Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.
Greetings to one and all from Ephraim. This is Aaron speaking. Once again, it's Tuesday and it feels like the hype is dying down. Are my mom and I the only ones who know it's the best day of the week? I'm baffled. Regardless, I will continue to observe this significant weekday with the utmost respect. As customary, there are many things to be discussed today. Topics upon which we... or I... shall cast my thoughts today: Life in the midst of Babylon, nationwide hysterics, turning Japanese, "What's in a name?", crossing the streams against orders, and the return of yet another old friend (and when I say "friend," I mean segment)... On we go!
Here's the story - this Friday, all my roommates went home. I was left a lone man in the midst of Babylon. After the sweet nostalgia of my semester in Fall 2005 wore off, I decided that there was only one thing that needed to be done. That was to clean the apartment. It was, to quote my beloved parents, a total pig sty. Dishes were strewn - yes, strewn - about, Solitary socks and damp bath towels lay scattered upon the couches. The sink was filled to the brim with batter-glazed pots. Dozens of mismatching shoes lay on the floor. And the remains of last week's quesadilla cook-off glared up at me from the grimy countertop. In some aspects of my pathetic life, I am not a man of action. But this dateless Friday night, the time for talking had ceased and I put the proverbial shoulder to the wheel. Minutes after the last of my roommates had departed, I got out a seemingly unknown kitchen tool called a sponge and went to work. In the next three hours, I had cleaned countless dishes, organized dirty laundry and missing homework assignments, made my roommate's bed, and swept the floor twice. This place was looking dang good. I took before and after pictures on my phone. I'd post them if I could, but I can't. Seriously, though, the place was looking spotless - and it remained that way for the remainder of the weekend.
Alas, Saturday night came rolling around and I was seriously doubting that my roommates would make it back for the Sabbath, as some had said they would. I didn't mind so much. Somewhat to my dismay, at the very stroke of midnight, I heard the door open. Two of the roommies were back, along with a friend who is at my apartment so much that he might as well help pay for utilities. I want everyone to understand me - I'm not even joking - five minutes - FIVE MINUTES - after they got home, the place was a mess again. The shoes that I had hidden came out of hibernation and they'd already broken out the chips and salsa. 12:05... I'm not exaggerating.
It's not necessarily the conclusion of the story, but the most recent update is that one of my roommates (arguably the cleanest one, though that may not be fair to say since he's hardly ever home) had cleaned all the dishes in the once-again-overflowing sink (not fair to him - he's never home), so that is an improvement. The counter is a mess again, covered in grease and spilled salsa and there are clothes all over the place again, but at least the dishes are clean. He, his girlfriend, the should-be roommate, and I had a nice little venting session a few minutes ago and it seems I'm not the only one who is frustrated by the absolute wreckage that is Park Place #A3, so... at least they'll be attempting cleanliness with me, too. This junk is crazy... There is other stuff going on, too, but I have other stuff I want to talk about. In closing, Elder Holland's CES Fireside was... well-timed...In other news, "Thursday Afternoon" w/ A-Town aired last Thursday at 4:00 (Mountain Time) and was quite the success. Of course, a little bit of slack is expected, being the first show of the year, so don't bag on my background music or the PSA machine breaking down on me too badly. It'll get better throughout the course of the semester and its excellence will exponentially grow as the school year progresses. The big news here is that my radio show can now be listened to LIVE online at www.snow.edu/~kage or simply www.snow.edu/kage. I am proud to announce that, for the first time ever, the program was listened to on a national scale, thanks to Arianna Quinto, who promptly had a song played for her on the air. (Now if I only could have identified her soone, that would have been nice - SORRY!) Be sure to tune in this Thursday (and every Thursday, for that matter) at 4, Utah time, for some grand entertainment that is not only fun, but also educational.
"City Council" w/ A-Town is currently in the approval process, but should be airing for the first time next week (hopefully on Tuesday nights from 10-midnight) if everything goes as planned. I will keep you posted in the next Issue.
I'm not racist. Quite the opposite, in fact. Some of my friends are a different race than I am. So don't take this the wrong way... But there are just a whole bunch of foreign exchange students at Snow. I don't know where they all come from. Well, actually, yeah I do. I just don't know why they all came to Snow. I like them. I think they're funny. But seriously, they all look the same. They all have the same haircut, wear the same clothes, and walk the same way. It's crazy. So um... nothing against them... I just think it's weird that they are all so similar. It was just a thought I had as I walked around campus today. Sorry.
Have you all heard about Chad Johnson? Probably a lot of you don't even know who Chad Johnson is... Anyhoo, he's a wide receiver for the Cincinatti Bengals (that's football, by the way...) (American football...) and he's kind of a trouble maker. He likes publicity. We'll just put it that way. So Mr. Chad goes to a courthouse in Florida and guess what he does? He gets his last name legally changed to "Ocho Cinco." (That's Spanish for "85," the number he wears on his jersey...) (This is getting too complicated to explain. I'm just going to go back to assuming you all know what I'm talking about...) Chad Johnson is on my Fantasy Football team and the day we had the draft for our league, I printed off my roster. There, under the "WR" category, was "Chad Johnson." For a few days, his name was changed to "Chad Ocho Cinco" on my roster. For some unknown reason, it currently reads "Chad Johnson" again, but seriously, that's some funny stuff. It's not really funny. I'm not going to go get my name legally changed, but seriously - I'll let it slide because he's on my team. And because he's dang good. And because people just take life too dang seriously that it bugs me. So basically, I'll call him whatever he wants me to call him. What a clown.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Hey A-Town! Did you hear the news? Director John Landis is trying to reunite Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis and make another Ghostbusters movie. Waddya think?"- Your Most Loyal Subscriber
A. Unbeknownst to many, I used to be a HUGE Ghostbusters fan - and this isn't the kind of fan, for example, that likes Weezer because they think "Beverly Hills" is catchy, or the fan that wears "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" shirts because they were born in 1992 and think that they "grew up watching it." I seriously loved the Ghostbusters and had tons of action figures and stuff. I was devastated when Austin threw my "Ray" action figure off the second story of our house, leading to his subsequent decapitation. I was further upset when I lost my "Winston" and "Egon" figures. I loved "Peter" (Bill Murray's character) so much that I hid that character in my room for years to keep it safe from Austin. I think my mom is the only other person who knows that. So seriously, I loved them. As far as a sequel goes... I'd probably see it, rating permitting. Here's a slight drawback, though - Did you know they're making a new GB video game?? All four of the Ghostbusters have signed on to give their likenesses and voices to the production, but Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver declined to participate, leading me to believe that Moranis would also decline being in the sequel... What would this world be like without Rick Moranis?? You can always use a little more Rick Moranis...
I'm not racist. Quite the opposite, in fact. Some of my friends are a different race than I am. So don't take this the wrong way... But there are just a whole bunch of foreign exchange students at Snow. I don't know where they all come from. Well, actually, yeah I do. I just don't know why they all came to Snow. I like them. I think they're funny. But seriously, they all look the same. They all have the same haircut, wear the same clothes, and walk the same way. It's crazy. So um... nothing against them... I just think it's weird that they are all so similar. It was just a thought I had as I walked around campus today. Sorry.
Have you all heard about Chad Johnson? Probably a lot of you don't even know who Chad Johnson is... Anyhoo, he's a wide receiver for the Cincinatti Bengals (that's football, by the way...) (American football...) and he's kind of a trouble maker. He likes publicity. We'll just put it that way. So Mr. Chad goes to a courthouse in Florida and guess what he does? He gets his last name legally changed to "Ocho Cinco." (That's Spanish for "85," the number he wears on his jersey...) (This is getting too complicated to explain. I'm just going to go back to assuming you all know what I'm talking about...) Chad Johnson is on my Fantasy Football team and the day we had the draft for our league, I printed off my roster. There, under the "WR" category, was "Chad Johnson." For a few days, his name was changed to "Chad Ocho Cinco" on my roster. For some unknown reason, it currently reads "Chad Johnson" again, but seriously, that's some funny stuff. It's not really funny. I'm not going to go get my name legally changed, but seriously - I'll let it slide because he's on my team. And because he's dang good. And because people just take life too dang seriously that it bugs me. So basically, I'll call him whatever he wants me to call him. What a clown.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Hey A-Town! Did you hear the news? Director John Landis is trying to reunite Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis and make another Ghostbusters movie. Waddya think?"- Your Most Loyal Subscriber
A. Unbeknownst to many, I used to be a HUGE Ghostbusters fan - and this isn't the kind of fan, for example, that likes Weezer because they think "Beverly Hills" is catchy, or the fan that wears "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" shirts because they were born in 1992 and think that they "grew up watching it." I seriously loved the Ghostbusters and had tons of action figures and stuff. I was devastated when Austin threw my "Ray" action figure off the second story of our house, leading to his subsequent decapitation. I was further upset when I lost my "Winston" and "Egon" figures. I loved "Peter" (Bill Murray's character) so much that I hid that character in my room for years to keep it safe from Austin. I think my mom is the only other person who knows that. So seriously, I loved them. As far as a sequel goes... I'd probably see it, rating permitting. Here's a slight drawback, though - Did you know they're making a new GB video game?? All four of the Ghostbusters have signed on to give their likenesses and voices to the production, but Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver declined to participate, leading me to believe that Moranis would also decline being in the sequel... What would this world be like without Rick Moranis?? You can always use a little more Rick Moranis...
Q. "Dear Aaron,
If you did have to legally change your name, what would you change it to?"
- Just Curious,
The Junior Mounties
A. "Aarón Lavaplatos." (SALUTE!!)
Remember, you can submit your very own Questions and thus catapult yourself into cyberstardom by submitting them to tarheelglory19@yahoo.com in a prompt and appropriate fashion.
Now that Fantasy Football is back in full swing, it's time to re-debut an old segment of my Newsletter. However, due to my mission president discouraging missionaries from using one of the words in the former title of the segment, it shall be changed. It's time once again for the Fantasy Football Superstar of the Week!!! This segment will basically highlight one of the NFL's top performers and showcase his statistics for the entire world to see.
"down.. set.. WICKER!" made up for the untimely, tragic, and season-ending loss of his star quarterback, Tom Brady, with the re-emergence of another star QB, Donovan McNabb. McNabb's 21 completions for 363 yards and 3 touchdowns with no interceptions place him as the league's top performer from week one and duly name him this Time's Fantasy Football Superstar of the Week!
The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to Adam Christensen. I'm not even sure if Adam gets these... but he totally rocks my world because he is a helper of the helpless... or more like he made me a poster for the radio when I couldn't do it myself. Thanks, buddy!
That's about it for this Issue. Be sure to check out "Thursday Afternoon" w/ A-Town this Thursday at 4 by visiting www.snow.edu/~kage.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
3 comments:
Do you think that you can really clear your mind and think of nothing? I always tried as a kid and then imagined some sort of, well, nothing coming to get me. Now, that might have something to do with the Neverending Story, but Zuel was powerful and if you thought of nothing, don't you think nothing would get you? I am thinking about this way too hard for 11:30 pm. One other thing. Why was slimer bad in the movie and cool in the cartoon? Such things will continue to disturb the universe.
I was visited by Zuel in my dreams last night and I tried really hard to think of nothing... but eventually, it got me... the Stay Puft Dirty Dishes Man... NOOOOOOO!!!
Yeah, I was too young to realize it, I guess, but I thought Slimer was supposed to be a good guy in the movies. He was like... not the bad ghost, but like... comic relief, or something. I don't know. Very strange.
I recommend that you include your subjects of your post in the title. You'll grab more readers in the blogosphere.
Just a thought from a loyal reader.
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