Signs of the Times, Issue No. 212 - 06/12/12

A watched pot never boils.

Greetings to one and all. My name is Aaron and, once again, you've somehow mistakenly navigated yourself to my Newsletter. My condolences. Well, now that you're here, we might as well get on with it. Topics to be discussed: the NBA Finals, my second favorite license plate, more trouble sleeping, a few observations, and some good advice from a long-time friend. On we go!


The NBA Finals start tonight with the Miami Heat taking on the Oklahoma City Thunder. Personally, I was hoping that the San Antonio Spurs would just sweep everyone so I could Feel Good About Myself knowing that the Jazz weren't that pathetic, but that didn't happen, unfortunately. So then I was hoping that Boston would knock off Miami in the Eastern Conference so I didn't have to worry about LeBron James possibly getting a championship, but that didn't happen, either. And now it's come to this - I've got to cheer for the Thunder, who I don't even like, to beat the self-proclaimed "Heatles." First of all, what an absolutely stupid nickname, and second of all, I guess if I can bring myself to cheer for the hated Dallas Mavericks in last year's championship series, I can cheer for the little fashionistas in OKC, too. I don't like them, but it's the lesser of two evils, as they say. And, sadly, that's what it usually comes to at this time of year. Which team do I dislike less?

I think if LeBron learned anything from losing last summer, it's this - that if they go down in flames again, he's at least got to show some emotion. I remember Chris Bosh crying as the Heat were eliminated by the Mavericks. It was a little humorous, of course, since Bosh didn't really contribute in that series at all, but hey - at least it looked like he cared, as opposed to LeBron and Dwayne Wade, who seemed indifferent about the outcome. I think it's safe to assume that if Miami can't get the job done, we'll see some artificial waterworks from Mr. King James. But, of course, you know he doesn't really care after all because, when he wakes up in the morning, he's still LeBron James and we still have to go back to our pathetic lives.

I find it funny that on ESPN.com's SportsNation poll asking who America thinks will win the Finals, the only states that voted for the Heat were Florida and Washington, former home of the Seattle Supersonics. Go figure.

I've got some advice for the Thunder. One piece of advice, nothing more. All my life growing up, they told me the best way to beat the Heat: season passes to Raging Waters.

Remember this?? Neither does anyone.

What is the world coming to? As I was driving to work today, I drove past a Maverik and saw that gas was all the way down to $3.58 and I was like, "Oooooooh!" What's up with that??

So last night my folks and I sat around watching the Stanley Cup on TV because "America's Got Talent" wasn't on (that's really probably the only time we'd sit around watching hockey, believe me). Contrary to the way hockey is normally televised, there were TV time outs during the game. TV time outs during hockey? Are you serious? That's P.M.U.!! As if hockey could get any less boring... Oh, but speaking of P.M.U., check out this awesome license plate that Amy and Cody found last week:

Now THAT's P.M.U.!!

I saw that movie, "John Carter," on Friday. The Disney movie was based on a series of book written in the 1900s and, let's keep in mind, I had never even heard of those books before. I had, shall we say, zero interest in seeing the movie, but I had a friend who really wanted to see it, so I accompanied them. Without having read the books, I found the movie a little... interesting. I didn't hate it, necessarily, but I'd be dishonest to say that it was my favorite movie of all time. Essentially (and I feel no shame telling you this because I don't know of any of you that are dying to see this film), it's a story about a man who decides to live life on Mars because, after visiting our sister planet once, life on Earth just wasn't enough for him anymore. It made me think - is there anything in my life that I value so dearly that, if it were taken away from me, I would cease to have interest in living? The conclusion is this: yes. Gummy bears in ice cream. Take me away, gummy bears in ice cream. Take me away from my pathetic existence on this dull planet.

Ahhhhhh!!!

On a related note, if Amazon, KSL Deals, and Groupon didn't text me every single morning at 5:00 AM, I don't know what I'd ever look forward to each day.


I've been having a really hard time sleeping lately. I don't know what the deal is, but it's been pretty rough for me for the last three or four weeks. Maybe it's my new work schedule (10-hour days Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday) or maybe it's something else, but I'm not really sure. I've been having the strangest dreams. I'm in Disneyland, I'm in school, I'm getting yelled at by members of the Spanish Branch in Raleigh, I'm having my shoulder dislocated, I'm having all sorts of dreams and it's getting a little bothersome. I just wish I could have one week of decent sleep. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps the real Question I should be asking myself is... should I stop eating Fruit Smiles at work?

Fruit... Smiles... Ouch, my shoulder...

Observation: I think the only time people actually care about the polls I post on the blog site is when I don't post any.


Observation: Fantasy baseball is much more fun when you're winning.


Observation: I have an awful lot of strange music on my iPod. Why is it still there?


Observation: Is the Salt Lake Temple the only place on Earth where people take pictures touching the doorknob like it's some great accomplishment?


Observation: As much as I'd like, sometimes, to punch my work computer in the face, that will never be possible. Because computers don't have faces.


Observation: Hispanics don't find it nearly as humorous to speak English as Americans do to speak Spanish.


Observation: Dust. Wind. Dude.


All right, everyone. After I let you down last week with the absence of a guest blogger, I'm coming back with a vengeance this week. I'm honored to hand the proverbial keys over to a man that truly changed my life as a human being, whether he wants to accept it or not - Sam Rimmasch! Today, Sam will be blogging about driver's safety, something he knows a whole lot about. Take it away, Mr. Rimmasch:


"Hey look - I’m the guest blogger! Most of you may know me, but for those who don’t, here’s a small introduction. I’m Sam Rimmasch. I’ve known Aaron for about 10 years - that’s crazy to say. The thing is, when we met in high school, I wasn’t known for being the most cautious driver on the road. Now, I can argue that with much experience hooning around the block, I got pretty good. Anyway, it’s been quite some time since I’ve been known for my zeal behind the wheel. Let’s just say that my last escapade left me with a broken hip (and some ribs) after a motorcycle road trip to Moab. Since then, finally realizing my own mortality, I haven’t ventured back to the triple digits. SO, if you do want to start your own Grand Theft Auto reality here are some tips to help you along the way:

1) Get to know your vehicle.
If you’re going to be cutting it close, it’s good to know how close. Not only am I talking about the size of your car, but how it acts in a drift and how fast you can accelerate out of harm's way.

2) Keep your car in good working conditions.
Making your car do something that it wasn’t designed to do is very strenuous on your car’s components - mainly the brakes, tires, clutch (if you have a manual), fuel injection system, and, finally, lubrication. Keep your car well-lubed.

3) Stay away from pedestrians and cops.
I think that goes without saying....

4) Practice, practice, practice.
You’re not going to wake up and be really good at this. You know? Start trying to beat people off the line at the red light. How? You know the look. It’s the same one that sixteen-year-old in the fourteen-year-old import-Honda gives you each time you happen to glance over.

Remember, you don’t have to be tool and put 4-inch exhaust on your minivan ( I know some of you who read this have one!). Just go out there and terrorize others on the road with grace.

Thanks for reading my first run as a guest blogger on SotT."
- Sam Rimmasch

There are many things wrong with this picture.

That's some good stuff, my friend. Great work. We'll bring this baby back home as we do most weeks unless I'm too stressed to remember to give a Shoutout of the Week. This week, I'm stressed because of the last lady that called me at work, but I've got my wits about me. To whom shall I give the Shoutout this week? Hmmmmmmm... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Tyson Hinde? Does he still read this thing? Arianna Quinto-Linares? Ah. She's the best. I don't know if she still reads, either, but she's the best ever and I'm proud of her. For those of you that don't know, Arianna was my first baptism on my mission. She later went on to become a prominent leader for the women and young women in the Raleigh Spanish Branch (which is now a ward, if I'm not mistaken?), and is now married in the temple. She's the best!! Woo.


That's about it for this week, kiddos. Oh man. What a Tuesday this has been. I'm outta here. Take it easy, people.

Until next Time,

Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.

Aaron