Ok, campers, rise and shine! And don't forget your booties 'cause it's COLD out there today!"
"It's cold out there every day - what is this? Miami Beach?"
"Not hardly."
Greetings to one and all on the first Tuesday of the month they call "Feb-u-ary." Holy crap, it's freezing outside. Those are my exact thoughts as I walked from my car to the TRAX train. Why am I headed up to the U today? Well, I'll come clean in this Issue. You lucky, lucky readers. Other topics to be discussed: Super Bowl XLV, the groundhog's shadow, a creepy old friend, a server failure, and the first actual book I've read in a long time. On we go!
In last week's issue, I explained how I'll be working closely with the K-UTE staff this semester. Is this a lie? No, absolutely not. Everything I told you last week was true. However, I have received a request that I come clean today and tell you the entire story. Hmmph! Well, here's the deal. Upon investigation of a couple things on the University of Utah's website a couple weeks ago, it came to my attention that my academic advisors somehow overlooked the fact that I was missing a few upper division elective credits. Yes, that's right. This all could have been easily avoided if they would have simply told me that I needed upper division electives, not just "electives." I could have been long gone by now if I would have known that instead of taking prestigious (regular) elective classes such as weight training, basketball, and bowling. I still have no idea how this happened. So....... the reason why I'm going up to K-UTE this semester is not for a job. It's definitely not a job because they definitely aren't paying me. I'll be doing pretty much a full-time internship with them to take care of the credits I was missing. I suppose you could say that I am "going back to school" or that I'm "not actually graduated," but I'm not really going back to school - I'm done with classes, done with homework, done with projects - just taking another internship to get a little extra credit - and because of this, I essentially still did graduate... my diploma, which I wasn't going to receive until May anyway, will just say Spring 2011 instead of Fall 2010. Whatever. It wasn't my fault. I did exactly what the advisors told me to do. They told me which classes to take, I took them; they told me to get 122 credits, I got 123. Not my fault. Judge if you wish, but, despite how completely shocked I was when I found out a few weeks ago, it's really not that big of a deal. I'm just glad I found out now because if I hadn't checked, I still would have been waiting around a year from now wondering where my diploma was. There you have it. But hey, if you look at it this way, I'll be one of the very few people to graduate college three times before getting their Bachelor's Degree.
The Super Bowl is this Sunday and I'm sure you're all just dying to hear my thoughts about who will win and whatnot, so here they are. I don't like the Steelers or the Packers. Let me rephrase that - I hate the Steelers and don't care about the Packers. This may go down as one of the more uninteresting Super Bowls of all time. Perhaps I talked about that last week. But really, I won't be ecstatic either way. I just want the Steelers to lose. Ben Roethlisberger is a total dirtbag and I hope he goes down. James Harrison is the dirtiest player in the league and I don't want him to do well, either. Hines Ward is just annoying and old. Mike Tomlin seems like a cool coach, but I don't like him because he coaches Pittsburgh. Most of all, though, the Steelers beat the Seahawks in the 2006 Super Bowl right before I left on my mission in what was the absolutely WORST officiated game I have ever seen in all of football. I think that football referees are generally pretty good with the calls they make, but that Super Bowl was just sickening to watch. Worst. Officiating. Ever. I'm serious. Believe it or not, I actually kind of used to like the Steelers before that, but that one game and those three or four totally blown calls was enough to make me hate them forever. I don't really like the Packers, either. I've never been an Aaron Rodgers fan. He has always seemed to me like one of those Jay Cutler-type quarterbacks that are out to prove to the world how good they are, but they never win the games that count and usually choke in the clutch. In the past few weeks, though, I must admit that Rodgers has emerged as one of the better quarterbacks in the league - notice the phrasing: I didn't say "as one of the best quarterbacks" - one of the better quarterbacks... But the rest of the team... Hmmph... I think the Steelers will win, mostly because I hate them and want them to lose and that's how things usually turn out in these circumstances, but I just think that Pittsburgh has a better overall team. My one point of consolation is that maybe they'll have two or three good commercials. Ugh...
As long as there's nachos, who really cares about the game?
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Dear Aaron - Seer of seers, Prognosticator of prognosticators,
Think it'll be an early Spring?"
Just Curious,
- The Junior Mounties
A. You want a prediction? (SALUTE!) I'll give you a Winter prediction... It's gonna be cold... and it's gonna be gray... and it's gonna last you... the rest... of your lives...
Can we try that one more time without the sarcasm?
I am shocked... Absolutely shocked. I actually found somebody who wants to participate in the all-but-forgotten segment, the Two-Minute Instant Message. Everybody not remember that one? Oh yeah. It's been a while. But this guy seems a little overzealous... Might have to cut him short if he gets out of hand. Anyway, here it is. I will be in red and he will be in green. Enjoy.
Aaron? Hey, Aaron? Aaron! A-Town! A-Town, I thought that was you!
Hi, how are you doing? Thanks for reading.
Hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you.
Not a chance.
Ned... Ryerson! "Needle-nose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy - Case Western High! Ned Ryerson! I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Ned Ryerson! Got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing again! Ned Ryerson - I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Ned Ryerson?
Bing!
Bing...
I don't even think that took two minutes... but that's all I can take.
Watch out for that first step...
A letter and Boo Box suggestion from a Subscriber:
"A-Town,
My weeks are sadly very busy, so I don't get to Feel Good until Friday, when I get a spare minute to read SotT. Anyways, I finally popped over to the Examiner to read your review of 'Scott Pilgrim' (a movie that I love, but a movie that I feel you reviewed fairly) and then I thought, 'Hmmm.... I am interested in reading more reviews of man whose opinion I value.' So then I see that you reviewed 'Salt,' and I thought, 'Yippee skippy, I never saw that movie but have wondered if it is any good.' Then what do I find when I click the link?
(He had attached a screen shot of a webpage explaining that www.examiner.com was experiencing a temporary problem with its server.)
Yeah. Server failure. I live a pretty tranquil life without aggravation, but I nominate that for the Boo Box, man. Just sayin'."
Keep the good stuff coming.
-Dallin Akagi
Thanks for keeping an eye out, brother. What the heck? Not only did the Examiner deprive you of your reading pleasure, but it also shorted me a few cents that I would have earned from your page views! Oh, that's no good. Everybody together now - BOOOOOO!!
It's just a couple uh flakes!!
Unbelievable... But hey, speaking of reviews, here is this week's Week in Review: Dan Brown's book, The Lost Symbol. I chose this as my first post-"graduate" novel to read. Keep in mind that, other than the Good Word (scriptures) and the bad word (textbooks), I haven't read a whole, whole lot in my life, excluding the Harry Potter series. I had previously read Brown's The DaVinci Code, which I enjoyed, so I thought I'd give The Lost Symbol a shot. I really like the way Brown writes - short chapters (five or six pages at the absolute most) with cliffhangers at the end of every chapter. That's good stuff for a technology-crazed, overstimulated muchacho with a short attention span such as myself. Surprisingly, I sometimes have a hard time putting down books by Dan Brown. It's good stuff. He keeps his books relatively profanity free and, though there are a few instances of gore and blood, it's nothing you wouldn't see on "CSI" or "NCIS." The Lost Symbol is not too different from his typical style of writing, weaving a tangled web of Masonry around symbologist Robert Langdon. This time around, Langdon is pulled into a twisted plot to uncover the Ancient Mysteries of the Freemasons. I know pretty much nothing about the Masons, but that didn't stop me from enjoying this book. I, unlike Brown's critics, accept the fact that his writing is mainly fiction, so it's not like I'll base my views of Masonry on the things I read in this book, but I thought this stuff was really interesting. The Lost Symbol mixes the mysterious world of the Masons with Brown's typical historical fiction and the book end up being addicting. I thought the beginning and middle of the book were superb, but felt like the action lulls a little bit toward the end, dragging the suspense on a little too long in some instances, and, as usual, I disagreed with Brown's interpretation of the Bible in the final few chapters of the book. Whatever, though. To each his own. I'm not sure if Brown is an atheist or if he just wants his characters to be (Langdon actually is), but when he tries to get readers to believe that the Second Coming is actually a figurative representation of the second coming of the intellectual man, that seemed a little crazy. Other than those two things, I really enjoyed the book, finishing the 500 pages in a little less than three weeks, which is quite the accomplishment for me. I'll give The Lost Symbol 8 out of 10 and would recommend it to you if you're looking for something to read. Coming from a non-reader, an 8 isn't too bad!
The Shoutout of the Week goes to... Jake Rands, an EFY buddy of mine. He has been one of the bigger Facebook fans of the Newsletter and even though he may not necessarily agree with all of my opinions, especially regarding sports, the matter of the fact is that he still keeps reading. Good on yeh, Jake. Happy Tuesday to you.
That's about it for this week. I'll be posting a review for the "Groundhog Day" DVD later tonight. It's not new, but it is timely. That, my friends is a good movie. The shame is that I wrote the entire review last night and then accidentally closed the tab in my browser, so I lost everything. Gotta write it all again. It will be worth it. Now if you could all just go check it out later and open up 100 tabs for each of my reviews, I'd really appreciate that. I've made $5 doing reviews now. I'm pretty much rolling in the dough. Oh baby, baby.
Until next Time,
Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.
Aaron
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