It was a stormy night. The streets were deserted. The year was 1920 and there was only one man who could solve this mystery. As the young woman made her way up the dark stairwell, a light broke through the darkness, emanating from the window pane of a door at the top of the stairs. As she got closer, she could see the writing, small and black - Christensen Brothers, Private Eyes. But it was too late. A gasp. A scream. A thud. The brothers rushed to the door and saw nothing but darkness. They glanced at one another and simultaneously asked, "Whodunnit?"
Greetings to one and all on an amazing Tuesday afternoon. This Time we take a step into darkness. Into a world of intrigue and mystery. Let's get right down to business. The Signs of the Times for today are as follows: Sixty days of community service, 3 reasons why the NBA Finals are overrated, Mafia reinvented, and why the Mole is the best show on television. On we go!
As I was driving to work today, as customary for morning drives, my mind wandered a little bit. Today I thought of Draper Days, a local city-sponsored festival of sorts, offered annually every Summer. The most popular event is the parade, which stretches over a mile long and for which people will set out lawn chairs a week early to reserve seating. Back when I was funnier and more charming, I used to take signs reading "MARRY ME" and hold them up as the beauty pageant girls passed, often resulting if humorous reactions. I contemplated doing that again this year, but soon decided against it. With my advancing age, they might think I was serious. And that might not be a good thing. Especially if the float is from Herriman...
I'm about to go on another media rampage. I'm really sorry. But this is truly one of the Signs of the Times - the media is brainwashing us! Stay away. Stay far away, people. The following are reasons why I believe the NBA Finals are overrated.
Imitation is the sincerest whatever - You can't possibly believe that this Lakers-Celtics match-up is the real deal. They're not even rivals anymore. The Celtics beat the Lakers twice in the regular season and that wasn't even against the same Lakers team, so how can this be a rivalry? If they were rivals last year, well, that wasn't the same Celtics team. Next point.
Kobe/Garnett isn't Magic/Bird - Not even close. Garnett has only been with the Celtics for one season and can hardly be called the Celtics' "franchise player." He is not the face of the team. That would be like saying that Brian Dunkleman is the face of "American Idol." Plus, his numbers have been down the last couple years and he reportedly "tanked it" his last season in Minnesota. When did Larry Bird ever throw in the towl? Kobe and Magic are not too similar, either. Kobe is selfish. Magic formerly held the all-time assist record. Magic was generally likable. Though the media tries unceasingly to convince us he's a good guy, everyone still hates him. The biggest similarity between these two is lack of morality.
The Lakers are just wrong - First of all, no, Derek Fisher, the Lakers haven't beaten the Celtics most of the time. And Kobe says fouls were called differently in the '80s, implying that Kevin McHale should have been suspended for a week for a hard foul on Kurt Rambis. Hey Kobe, at least they called something back then. Wasn't it last week when Derek Fisher landed on somebody and nothing was called? Maybe I'm wrong. He's a good father, though, so we'll let that one slide.
I'm not going to pretend that I'm a huge party-goer because clearly I'm not. But in my opinion, there are two party games that can absolutely bring down the house - "Dance Dance Revolution" and "Mafia." Mafia requires usually eight people or so to have a highly functional game and can be played for free, which is good in a world where it costs $45 to fill up your Ford Contour's 12-gallon tank using discount coupons. Players are divided randomly into groups of innocent citizens, a police officer, and a team of "Mafia." Throughout each round, citizens accuse other players of being Mafia and eventually come to the conclusion to get rid of one of them permanently. After the player is "killed off," he or she reveals their true identity, proving whether the players have decided on an actual Mafia member or dim-wittedly killing off an innocent person. Even the police officer is at risk with these accusations, thus the players must plead their case in an attempt to save themselves before the group comes to a conclusion. Consecutively, the Mafia makes another kill while the citizens close their eyes, then the policeman may check the status of any player, which information may come in handy later in the game. The cycle continues until the field is narrowed down and one side can finish off the other. Killer game (rim shot). I highly recommend it. Now the big deal here is that my aunt found an online version of the game on Facebook. Austin and I added the application yesterday. It is set in a chatroom-like format and there is occasional profanity, so I therefore discourage any children who have not come of Facebook age from engaging. However, Austin and I played a few times yesterday and that puppy is intense! Alliances, back stabbing, and utterly bone-headed moves by the lady from Malaysia that blew it in the final round of my game last night... All this and more - available now as part of facebook.com.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Who is the Mole?"
A. This is the question plaguing America today. Perhaps many of you are inquiring, "What is "the Mole?'" - Only the best show on television! ABC. Monday night. 9:00. Twelve players compete in intense challenges, attempting to earn thousands of dollars and, in the process, find out which of the twelve is an undercover agent that purposely sabotages activities. During every episode, clues are divulged as to the identity of the impostor and at the end of each show contestants take a quiz about the Mole's recent activity, i.e. "Where did the Mole sit at dinner?" "What color shirt was the Mole wearing?" "What number is the Mole's journal?" "Who is the Mole?" The player who scores lowest is executed.
The Mole is the best show on television because of its intriguing plot. You can play along at home to a certain extent by looking for clues in each episode. They are generally very well hidden, but we believe we found one in last night's episode. Each show contains unbelievable twists - some scripted and some otherwise. The show is determined by individual performance, unlike shows such as "The Biggest Loser," for example, which strangely is determined by a vote and can be won by "ganging up." And perhaps best of all, you never know what to expect. When you think you know what's going on, you couldn't be further from the truth. This is gripping, enthralling, and grossly underrated television. Tune in next week to find out for yourself - "Who is the Mole?"
The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to Laura Goulding, the one who introduced me to the online version of Mafia. You rock. And for that, if we ever play, I won't vote for you.
Finally, it's time for "City Council" w/ A-Town's This Day in History, brought to you, as always, by www.britannica.com.
On this day in 1932, Lou Gehrig hit four consecutive home runs in one baseball game. And that was pre-steroids!
On this day in 1989, "the Chinese government called in the military to put down a prodemocracy demonstration staged by more than 100,000 people in Tiananmen Square in Beijing, resulting in hundreds of deaths." Remember that picture of the student standing in front of the tanks? Photographically dramatic, but about as effective as standing in the pit at a Danica Patrick race... ZING!!
That's about it for today, kids. Hopefully this has brightened your Tuesday. And if it has, for Heaven's sake, please give me feedback. I don't know what to do if I don't have feedback. Questions, comments, concerns, and requests for the Shoutout of the Week or the Two-Minute Instant Message can all be accepted by emailing me at tarheelglory19@yahoo.com or by posting a comment at www.signsofthetimesnewsletter.blogspot.com.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
Greetings to one and all on an amazing Tuesday afternoon. This Time we take a step into darkness. Into a world of intrigue and mystery. Let's get right down to business. The Signs of the Times for today are as follows: Sixty days of community service, 3 reasons why the NBA Finals are overrated, Mafia reinvented, and why the Mole is the best show on television. On we go!
As I was driving to work today, as customary for morning drives, my mind wandered a little bit. Today I thought of Draper Days, a local city-sponsored festival of sorts, offered annually every Summer. The most popular event is the parade, which stretches over a mile long and for which people will set out lawn chairs a week early to reserve seating. Back when I was funnier and more charming, I used to take signs reading "MARRY ME" and hold them up as the beauty pageant girls passed, often resulting if humorous reactions. I contemplated doing that again this year, but soon decided against it. With my advancing age, they might think I was serious. And that might not be a good thing. Especially if the float is from Herriman...
I'm about to go on another media rampage. I'm really sorry. But this is truly one of the Signs of the Times - the media is brainwashing us! Stay away. Stay far away, people. The following are reasons why I believe the NBA Finals are overrated.
Imitation is the sincerest whatever - You can't possibly believe that this Lakers-Celtics match-up is the real deal. They're not even rivals anymore. The Celtics beat the Lakers twice in the regular season and that wasn't even against the same Lakers team, so how can this be a rivalry? If they were rivals last year, well, that wasn't the same Celtics team. Next point.
Kobe/Garnett isn't Magic/Bird - Not even close. Garnett has only been with the Celtics for one season and can hardly be called the Celtics' "franchise player." He is not the face of the team. That would be like saying that Brian Dunkleman is the face of "American Idol." Plus, his numbers have been down the last couple years and he reportedly "tanked it" his last season in Minnesota. When did Larry Bird ever throw in the towl? Kobe and Magic are not too similar, either. Kobe is selfish. Magic formerly held the all-time assist record. Magic was generally likable. Though the media tries unceasingly to convince us he's a good guy, everyone still hates him. The biggest similarity between these two is lack of morality.
The Lakers are just wrong - First of all, no, Derek Fisher, the Lakers haven't beaten the Celtics most of the time. And Kobe says fouls were called differently in the '80s, implying that Kevin McHale should have been suspended for a week for a hard foul on Kurt Rambis. Hey Kobe, at least they called something back then. Wasn't it last week when Derek Fisher landed on somebody and nothing was called? Maybe I'm wrong. He's a good father, though, so we'll let that one slide.
I'm not going to pretend that I'm a huge party-goer because clearly I'm not. But in my opinion, there are two party games that can absolutely bring down the house - "Dance Dance Revolution" and "Mafia." Mafia requires usually eight people or so to have a highly functional game and can be played for free, which is good in a world where it costs $45 to fill up your Ford Contour's 12-gallon tank using discount coupons. Players are divided randomly into groups of innocent citizens, a police officer, and a team of "Mafia." Throughout each round, citizens accuse other players of being Mafia and eventually come to the conclusion to get rid of one of them permanently. After the player is "killed off," he or she reveals their true identity, proving whether the players have decided on an actual Mafia member or dim-wittedly killing off an innocent person. Even the police officer is at risk with these accusations, thus the players must plead their case in an attempt to save themselves before the group comes to a conclusion. Consecutively, the Mafia makes another kill while the citizens close their eyes, then the policeman may check the status of any player, which information may come in handy later in the game. The cycle continues until the field is narrowed down and one side can finish off the other. Killer game (rim shot). I highly recommend it. Now the big deal here is that my aunt found an online version of the game on Facebook. Austin and I added the application yesterday. It is set in a chatroom-like format and there is occasional profanity, so I therefore discourage any children who have not come of Facebook age from engaging. However, Austin and I played a few times yesterday and that puppy is intense! Alliances, back stabbing, and utterly bone-headed moves by the lady from Malaysia that blew it in the final round of my game last night... All this and more - available now as part of facebook.com.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Who is the Mole?"
A. This is the question plaguing America today. Perhaps many of you are inquiring, "What is "the Mole?'" - Only the best show on television! ABC. Monday night. 9:00. Twelve players compete in intense challenges, attempting to earn thousands of dollars and, in the process, find out which of the twelve is an undercover agent that purposely sabotages activities. During every episode, clues are divulged as to the identity of the impostor and at the end of each show contestants take a quiz about the Mole's recent activity, i.e. "Where did the Mole sit at dinner?" "What color shirt was the Mole wearing?" "What number is the Mole's journal?" "Who is the Mole?" The player who scores lowest is executed.
The Mole is the best show on television because of its intriguing plot. You can play along at home to a certain extent by looking for clues in each episode. They are generally very well hidden, but we believe we found one in last night's episode. Each show contains unbelievable twists - some scripted and some otherwise. The show is determined by individual performance, unlike shows such as "The Biggest Loser," for example, which strangely is determined by a vote and can be won by "ganging up." And perhaps best of all, you never know what to expect. When you think you know what's going on, you couldn't be further from the truth. This is gripping, enthralling, and grossly underrated television. Tune in next week to find out for yourself - "Who is the Mole?"
The Shoutout of the Week this week goes to Laura Goulding, the one who introduced me to the online version of Mafia. You rock. And for that, if we ever play, I won't vote for you.
Finally, it's time for "City Council" w/ A-Town's This Day in History, brought to you, as always, by www.britannica.com.
On this day in 1932, Lou Gehrig hit four consecutive home runs in one baseball game. And that was pre-steroids!
On this day in 1989, "the Chinese government called in the military to put down a prodemocracy demonstration staged by more than 100,000 people in Tiananmen Square in Beijing, resulting in hundreds of deaths." Remember that picture of the student standing in front of the tanks? Photographically dramatic, but about as effective as standing in the pit at a Danica Patrick race... ZING!!
That's about it for today, kids. Hopefully this has brightened your Tuesday. And if it has, for Heaven's sake, please give me feedback. I don't know what to do if I don't have feedback. Questions, comments, concerns, and requests for the Shoutout of the Week or the Two-Minute Instant Message can all be accepted by emailing me at tarheelglory19@yahoo.com or by posting a comment at www.signsofthetimesnewsletter.blogspot.com.
Until next Time,
Move It! Sell It! And Leave the Door Open!
Aaron
2 comments:
Aaron... dejame decirte ke me encanta tu writing... but i have one question.. did u really carried those "MARRY ME" signs?
You better believe it...
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