"Your Newsletter talks too much about sports and reality TV."
Greetings to one and all. Today is Tuesday and if you're a Jazz fan, there are plenty of reasons to be Feeling Good About Yourself right now. Topics to be discussed today: sports and reality TV. On we go!
Just when it seemed like all was lost in Utah Jazz country, an absolute miracle occurred last night. I'll be honest since none of the rest of you will. After watching Mehmet Okur go down with a ruptured Achilles tendon, I was ready to throw in the towel. I was ready to be swept by Denver in the first round and I was About to start making plans for my summer vacation. With Andrei Kirilenko out for the next two weeks, the Jazz are extremely short-handed without two of their best players in the starting lineup. We got slaughtered on Saturday night, losing by 13 (which seemed like 30) and I ended up turning off the game with two minutes left. It's just not that much fun to watch J.R. Smith shoot 40-footers as Carmelo Anthony runs around with that goofy smile on his face. Now I know that all you bandwagon fans are saying, "How dare you! We still have faith. We knew the Jazz were going to win last night. This is our year!" You people are morons. You do realize that our injury-ridden squad will play the Lakers in the second round, right? Sadly, the hopes of the Jazz winning the championship this year have been essentially extinguished and every true Jazz fan realizes this. The only thing worse than a fake Jazz fan is an ignorant, stupid one. When you rupture your Achilles tendon, you don't come back to play next week. Memo is out for the rest of the playoffs and may even miss games in the 2010-11 season. It takes players six to nine months (and sometimes up to a year) to recover from these things and players who have tried to come back are never the same. Christian Laettner, Voshon Lenard, Felton Spencer, Elton Brand. Where are they now? We may have witnessed the peak of Okur's career and it could very well be all downhill from here. Accept it, Jazz fans. Live with it. Hopefully Kevin O'Connor doesn't blow our draft picks in a couple months.
No, Memo! NO!!
On a happier note, last night's 114-111 win over the Nuggets in Denver was huge for the Jazz. I recently told Amber Hunt that there are no "moral victories" in the playoffs. Well, I appologize. Last night was a moral victory. The only moral victory. Even if we lose the next three games, I can Feel Good that we at least won one game when nobody gave us a chance. Deron Williams had a big first half to put the Jazz (shockingly) up by 12 at the half. He had a quiet second half, but Paul Millsap, Carlos Boozer, and Kyle Korver stepped up, hitting big shots and never letting the Nuggets pull away. Heck, even Fesenko had a Good game (considering how he's Fesenko).
One of these players is not like the others...
Perhaps the best moment of last night's game, other than Boozer's monstrous put-back, was watching Carmelo Anthony foul out and sit on the bench with a look of horror on his face. Here's the deal with Carmelo, though, seriously. He leads with his shoulder and pushes with his right arm. Every Time. Take the charge. Take the charge, boys. That's what they did last night. Four of his six fouls, in fact, were offensive. CJ and Wes Matthews have got to get inside his head if we want to have a chance in this series.
A few thoughts about Denver: You've got to love players like Carmelo. His tattoo of the Warner Brothers logo has given me a Good laugh these last few days. Only Greg Ostertag would beat him in a contest for biggest waste of a tattoo. And then there's J.R. Smith who comes in last night with those ridiculous shoes, makes one shot and starts pointing to his wrist, mouthing "It's Time!" Um... first of all, they were still down by 10 at that point and uh... was that the only shot he made all night? I really think it might have been. Chauncey Billups, once a respectable, likable player, has turned into a punk since his arrival in Denver a couple years ago. He's looking old and Deron owns him. The quote of the night came from Jazz broadcaster, Ron Boone, who described Denver point guard Ty Lawson by saying, "He's 5'11" - Make him pay for being short!" I have enjoyed having Matt Harpring on the broadcasting team. His supply of jokes about the Birdman never gets old.
Carmelo's street cred just dropped five points.
I've got to enjoy this one Issue because the Jazz are coming off a huge win and our days are numbered. There may not be many more Good days left this season. Congratulations, Jazz, on a big win. I'm surprised the NBA hasn't Issued a statement apologizing for the final score last night. But hey, as long as LeBron and Kobe are still winning, David Stern doesn't care what else happens. It's rigged, I tell you. I'll be shocked if the Cavaliers don't win the championship.
Come on, Jazz! Hang in there!
It's Time for a TV update. For those of you who haven't been watching "Survivor," you missed one of the dumbest moves in the history of the show on Thursday. Let's just say that it ranks up there with that do-do who gave his individual immunity to somebody else and then got voted off the island minutes later. It's up there with the guy who played a stick, thinking it was an immunity idol. It's up there with James, who was once voted off while having two immunity idols in his pockets. This was an incredibly stupid move and the heroes tribe is really going to pay for it.
"I'll see you in another life, brother."
I'm still watching "Flash Forward" and "LOST," which keeps me pretty busy throughout the week, as far as TV watching goes. "LOST" is getting really Good, which, uh, it should, since there are only five or six episodes left. Things are finally coming together - they finally explained where all that whispering mumbo jumbo was coming from. I'm still waiting for a polar bear explanation and to find out the reason why people couldn't have babies on the island. Maybe they're just hoping that everyone forgot that stuff. Well I didn't. And I want answers. "Flash Forward" is also pretty intense. However, I find it a million Times more predictable than "LOST." It's like I could write some of their cliffhangers or something. Still a fun show to watch, though. But this all leads me to my next topic.
I've been bothered recently by the amount of spoilers I've seen on Facebook recently. As I said last week, posting a spoiler as your status is one of the cardinal sins of Facebook. Don't do it, dummies. If you're really that shocked about Jack killing Kate on "LOST," make a blog About it or like... make some friends or something. That way you can talk all you want. But don't post it on Facebook. Multiple episodes of "LOST," "Flash Forward," and "Survivor" have been ruined for me by being online on Thursdays. So I developed something I'd like to call "No Spoiler Thursday." Last Thursday, I turned off my laptop and my cell phone until I was done watching my shows that night. This gave me approximately two or three hours uninterrupted by text messages or people trying to instant message me. It was nice. None of my shows were spoiled and it was just relaxing to take a break from technology. I think I'll do it again this week, as a matter of fact, and I'd encourage you to do the same. Send in your "No Spoiler Thursday" success stories and perhaps I'll publish some of them next Issue.
She loves Thursdays now. Look at that smile!
A kid got on TRAX in Salt Lake City this morning wearing a shirt that said "Legalize Gay - Repeal Prop 8 Now." He was also wearing shorts with the bottom rolled up. Wow. Just another Sign of the Times.
Here's some interesting news - I'm on pace to graduate from the University of Utah in December. That means I'll get my Bachelor's Degree in just three years. I didn't realize I was so far ahead until a couple weeks ago, but with registration taking place last week, I set everything up and realized that I'm almost done! I'm still looking for two more elective credits, putting me at 18 credits for the semester. That's kind of a lot, but I took 17 down at Snow once and survived, so I think I can do it. I asked a few people what some easy classes would be for next year. Of course, I got the typical "basket weaving" response. I asked if I should look for underwater basket weaving and was told that I should try doing it partially underwater. The Question I have is whether that would only be for half-credit. I looked at the courses offered up here and didn't find anything called "Partially Underwater Basket Weaving," so I guess I'll just have to keep looking.
I always thought people were joking. Apparently they're "for reals."
In my Media and Pop Culture class today, we started doing group presentations about how the media has affected certain aspects of our lives. My group will be presenting on Thursday on (go figure) media's influence on sports. Groups that went today talked about the invention of the iPhone, the evolution of the mp3, and people's addiction to online dating. After seeing the groups go today, I'm not Feeling so nervous About the quality of our presentation because there was some pretty messed up stuff going on today, like random clips from Monty Python that didn't relate to anything. The online dating presentation was kind of interesting. I took a few notes so I'd have ideas of which websites I should start looking at if things don't improve. After all, nobody visited me this week. I take that back. My home teachers did. For the first time since like 2004. But really. I might start looking at websites to find new prospects. Maybe I'll start with MeetAnInmate.com.That's P.M.U.!! Why?!? Why would you do that?
"My name is Samantha and I look Good in stripes."
That's About it for this week. I bet you all hated this Issue, but I don't really care. After all, the person who told me they only read 10% of the Newsletter because they hate sports and reality TV is the same person who told me to quit my job and move out of my house because I wouldn't be able to buy a real diamond ring the way I'm living now. Hmmph... Whatever. See you peeps next week. Maybe.
Until next Time,
Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.
Aaron
1 comment:
I saw this on FB, thought of you and had to comment. One of my friends liked: Don't Kanye me or I will Chris Brown you and Tiger Woods your mother. I checked it out...totally ligit!
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