The Twitter twit twatted... or was that twote? twitted?
Greetings to one and all. 'Tis I, Aaron Christensen, at your virtual fingertips. Yes, thank you, thank you. After another lovely week in the life, one can only imagine what tales of suspense and intrigue are in store for this Issue of "Signs of the Times." Luckily, no animals were involved (or harmed) in production this week. Topics to be discussed: William Shatner in embryo, people who love themselves more than I do, Twittermania, the mind-blowing commentary of Ammon Hatch, the puke I just can't Bear watching, and unhealthy Memorial Day addictions. On we go!
Let's start off with The Week in Review, shall we? It seems to be a popular trend as of late to Review movies in this segment, so I've got another one for you this Tuesday. My family and I saw the newest installment in the "Star Trek" series on Friday and I didn't quite know what to expect. I'm by no means a Trekkie. In fact, I used to mock Trekkies on an almost-daily basis. I must apologize, however, in a public forum like unto this one, to my brother, Adam, who in his day was quite the Trekkie in and of himself. His annoying facts about the Starfleet and their enemies finally paid off last weekend, as I was probably the first in the theater to know who the Romulans were. That's right. I'd heard many a good thing about this movie, so I went in with pretty high expectations, which is something I usually try to avoid. Granted, most of the good things I had heard were about the good looks of Captain Kirk, but whatever. Let's get to the Review. Movies like "Star Trek" depend on special effects. Science fiction films often live or die by their computer-generated images. Luckily for J.J. Abrams, he pulled it off quite well, actually. Everything looked good to me in this one. I thought the actors were fantastic, especially the guy who played Spock. The words "exact replica" come to mind. Something else that caught my attention was the astounding character development in the show. As I said, I'm no Trekkie, but I'm not a moron, either, so I knew who a lot of the characters were beforehand - McCoy, Kirk, Spock, and Scottie, to name a few - but I felt like I was able to understand their background, as well, so the movie really did a good job of introducing and establishing the cast for those movie goers out there that have been hiding under a rock for the last thirty years. My analysis is this - clearly the best movie of the year so far - clearly. I'll give "Star Trek" a rating of 8.5 out of 10 for two reasons: First of all, the plot got a little complex for me at times. Mr. Abrams loves his time travel, as many of you know, and I honestly just stopped paying attention for a couple minutes of the movie just because I had no idea what the heck they were talking about, so the movie went a little over my head a time or two in that respect. And secondly, I feel like I need to reserve any 10 out of 10 ratings for something really, really special. I don't know what that might be at this current Time, so don't ask. It's a good one, though. One that I wouldn't feel bad going back to see again before it hit the dollar theater. So yes, I'd recommend it to people who are looking for an escape this weekend. Go check it out and tell 'em A-Town sent you.
If you have something you'd like me to Review, let me know! - tarheelglory19@yahoo.com
Yesterday we went up to my grandpa's house for Memorial Day and when we got there, as usual, the TV was on. Unusually, this time, instead of ESPN or the local news or some old western, it was tuned in to ABC Family or some crazy throw-back channel like that. I'm sure this wasn't my grandfather's doing. The program of choice was "Sister, Sister," featuring Tia and Tamera Mowery. Anybody remember that show? Didn't think so. Basically, this was one of the first all-Black teen high school sitcoms from back in the '90s. Yeah, one of those. Amy, Cody, and I sat down to watch it out of boredom, perhaps. I don't know why else I would willingly sit down to watch that show. The episode was about "slam books," which I remember being banned from my middle school years ago, but I didn't even know what a slam book was back then. Maybe the students at my school got the idea from "Sister, Sister," which makes the whole concept even more ridiculous. Anyway, I was happy to see that my other Black homies from the '90s made a cameo - Kenan and Kel, anyone? Do you know what these shows were all about? Blatant self-promotion. I wish I would have counted how many times Tia and Tamera said their own names in that episode. Lots. Kenan and Kel went by different names, but were up to their old antics, nonetheless - Kenan pretending like he's cool when he's really not and trying to wear fashionable clothes that are not actually stylish and Kel screaming/crying while he dances the Moonwalk while wearing a golden necklace shaped like Africa. Wow. There are times when cross-promotion of entertainment programming is a good idea. Take, for instance, the "City Council Showdown" from a couple months ago down at Snow. Marketing genius. Then, on the other hand, you look at the shameless publicity that our four friends here were begging for. Here's the thing - after all that name dropping, after all that in-your-face remember-my-name attitude, and yes, after all that "All That," look where Tia, Tamera, Kenan, and Kel landed today. Nowhere. Tia and Tamera have disappeared, even after that early 2000's attempt to make a few million bucks for their little brother Taj - simply on the fact that he's another Mawery. Kel hasn't been seen since "Mystery Men" in the late '90s. And Kenan is some unfunny extra on "Saturday Night Live." I dont' really know where I was going with this. Maybe just proving the point that people like Miley Cyrus who get their own TV show when they're not even old enough to drive and try to promote themselves like they're a superstar - or even just an adult - don't end up going anywhere. It never works. And that's the bottom line from the marketing mastermind formerly known as A-Town.
My family and I had a lovely discussion the other night about Twitter around the dinner table. I know I've made a bit of a fuss about it on Facebook, but I was shocked to realize that I hadn't talked about Twitter in the Newsletter yet. I want your opinions about this, so please email me. From what I understand, Twitter is similar to Facebook, but without the quizzes, the applications, and garbage like that. At first, that sounds like it might be nice. I don't need Facebook to tell me when I'm getting married and which temple I'll be doing it in. I don't want to start a squirt gun fight with you. That element of Facebook is a little annoying... Except for thoes Top Five things, which I still love. BUT, Twitter would be the equivalent of Facebook if you only did status updates, apparently. I recently went to Twitter to check out a relative's uh... Twatter?... just to see what it was like. Twitter was created to answer the eternal question of the universe - "What are you doing?" Needless to say, I wasn't impressed. If you want to know what I'm doing, call me! Come hang out with me like they used to do before I went on my mission. Actually, really nobody hung out with me, but I heard that's what other people would do from time to time. I've had problems with creeps on Facebook wanting to know what I'm doing 24/7 - I talked about this one Issue... "Facebook stalking," right? - and sometimes it's too much, even with my vague, overly-general status updates like "Aaron Christensen doesn't want you to know what he's doing right now." ("I wonder what he's doing...") Oh gosh. Gag me with a spoon. Really, though, if I ever did start up an account on Twitter - which I won't - it would be a total joke. I'd probably let people know what kind of cereal I ate in the morning, contrasted with the options presented beforehand, the number of times I used the restroom, the amount of sleep I got that night, as well as the number of times I consciously changed position (strike that... that's creepy), and maybe even the number of times I turned on or off the light in my kitchen that day. If you really want to know, I'll let you know! Really, though. Isn't that a little scary? First off, that you would want to follow a person's life that closely, and secondly, that you'd willing post a message on Facebook with a link to your Twitter page saying "Follow me!"?? I'm a little disturbed. What are your thoughts on the issue?
A minor miracle has just occurred! I found somebody to participate in the triumphant return of the Two-Minute Instant Message! It's none other than the highly influential Ammon Hatch, himself! Aaron will be in Red. Ammon will be in green. For those color blind readers out there, just follow the line breaks. Here's what went down:
All right, man... it's the return of the Two-Minute Instant Message - Are you ready??
Yep.
So Ammon, I've been thinking a lot about Twitter... I'm not really impressed by the fact that people would go that far out of their way to stalk me, so I've ridiculed the heck out of that website and I refuse to get a Twatter... a Tweeter... whatever they call their accounts over there... What are your thoughts?
Well, personally I don't see the point. I mean, if the whole purpose of the site is to say "What are you doing right now"... what's the point? You can do that on Facebook, and there are a lot more features that make that site worth it. Besides, who cares? “I like fish.” Goodie.
Ashton Kutcher, Dwight Howard, Terrell Owens, to name a few... THEY care, Ammon.
Well, it makes sense for them to care. People of their social standing tend to be narcissists anyway. What I don't get is why anyone else cares what they think.
Do you think there are any pros to using Twitter?
Well, maybe a few. I was hoping there would be anyway when I signed up for it last Friday.
You WHAT?!?
Well, there's this guy I listen to on the radio where I get a lot of information and insight. And he, reluctantly, signed up for a twitter. So I thought, alright, maybe I can get more information and insight sent straight to my phone from him. And as much as his messages were okay, they just weren't worth the cons. Just to find out it's a guy that has no idea who you are telling you another reason the world is going to end.... I turned off my mobile updates. Didn't even last through the long weekend.
Did he at least give you the courtesy of informing you about what he had for lunch?
One of his earlier messages was "I like fish" but I think he was mocking the idea of Twitter when he sent it. But I did get to find out he saw Terminator and how he liked it... and I really didn't care.
Cheapskate... Unbelievable. I know this isn’t Twitter, but is there a pressing matter that you’d like to inform the entire A-Town Nation of right now, this very moment? (Please don’t say you like fish...)
But I do like fish...
Dang it. Well, we’re out of time here, unfortunately. Nice talking to you, Ammon. You’re a good man.
Thanks for having me.
And THAT, my friends, is what we like to call the Two-Minute Instant Message.
**QUESTION TIME!!**
Q. "Aaron,
How many Twits could a Twitter tweet twat if a Twitter tweet could twat tweets?"
- Amy and Cody
A. He could twat as many tweets as a Twitter tweet twats if a Twitter tweet could twat tweets. Was that the answer you were looking for?
Q. "Question for Signs of the Times,
What is the scariest movie you have ever seen and why? And on the A-Town rating system... what would it be?"
Just wondering,
- Nikki the Bear
A. Well, Miss Bear, the scariest movie I have seen to date would (hands down) be "The Sixth Sense." Perhaps this will make several of you snicker, but I assure you, for a middle school kid that doesn't like scary movies, this was a real hum dinger. Plus, I saw it in the dollar theater, which adds to the scariness factor - AND my older brother and another kid were sitting right behind me throwing popcorn at my head during the most intense parts. I still can't watch that scene with Mischa Barton puking. Scared me to death. Not literally, of course. I'd give "The Sixth Sense" a 9 out of 10 rating for two reasons: First of all, it was different - a semi-horror movie that paved the way for other psychological thrillers and wasn't entirely based on gory slasher techniques, and second, I feel like I need to reserve any 10 out of 10 ratings for something really, really special. I don't know what that might be at this current Time, so don't ask.
Moving right along, it's Time once again for The Boo Box! (Applause and cheering noises) This edition of The Boo Box is brought to us by our Loyal Subscriber, Andrea Chapman. Andrea writes:
"Can there be a Boo Box moment for golfing? Specifically guys who golf every Saturday and on holidays?"
Yes, there can be. How about those fancy pants girly men that own their own businesses, huh? They think that it's their right and privilege to go out there every weekend and on holidays and tee it up? I find this highly disgusting and disrespectful to those of us who don't have jobs... still... and don't have the money to spend our weekends on the golf course. I also find it extremely distasteful that, when the rest of us finally have the time to go out and recreate (as in recreation, not re-creation or... you know...), that these loafers take their time on the green, as if the rest of us have all the time in the world, too. Speed it up, pops! There are much better things out there that you could be addicted to... like... eating chocolate chips for lunch. Everybody together now - BOOOOOO!!
Finally, while we're mentioning Andrea Chapman, let's just give her the Shoutout of the Week, too, huh? Listen to this - Andrea was up to approximately six hundred friends on Facebook and recently deleted about three hundred and fifty of them! Hoorah! Good for you! *Air five*
That's about it for this week. Dang. It was a long one. Hopefully a good one, too, though. Check the blog site for more polls - I'm working on responding to the last two, don't worry. The link at the bottom of the email will take you directly there. And by the way, the NBA draft is rigged. Go check out my latest note ("The NBA Almost Had Me Fooled") on Facebook.
Until next Time,
Move It. Sell It. And Leave the Door Open.
Aaron
1 comment:
Holler.
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