a few harmless "friend" dates here and there. Things had been going well these last few weeks, despite my being gone so frequently for EFY. I would regularly schedule things to do with this girl on Saturdays when I got home from Provo. She would frequently come over to my house and do things with my family, such as, but not limited to, the Draper Temple celebration in Salt Lake City, a recent Salt Lake Bees baseball game, "Night at the Museum 2," and things of that nature. Everybody loved this girl and I felt a great deal of pressure to eventually marry her, though I couldn't see that happening for at least six to eight months. I had also recently met her extended family and spent a night at her family's house playing cards and carrying her little sister around the backyard for half an hour. Keep in mind, that night was about three weeks ago. The week before that, I was in Provo working EFY, but this girl went to my house - without me even there! - to watch "Wipeout" and make Root Beer floats (which she provided). Later, she took Amy and Cody out for Slurpees.

So it seemed to me like things were going pretty well. Obviously I was disillusioned. Two Fridays ago, I received a text message telling me, in effect, that we needed to talk. It didn't sound good. I could feel it coming - she was going to dump me. I came home the next day (two Saturdays ago) and she stopped by to have a little chat with me. She instantly became teary-eyed and told me that we couldn't date anymore because I was not as expressive with my feelings as she would have liked me to be. We talked for maybe an hour or so about what had gone wrong and I told her what my plans were (basically, let her go back down to Snow so she could fulfill a couple responsibilities she'd been given for next year and then we'd see where things went from there). She came in and said goodbye to my family, which was basically the kiss of death. I mean, she's saying goodbye to the family! It's not like she's going to be back over next weekend, right? She wrote them a letter thanking them for everything they'd done for her and for the kindness they'd shown, but essentially blamed everything on me, saying, "I can't continue to date your son if he doesn't love me back." Um... Anyway... That was a pretty embarrassing moment in my young life. "Look at me, family! I've failed you!" Oh boy. So I tried to clear things up, asking if this was really it and whether or not she wanted me to make it up to her somehow. From what I gathered, basically, this was the end of the line. My mom felt otherwise, but I thought that the girl made it pretty clear that I wasn't "the one" or whatever.

I formulated a plan. I had three weeks of EFY left, so what I would do was this: not talk to her, not text her, not do anything for three weeks and then, that last Saturday, I'd drop off some flowers and a note on her doorstep. She'd come crawling back, surely.

One week went by. No texts. No Facebook. No phone calls. No dates. The plan seemed to be working well, though I was a little surprised to not hear from her at all. The next week (this past week) of EFY started. Things were good. Everything was going fine. Then, I got a text from my friend, Royal Bateman. He pesters me a lot when he's in Provo because he wants me to try to sneak him into the EFY dances or find me on campus so he can swear at me and try to shake the kids' testimonies, so I thought it was just another sarcastic text from him. I flipped open my phone and read these words: "dude is [that girl] really engaged??" I texted back, "Really what?!?" My co-counselor was standing right next to me and commented, "You look like you've just been hit by a train." I replied, "Yeah, something like that." I told Royal to find out if this was serious or not and after a few minutes, he texted back saying that people were saying it was, indeed, true.

Facebook strikes again! Isn't that the most informal way of finding something out? A text from a friend who saw something on Facebook, for crying out loud! Judging by my recent experiences with Facebook and finding out shocking news (i.e. Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, et al.), I concluded that it was probably really happening - but I didn't know how that was possible! It had only been nine days since she had broken up with me - either she was really quick or really sneaky... or both... I called my parents on Monday night to tell them the rumor and I had them verify it for me using Cody's Facebook account. Oh, it was true, all right. Un. Be. Lievable. She had gotten engaged to somebody else seven days after telling me she couldn't date me anymore because "I didn't love her." Um... Excuse me?!? I tried to call her about ten times that night, hoping for answers, but she didn't answer. Finally, at about 11:00 that night, she texted me back saying that she hoped this didn't come as a shock to me. She later implied that I had not been "grown up" or Christlike in the way I had handled things, which uh... didn't exactly make sense to me... She agreed to talk to me on the phone the next day on one condition - that I treat her with respect. HA!

The next day, I spent fifty minutes on the phone with this girl trying to make some sort of sense out of what happened. After thinking about it, the math isn't really adding up exactly, so I think she lied about a lot of the things she was saying, which is really disappointing. From what she said, she had met this guy on a blind date two months ago. She claims that he was not a factor in her decision to dump me and that they were not seriously dating at the time, either, which I don't believe at all. That means that they had only been seriously dating for seven days or less at the time that he proposed, which is insane. She said they had been serious for a week and a half - and that's the part that doesn't add up. She had dumped me nine days before that and gotten engaged seven days later. Um... not adding up... There are still a lot of things that I don't understand, obviously. She told me that she would no longer be attending Snow College in the fall, which hurt because if I would have known that she really didn't care about all the stuff she had lined up, maybe I would have acted a little differently. She's getting married in three months and I nicely explained that I didn't want an invitation, wouldn't be at the wedding or the reception, and that I didn't want her to think about me, talk to me, or see me ever again. Maybe that sounds a little harsh, but I feel justified - She made her decision and I'm no longer a part of her life, nor do I want to be. I don't want her thinking about the seemingly idiotic decision she just made and then saying in a month or so, "Oops, I've made a mistake and need to break off the engagement." Yeah, if she had come out a week later and said, "I've got a new boyfriend," I'd maybe try to fight for her, but I'm not going to be a distraction or try to get them to break up. Have a nice life... and good riddance.

It was strange waking up that next day. It took me a minute to realize that what had happened on Monday afternoon (or Saturday morning or whenever it really was) was not a dream or a movie. I wonder if I hadn't gotten that text on Monday whether I ever would have found out or if I would have shown up with a bunch of roses next Saturday feeling like a complete moron. Needless to say, it's screwed up a lot of my long-term plans, but hey, that's all right. If she wasn't willing to wait fourteen days for me, what could I have expected if she went down to Snow by herself for six months?

I Feel fine. I'm not depressed or anything like that. I Feel really Good, actually. I'm free! Free at last! I don't feel any pressure right now from anybody and I'm pretty excited to start over from square one, as they say. I really learned a lot about myself and what I need to be doing with my life. It was great to be at EFY this week instead of being at home because it kept me busy and kept my mind off of things. It's a good feeling. This little fiasco allowed me to go to the EFY dance on Tuesday night as a single man and lets me flirt with all the counselors I want absolutely guilt free! In fact, I went on a date with my co-counselor from last week last night (you follow me?) and it was really good. We went to see "Ice Age 3" in 3D, then got milkshakes and had a long talk about life in general. It's been a long time since I've had a date like that - 100% commitment free - and it was just a really good time. She's a nice girl and it was good to spend some time with her away from EFY.


The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to all single ladies everywhere. That's right! You heard it here first! Aaron Christensen is a single man. He's more available than ever. Just one more week in Provo and then I'll be home for good, so mark your calendars.


**QUESTION TIME!!**

Q. "Dear Aaron,
Tell us how you really Feel..."
Love,
- The Fan Club

A. That is how I really feel. But maybe I should have thrown in a couple more question marks and exclamation points. Thanks for asking.


Q. "Dear Aaron,
What about The Boo Box?"
Just Curious,
- The Junior Mounties

A. Um... did you not read that stuff up there? (SALUTE!) But hey, just for fun... Everybody together now - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


Oh man... It Feels so Good! All right, Peeps... my Loyal Subscribers... the A-Town Nation... I'll be back in a week and then the Newsletter will be back in full swing. Sorry that I've missed a couple Tuesdays here and there, but I really have been thinking about you guys! Every Tuesday, people have to console me because they find me crying and alone in the corner. They just don't understand. Hope you're having a good one! And seriously, girls, if you want to go on a date, you know who to call.


Until next Time,

Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!

Aaron